


Am I the Dreamer or the Dream?

by NobodyWillLoveYouLikeIDo



Series: Am I the Dreamer or the Dream? [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Two Worlds, Angst, Developing Friendships, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt, Inception Inspired, Pining, Romance, Slight Humor, Slow Build, Time Travel, Unrequited Love, un-beta'd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 52,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyWillLoveYouLikeIDo/pseuds/NobodyWillLoveYouLikeIDo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Look in a mirror. What do you see? Is your reflection showing your true face? The world in the glass beyond illuminates the brightest of your own but it also darkens the shadows. Two-faced lovers, double-edged lies, trying to make sense of the world but what happens when you cannot tell which one you are in? <br/>[BOOK II IS UP]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Disparity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Once again, life had a lesson to teach me: It takes years to build up, it takes moments to destroy.”  
> ― Haruki Murakami, Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

**Disclaimer for the rest of the story: I do not own nor am I affiliated with Naruto.**

⧪- **Book One** -⧪

* * *

 

It was supposed to be an easy mission.

Get in, get the scroll, then get out. And of course, return _home_.

...

I didn't even get to say goodbye to _him_ , damn it.

* * *

My eyes felt like they were glued shut with tears and flashing memories but somehow I managed to pry them open. With a sharp inhale of breath, I tried to get my bearings and take in my surroundings.

 _This isn't where I collapsed_ , I think, _or maybe I'm dead now and this is what heaven- or hell- looks like: trees_. Lots of them.

The mission I had been on took place in Iwa. After collecting the scroll, shit went bad and I was the only one in my squad to have gotten out of there alive. At least, until I was nearing the border of the country and the group of enraged rogue nin caught me and proceeded to beat the life out of me. If I remembered correctly, I was left there to die since I had exhausted my chakra from trying to heal good-as-dead teammates and running away.

My blood had pooled around my broken body and looked nice contrasted against the taupe, rocky ground and the setting sun beyond Iwa's mountains. I was almost grateful that I would have died somewhere with a nice view until I thought about what I had left behind.

With those memories, I choked back tears that would cascade down my face and drown me in my laying position.

I'm alive, at least I think I am, but where am I? Had someone found me and spared me? I tried to sit up but I soon realized that my body was still battered and bruised. Not as bad as what I had mere moments of dying, but still pretty bad.

I knew I had to get up, though. Years of field experience has taught me that you're never safe, especially when you're just lying out in the open. I tested my chakra reserves and was pleased to see that I had enough to at least make the fatigue go away. My fingers glowed with that standard, emerald green that signified "medic-nin" and brought them to my forehead, curing my headache and numbing most of body pains as well as running a brief diagnosis over the rest of my body.

A fractured rib, countless bruises and small cuts, large amounts of swelling in both feet, and a slight fever.

 _Great, not enough to die but enough to get me there if I don't find some help or return to Konoha soon_ , I thought bitterly.

The first thing I have to do is find out where I am. I managed to stand on wobbly legs and used the trees that interspersed the area as a brace for me to walk. After about ten meters, I felt the slight presence of chakra coming in from my right. Instinctively, I tried to get into a defensive position to get ready for a confrontation, but my body only allowed me to bend over in pain when I tried to move so quickly.

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath, this might be my last dying word but I just couldn't get over my own self-pity at my situation. I clenched a fist at my heaving chest in frustration.

I heard the light footfall that indicated that whoever was coming had found me. I was still doubled over since I couldn't bring myself to look up at my murderers.

 **Always a coward, aren't ya, Hinowa-chan** , the light, teasing voice of someone I love rang through my ears and instead of being hurt, I felt comforted by that masculine voice.

 _I want to hear your voice before I go, definitely,_ I thought to myself.

"Hey lady, you okay!?" The high-pitched, childish voice made my ears ring and I felt another headache wiggle its way into my head.

"Shut up, Naruto! She's obviously hurt!" Another voice scolded the other in an equally annoying, loud voice.

Seeing as they might have been distracted, I tipped my head up slightly, if only to get my dark bangs out of the way, and looked at my assailants.

Oh. _Oh, gods._

In front of me were Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.

And standing behind them, as lazily as I've always remembered, Hatake Kakashi. It took all of my remaining self restraint not to cry out his name right then and there.

My eyes widened momentarily at the shock of seeing them so unexpectedly until I realized something strikingly different about them: they were all so young. In fact, I'm sure they were still genin just from seeing Naruto's old, orange jumpsuit. Even Kakashi, in all his silver-haired glory, seemed to be lacking the crows feet that adorned his masked face.

Quickly, I looked at my own self. Bringing my hands to face, I ripped the gloves off my left hand and noticed the lack of a scar across the inside of my palm. The scar had come from a mission where one of the enemy nin had managed to throw a kunai straight through my hand as I was trying to heal one of my teammates. Unfortunately, the kunai had passed through my hand and pinned it to the body below it, killing my teammate instantly. I managed to heal the top of my hand before I had to run, hence causing a scar only in my palm.

"Miss, are you lost? We're Konoha nin, we can bring you into the village to get you some medical help." Kakashi walked past his adolescent students, he brought his hands up in a placating manner and made his eyes crinkle in that way that made him seem unthreatening.

I shook my head at disbelief at what I was hearing and seeing. I'm not stupid, I can tell from the way they're acting that they don't know me. They don't know that I know _them_. My own fucking husband for Christ's sake called me "miss" and everyone, me included, is somehow younger!

Did I travel back in time? After the Fourth Shinobi War, the world knew of Time-Space jutsus because of people like Madara and Obito, but how did this happen to me? The last people I had been in contact with were teammates and mediocre (at least compared to beasts like the ancient Uchiha) enemy nin; I was grasping at straws, trying to figure out what happened. It was all just getting weirder and weirder. Perhaps I couldn't tell that my body had become younger because I had been in so much pain when I awoke that I didn't notice.

Blinking to focus back on Kakashi, who I desperately wanted nothing more than to embrace and cry into his arms, I croaked out, "M-my name is Hata-," catching myself before I could say that my name was Hatake Hinowa, I tried again but used my maiden name instead, "Tatsuya Hinowa. If I could please get some medical help..." My voice trailed off, getting too hoarse to properly end the plea.

Hopefully they wouldn't catch my hesitance of saying my name and instead take it as the stuttering of an injured woman. Knowing my husband- Kakashi, I scolded- he would probably still be suspicious either way.

"If you would please get on my back, we can arrive there sooner." With a nod towards Kakashi's suggestion, he knelt in front of me and I clumsily fell onto him. Adjusting my arms and legs, I felt him nod his head at his team and take off.

For a brief moment of peace, I allowed myself to breathe in Kakashi's hair that tickled my forehead.

* * *

The second time I awoke, I knew I was in Konoha's hospital, specifically in a room meant for unknown ninjas. I blinked up at the pale grey of the ceiling until four people walked into my room.

"Thank you." I whispered, still looking up at the ceiling. Mainly because I was too tired to look at my visitors/saviors/friends/husband- definitely not because I was afraid of what I would see, yeah, definitely.

"No problem, Hinowa-san! That's what ninja like me do!" I heard Naruto's constantly excited voice speak out.

"Naruto! We don't know her that well so you can't just call her 'Hinowa-san', 'Tatsuya-san' is more respectful." I cringe at the thought of Sakura further cementing the fact that they don't know who I am.

Gathering up the courage, I turned my head and opened my mouth, "Hinowa-san is alright, I mean you all saved me back there," I corrected with a slight smile, "May I ask where my belongings are?"

Kakashi stepped up once more and waved his hand towards his students as if to say "scram" (which he probably was). Sasuke left with a grunt and Sakura followed, both leaving their blonde teammate behind. Naruto only stared at Kakashi with a "Huh?" until he noticed that the other two had left him and promptly ran off screaming about something.

With the "children"- gods I've seen these children's _children_ be born- gone, Kakashi and I leveled a look at each other. I knew how he was probably seeing if I would crack under his stare but I knew he was stubborn enough not to speak first.

"You could probably tell from my outfit and my belongings that I'm a kunoichi, specifically a medic nin from the medicine and vials in my pack. I was heavily injured because I was running from bandits who thought they could make me into a prostitute. I come from," I paused, should I lie and avoid the trouble of coming from a village who didn't know me? _Of course_ , "I come from a small village in the Land of Tea, but I like to roam the world and have been since I was young...and I obviously picked up on the ninja-arts in my time." I hurriedly added the last part, it was strange for people who displayed a talent for the ninja arts to not approach one of the hidden villages.

A few beats of silence passed through us, though I didn't feel uncomfortable, the man's presence calmed a storm in my heart even if he didn't know it.

Kakashi gave me another searching stare before responding, "I know it may be rude to ask but, how old are you, Hinowa-san?"

I looked past his shoulder and noticed the calendar was about ten years ago from _that_ day, making me twenty-four, and Kakashi twenty-six. Sasuke hasn't left yet and that must have meant the Chuunin exams haven't happened yet.

"I'm twenty-four." I answered, hiding the surprise of going back in time.

After telling him my current age, he had drastically changed his demeanor and became the cheerful, though lazy, jounin instructor, "Maa, I'm only two years older, they say that's the perfect age difference for a couple! You must be very talented by the way, to have had enough control for medical ninjutsu and to learn without staying in a hidden village. In fact, I suggest you speak with the Hokage once you feel good enough to walk. Don't worry, I'll be there to escort you."

Though the man seemed to have a leer throughout our 'conversation', I could tell there was a slight suggestion of a threat in his words. Still didn't stop me from blushing at his words, however.

I took the time to examine the man who had been (is? was?) my husband. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, I felt like I was looking from the outside in; the woman in the hospital bed and the man across from her were nothing but random faces.

But it wasn't. It was _me_ who had bandages wrapping my body. It was _me_ whose possessions were confiscated and searched to confirm if I was a threat or not. It was _me_ who seemed to be the only one confused and upset that the person who held my heart, my mind, my _soul_ , didn't know me. Didn't even know my name.

The experience was jarring to say the least.

Once again I felt the rising feelings of heartbreak and helplessness threatening to consume my body and force me to break down and cry. Maybe this was all a bad dream and this, the hospital, the rogue nin, the mission, didn't even happen. I'd wake up and Kakashi would be there, mouth uncovered, face serene, and strong arms wrapped around me. Or maybe I really am dead and this was heaven? Though it seemed more like hell with how Kakashi was hurting me from not knowing who I was. This could even be a second chance, some merciful god saw me slipping into darkness on Iwa ground and decided that I could have a re-do. But why make me younger? Why erase my existence? I was left alone in a world that was created without me. I felt like I was intruding on their lives, in _his_ life, which had continued peacefully until I came in. Like some anomaly in the universe, I was here and I would continue to be.

I didn't respond to this man. I grew exhausted all to quickly and faced the ceiling once more. I didn't hear him get up and walk out though the click of the door signaled that he was gone.

That man. He wasn't my Kakashi. Those children weren't my Team 7. I was a complete stranger to them and they were strangers to me. This world never once had the name "Tatsuya Hinowa" uttered through any of its mouths and now that it has, that name has pushed itself in and had itself be known. In this world, I had no one I can trust and I found myself having to rely only on myself once more.


	2. Small Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”   
> ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

After another grueling night at the hospital- being fed bland food and staring at even blander ceilings- the nurses cleared me and I was allowed to leave. I stood in front of the main desk where a round, rosy-cheeked woman- Akano? She might have retired before I came to work here in my previous world- instructed me to be careful around my bandages and avoid strenuous activities (though she added that last part with a wink, which I begrudgingly blushed at).

Since I had no valuables to collect, I had only needed to sign out of a clipboard that would record my stay and tell the other nurses that my room was available. If I think back hard enough, I could remember that I "came into this world" only wearing my ninja blacks, which were a sturdy black sweatshirt and standard grade pants, as well as my heeled sandals. I had somehow lost my flak jacket though I kept my pouch which should have had weapons and various medical supplies (which were all still confiscated, mind you). Whoever, or  _what_ ever, brought me into this world was determined to make sure my identity was erased and as far from Konoha as possible.

Now that I'm discharged out of the hospital though, I was able to wear the ninja blacks and my heeled sandals instead of borrowing some used civilian clothing. I spread my chakra out discreetly to sense anyone nearby and caught the familiar, cool sensation that rang out  _Kakashi_ in my head.

 _Kakashi, I can sense you waiting outside the hospital_ , I thought fondly. Even when I knew that he was only there to make sure I speak with the Hokage, I still felt sentimental over small gestures such as this. Even in my "previous" world, he was a man of small gestures but **big** love.

 

_We were in the kitchen that night, cooking up a late dinner since he had just come home from a mission. I thought he would have been napping on the couch while I cooked but instead he was here, next to me, watching intently as I took out a pot and filled it with water to boil._

_"You need something, Kakashi-sensei?" I teased. Even though his team had all grown up, I still took pleasure in reminding him that he had once been in charge of three little genin._

_"Well, it looked like you needed help, so I decided to grace you with my expertise this night." He replied smugly, fingers absently playing with my onyx hair. We both knew that despite his skill in the ninja arts, the man was a complete airhead when it came to anything house related like cooking. I didn't reply so he picked up a knife and reached for a carrot._

_I peeked out at the corner of my eyes to look at him then. Really look at him._ Gods, I **love** this man _, I thought as I watched him diced the vegetable with a strength of a legend but with the clumsiness of a man who hasn't cooked much before. It left the carrot with clean cuts, though the pieces were uneven and the top layer of the carrot hadn't even been peeled._

_I allowed myself one last thought of tenderness before taking the kitchen knife from his fingers and pushing him aside to cut the vegetables myself._

_"You watching, Kakashi?" I asked as I grabbed a radish and diced it evenly._

_The silver haired man lifted his hitae-ate and spun his Sharingan._

_"Of course, Hinowa-sensei." He joked._

 

A startled, though near silent, gasp left my mouth as I recalled that memory. I'd known he had taken out his Sharingan and I scolded him for using it again so soon after just returning from a mission. Then I promised him I would teach him how to cook, "As long as you stayed in the village more", so that he didn't need to copy how I chopped vegetables. Later on that night, while wrapped in his arms, he had told me that he wanted to remember how I looked like making him a meal instead.

Remembering all this made the backs of my eyes prickle uncomfortably. It was only years of keeping an expressionless mask during missions that kept me from sobbing right there inside the hospital. I would certainly be admitted again, though probably sent off to a different section to be treated. 

With a deep breath, I strode out the door and acted surprise to see him out there. Kakashi then proceeded to act surprised himself because he had happened to be there just as I was leaving.

"Oh, it's you." I faked a tone of surprise, though the fondness in my voice had been sincere.

"Maa, what a surprise, Hinowa-san! While we're here, I might as well escort you to the Hokage now and get this over with, yes?"

This interaction seemed all too familiar to how we used to be, but the feelings were different. He was there to make sure I was not a threat. I was there to...

I was there to figure out why this is happening to me. If I deserved this second chance. If I even wanted it.

We walked in silence, him in front while I stayed a few steps behind him to make it seem like he was leading me toward the Hokage Tower just up the main road. On our way there I thought of what I would say to the Hokage, the Sandaime if the calendar had been correct. It had been years since I'd seen him and I would need to control my reaction to a dead man talking. Hiruzen had been there for me when my own family had given their lives to protect Konoha from the Kyuubi attack. Granted, it was only me, my parents and my grandmother that was left of our clan but they had been my entire world until the attack took them. It was under Hiruzen's understanding and care that I moved on from there and had met one of my closest friends, Umino Iruka. Things were never the same but I moved on.

Things will never be the same in this world either, but I knew I had to move on as well.

With this new resolution, me and Kakashi entered the tower.

* * *

"So you came from the Land of Tea, Tatsuya-san? I'm glad to hear you're from Fire Country as well." The old man's demeanor was serene though his face held evidence of the years of working as a shinobi. The God of Shinobi lounged in his chair as I stood before him. Kakashi was leaning on a wall behind me, outside my vision. When we had walked into the Sandaime's office I took in everything that was inside. The man, the desk, the pictures of him and his family.

It was all so very...nostalgic. Something inside of me heaved and fell apart at how everything in this room seemed alive once more yet distant and out of reach at the same time.

 _This isn't my world. Not my Hokage. No, this is_ Tatsuya _Hinowa's world now._

It felt like I was looking from the outside-in again.

"Call me Hinowa. And I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused your ninja, they must have been working until they found me." I was speaking on auto-pilot by then, the words they needed to hear tumbling out of my mouth as my heart and mind were preoccupied by the celebration of having what was once lost, here again. Even if they didn't know me, even when they weren't originally mine, I felt relieved at the sight of my precious people. The people who I felt I would kill and die for.

"Oh don't trouble yourself over that, Hinowa-san. From what Kakashi here told me, you were in dire need of medical help," At hearing his name, my eyes moved sideways to catch the jounin in my peripherals, "Though he had also told me about your talent for medical ninjutsu. Would you care to elaborate?"

"As I've told you, I come from the Tatsuya clan in the Land of Tea. Originally, we were a shinobi clan but as our clan numbers dwindled we moved towards agriculture. Our already small clan was then attacked by bandits, killing everyone but me and my grandmother. When I was ten she had died from old age, leaving me alone," I figured it was better to tell half-truths, I truly did not have any family that would take me in otherwise (or what if I _did_ have family in this world, but they did not know me either), "From then on I travelled around, picking things up as I went. Our clan was well known for our medicinal herbs and that helped me learn medical ninjutsu faster*."

It was a bit of a long winded explanation but they would have asked about my origin at some point or another. Then I thought about if I should tell them that  _other_ thing about me. I might as well if I want to gain their trust and stay in this village. I knew that I didn't want to leave; I could find out more about my "predicament" in the familiarity of Konoha.

"There's also one more thing," I added hesitantly, "My clan stopped being known for its shinobi years ago but we still carry a summoning contract tied to our name." Hiruzen's once placid eyes hardened after I said the words. 

"The Tatsuya clan are the only ones capable of summoning dragons*." I confessed.

The air around the office had grown rigid with the seriousness emanating from the figures inside. In my world, all of Konoha had known about my summons and it was one of the main reasons I had become a high-ranking jounin. My own taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjustsu have been average but with my dragon summons, I could become a force to be reckoned with. It had even earned me a nickname in the bingo books as "The Dragon of the South*". However, now that this world knows of my summons, who knows how they will react.

"Show me." Two simple words that commanded me to follow Hiruzen's order. I sensed that the ANBU hiding in the shadows, as well as Kakashi, prepared themselves for any trouble that could arise from my summons. I think they either thought I would use my summons to attack the Hokage or that I was bluffing and using this as a moment to escape and carry out any other nefarious plans.

Then the realization dawned on me: would my summons even work in this world? This world that had stripped me of my identity? There was no backing out now that I had just told the Sandaime what I was capable of. Either I would make a fool of myself or this pulls through. I hoped for the latter.

With a slightly shaking hand, I bit my thumb and called out, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

I willed for Mushu to appear. Someone small as not to frighten anyone.

With a small cloud of dust appearing, a skinny, red dragon strutted itself out into the open.

"Hey Hicchan what's the big idea? Weren't you supposed to be on a mis-" In panic I snatched him up and covered its mouth. The tiny dragon struggled against my grasp as I smiled at the Hokage.

"Here's one of my summons, Hokage-sama!" I giggled over-excitedly while Mushu began to claw at my fingers. In my head I warned him to keep his mouth shut and that I would explain everything  _later_. The red dragon immediately stilled.

"My, what a cute summon. I've heard of dragons being able to be summoned in the past but to actually see one in my lifetime!" At the Hokage's hearty laugh, the tension in the room diffused and settled back into its previous nonchalance.

"I can assume you can do more than this, yes?" I nodded at the Hokage's question. I knew from experience that this tone of voice meant that he'd resign himself to something and ultimately let his own kindness take over.

"Then I can permit you to stay in Konoha if you so pleased. Of course, my ANBU will be keeping track of you to make sure you don't do anything doubtful, " I'd bet the word he really meant to say was  _suspicious_ or  _dangerous_ or even outright saying that he didn't excuse me as a threat just yet, "I'd also expect you to carry your own weight in this village, we are one of the great hidden villages and there always seems to be some kind of work that needs to be done. If you accept, we can have you tested for genin, chuunin, and any other rank so that you can continue using the most of your capabilities. But just be mindful that this process may take a while, considering that you are still an unknown shinobi."

I was overjoyed and a bit surprised at the thought that I can stay in Konoha because I had thought I would have been hauled off to T&I immediately after gaining consciousness back in the hospital, but it seems I was right in playing the truthful card and I managed to gain some trust along the way.

Though the moment had been bittersweet. Yes, I could stay in my beloved village, surrounded by my precious people. Yet, they didn't know me. This Konoha shares no feelings towards me, a complete stranger. And worst of all, I was back in a time of peace, before shit hit the fan. Will the events that occurred in my world happen the same in this one too? Could I perhaps play a role in changing the past, now present, for a better future? Had I the right to change things? If I did, things would surely be different than what I had experienced in my world. 

Remembering an old text I had read when I was younger, I thought back at the theory that every little action caused reactions that would change not only its own course, but the course of those around it. Maybe I could use my knowledge of the future to my advantage, but if I changed this world too much, I would lose this ability before it became truly beneficial to me. I would need to play my cards right. First, I'd have to figure out what things haven't changed about me and the world I am in. Then I'd need to plan out what events I would participate in and/or change.

As I thought about my own situation, I had a slight idea to think about my previous world, my previous life. We had made it out okay in a general sense, though many of my precious people had died or ended up broken. Even Kakashi, who had burdened himself with the loss of everyone he was responsible of, was never fully  _there_ at times. Looking at my own self, as I was in that world and as I am in this one, there were little cracks in me that could not be fixed. Its pieces long gone and one of a kind, impossible to replace. _  
_

That previous world had the most painful memories, but perhaps the sweetest moments. Through those hellish days is where I had learned to appreciate the good days, even the somewhat decent ones.

If I somehow manage to change the course of this world's future, would those good days be just as sweet? Could I find happiness in a world that I molded with my own hands?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *medical ninjustsu faster = They were a shinobi clan so obviously Hinowa had a larger amount of chakra than a normal civilian. Knowing the uses of medicinal herbs can help create poisons or soldier pills that can boost chakra as well.  
> *summoning dragons = I'm using this spelling of Tatsuya 竜也, that has 竜 "dragon" and 也 "to be" (archaic form), and together it roughly means "dragon assertive". I mainly chose it for its ties with the word "dragon".  
> *The Dragon of the South = Yeah... I ripped that from ATLA! Sorry, but I still love you Uncle Iroh! And if you look at the geography of the Land of Fire, you'll see they're more south than east, west, or north.


	3. Old Friends, New Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The truth." Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”   
> ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

_The meeting with Hiruzen could have gone smoother_ , I think to myself as I headed out of the Hokage tower. After signing some paperwork in the lobby- mainly about personal information like birth date, weight, special skills, etc.- Kakashi had told me to wait outside for him while he goes "do something really quick", as so eloquently said by the man. Mushu was still cradled in my arms, eyes focused on me as I tried to block out the questions he shared to my head.

"Want to explain everything to me now, Hicchan?" The red scaled dragon asked through my mindspace. I was glad that me and my summons could interact telepathically but there were times where I wished I could block them out of my head. In fact, Inoichi had once wanted to test if he could try something on me that would do something like that, but I declined in fear of losing the advantage of telepathic communication.

Continuing on ignoring the dragon, I waited on the side of the hospital for Kakashi to return. It was reminiscent of the times where I waited for him to turn in his mission reports to the Hokage tower. _If I didn't force him to and wait for him outside until he did it, he would never get them done_ , I thought. I was stuck remembering all the times I had chewed him out for giving Iruka a hard time every time he filled out those forms that I didn't notice a certain green-clad man walking by. Said man paused when he caught sight of me and peered down to look at the dragon I was holding.

"What a youthful sight indeed! A lovely spring flower with a crimson dragon hanging off her arm! Such vibrant youth! Miss, if I could know your name it would delight me and bring me to do one hundred laps around Konoha on my hands!" I was shaken out of my reverie when The Green Beast of Konoha started speaking to me. As he finished his speech, he posed his signature thumbs up and glimmering smile. It must have been a genjutsu the way that there were sparkles and rainbows radiating from behind him. Gai always did have a flair for theatrics.

"I'm Tatsuya Hinowa, but please, just use my first name. This is Mushu by the way." I gestured my summon toward him but Mushu visibly tried to lean his body back as far as possible from the shining man.  _Hicchan!_ , the dragon whined in my head,  _y'know the guy gives me the creeps!_ _  
_

Appeasing the dragon, I pulled him back to me and gave Gai a small smile. Before me and Kakashi had even started dating- if ninjas could even say they  _date_ , more like missions teamed together and the occasional gathering for drinks- Gai and I had been very close friends. I think that through him, I managed to see Kakashi more and in a way, The Green Beast had become a bit of my wingman since I knew that I had feelings for Kakashi long before he began to reciprocate him. Gai had been a friend I met later on in life, after becoming a jounin, but I felt he was definitely one of my precious people. It was relieving and incredible to see him again after thinking that I had died. However, he will also be another person that I will have to be lying to... Pushing that regret as far down the depths of my mind that it can go, I refocused back on the feelings of gratitude to see a dear friend alive and well again.

"Hinowa! A bright and youthful name and as beautiful as the sun that shines down on Konoha! Oh! It seems I have not introduced myself before asking for your name, I will have to do three hundred push ups to atone my mistake! If you can excuse my rudeness to properly introduce myself?" He asked with dotted tears glistening in the corners of his eyes. His face suddenly looked chiseled out and serious despite looking comical all the same.

 

>  
> 
> (A/N: something like this!)

I nodded at his request. "I am Maito Gai! Otherwise known as The Green Beast of Konoha!" He immediately recovered as he told me his name, his spandex suit flexing along with him. I giggled behind my hand at the eccentric man. After the fourth war, Gai had still been cheerful compared to others but even he suffered those moments of disassociation. It was nice to see him as he once was, though even I was not a fool to believe the man wasn't without his own demons even now in this past-present. We had been through more than one war after all.

I felt Kakashi's presence near us just as Gai was about to speak again.

"It seems you've met Gai, Hinowa-san," The lack of intimacy at the way he said my name sent a jab to my heart, "Please don't think all of Konoha is like him. Gai is just this kind of...individual." He finished his sentence with a sigh and casted a glance at the spandex wearing man.

"My eternal rival! Of course you would know of this magnificent flower! It is just like you to surround yourself with other hip and youthful people!" Gai _powerfully_  - his voice was one you just had to describe as being buff like him- said to the silver haired man. Kakashi just closed his eyes in resignation but I knew the two were close friends, this kind of conversation was easy and familiar to the both of them.

Then Gai remembered he had other business to attend to in the tower and rushed off in a flurry after saluting to Kakashi and giving me one of those million-watt smiles.

With a sigh, Kakashi turned to me and exasperatedly said, "So, since you got along with Gai I'm guessing you can get along with everyone else here in Konoha. I can help you find your apartment since I was somehow appointed to being your personal escort."

"You don't have to trouble yourself," And remembering that I now "know" his name after Hiruzen called him earlier I added shyly, "...Kakashi-san. I don't want to take up more of your time." I had wanted to be genuine with this statement but I knew I wanted to be a bit selfish and have his attention for a bit longer. Anything that I can grab at, honestly, because I have the dreadful feeling that I will not be able to truly fall in love with Kakashi. Not this one, I mean. The Hatake Kakashi that I love and married was left behind in my previous world. Still yet, the two men were basically identical but were separated by the experiences they've faced. This Kakashi might turn out  _different_ if I truly did change anything influential in this world.

"Nonsense, Hinowa-san," He lightheartedly waved his hand at me to prove that he wasn't having none of it.  _Still stubborn no matter what world I'm in_ , I thought. "I'll just walk you to your house then. If you feel up to it, I'll be willing to give you a free tour of Konoha, courtesy of one Hatake Kakashi" He added with a leer.  _Also still so self-righteous_ , Mushu shook his head in my arms.

With a sigh, I approved his offer of walking me home as well as giving me a tour around a village I had grown up in. It  _would_ look suspicious if I just knew where everything was.

* * *

We walked together in the same fashion as earlier, him in front as I trailed behind him. I silently hoped that one day I would be able to stand by his side and be acknowledged by him, perhaps not as a lover but as a comrade. In my original world we worked alongside each other and I can't say that we didn't work well. Our natural ability to work with each other had paired us on missions more often than not, and it helped to further our romance then. In this world, perhaps I should find someone else who's just as compatible with my fighting style...

Before heading off, we had agreed that he would drop me off and let me settle into my new apartment before coming by once more in an hour to give me the tour. On our way there, we walked in a comfortable silence, though I admit I could see a few stares out from the corner of my eyes. Most were directed at me, the stranger, and some were directed to Kakashi. I wasn't socially inept, even in my original world, Kakashi gathered a few looks when we were out together because he was  _the_ Sharingan Kakashi. The Copy nin. The Man of a Thousand Jutsus. It was a bit of a struggle to have married a man with such a reputation, though usually people stuck to just staring and cleared the way when we walked.

Despite the looks, most if not all were just filled with curiosity, we reached my designated sleeping arrangement. Originally, I had stayed in my clan's compound- which had just been about three houses on a medium sized plot of land- before moving in with Kakashi in his clan's compound- which was definitely much more grander than my own. It was different to have my own apartment now, even though these apartment buildings were issued to Konoha nin only. I didn't know what to feel about Hiruzen letting me stay in the shinobi apartment complexes so readily instead of putting me somewhere in the civilian sectors. Too much trust in a resident of the Land of Fire? Genuine kindness towards a woman who admitted to knowing the ninja arts? Or perhaps he did it for some other reason altogether.

Kakashi had left with a salute after telling me that he lived in the building next door to mine's. Why he felt it was needed to tell me this extra information, I had no clue. Maybe he felt responsible over me and wanted to let me know he'd be nearby anyways.

After stepping into the apartment I released a sigh as I slid down the back of the closed door. I'd have to set up some wards sooner or later to ensure the security of my apartment. For now, I would like to just gather my bearings and plan out my course of action.

Mushu wriggled in my arms so I let him go. I sat there on the floor with legs outstretched, my eyes closed and my features turned downwards.

"Alright, alright, we're in the safety of some enclosed area so cough it up. What happened?" Mushu stood in front of me with his hand on his hip, his posture looked all to similar to Iruka's teacher look that said _Explain everything, and I mean everything, right now, mister_.

My eyebrows pinched together as I drew out another sigh, "I think we're in a different world. At first I thought I was sent back in time; I'm sure you've noticed how young I look and that the Sandaime is still alive. But...no one knows who I am. I was found outside the gates by Team 7, injured and without any identification on me. Nobody knew my name, so who would back me up if I had said that I was a Konoha nin? And please, for the love of Kami, lower your voice!" I explained all this in a harsh whisper, there were still ANBU around and I couldn't risk them overhearing anything that would incriminate me. Hopefully, they stayed outside the apartment weren't close enough to hear me whispering.

"So what you're saying  _is_ : we've been sent to some other world where your entire identity is erased and you have no clue how or why this is happening to you?" I nodded. "And now you've found yourself back in Konoha, past-Konoha I mean, because the fourth war apparently hasn't happened yet?" Another nod.

"I think I-I think I know what I have to do, Mushu." I stuttered at what I am about to say. It was one thing to think about it, another to say it aloud. As if I was confirming everything that has and will happen. "This could be a second chance for me, for us. We still have our memories, right? So maybe we can somehow change a few things before everything spirals downhill. I don't know if we can prevent a war, but we can help some people."

Mushu gave me a long, searching look before speaking up again, "You mean help your precious people?"

"No...more than that. There are others who were innocent but killed anyways, those who deserve justice. We know the  _truth_. We know things that will get us killed. It all comes down to how we use this knowledge."  We both shared a grim look as we thought about the complications of our situation. On one hand, we can make things right by letting the truth be known. The Uchiha massacre, Obito and Madara, Naruto's parents. These secrets were volatile too, however, they could backfire on us and make things worse by setting them free. The war might happen quicker if these things were known.

A voice deep in the back of my head told me that the people these secrets were _hurting_ deserved the right to know the truth. It wasn't fair for me or for them to withhold anything that I know about them. I was resolute with the decision that these secrets will let themselves be known, at the right time. I've always believed that the truth will set you free, so here's to hoping that revealing these secrets will be for the greater good. 

* * *

When I had finally picked myself up from the floor, I asked Mushu to tell the other summons about what we discussed before sending him back. Then I spent the rest of the hour checking out the apartment- all standard furniture, nothing out of the ordinary, and all very  _beige_ \- and laying on my bed, planning on what I would do next. And after that. And even after that. A good ninja always knew to plan way ahead and to always assume that the enemy is two steps ahead of you.

By the time I felt Kakashi's familiar chakra come near my apartment building, I had gotten up from the bed and headed toward the door. I opened it before Kakashi's fist could land on the wood to knock.

"Were you able to sense me?" He asked, fist still raised.

"You weren't trying very hard to conceal your chakra in the first place, Kakashi-san." I walked out of the door as he stood aside, arm slowly lowered down.

 

 


	4. Shoreline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The sea always filled her with longing, though for what she was never sure.”  
> ― Cornelia Funke, Inkheart

When Hicchan had first summoned me, she was a little girl with full cheeks and a bright aura. Just like her name sake, she radiated off warmth unto others, similar to that of the sun. The Tatsuya clan had a very unique summoning contract: with dragons. Slowly but surely, Hicchan had gained the skills to summon all my brothers and sisters. Seeing her progress and growing strength, I felt that the Tatsuya clan would rise back to its former glory once more. Hell, when I was but a young serpent myself, this clan ruled the eastern lands, but as the times changed and nations were born the Tatsuya clan had migrated southward, bringing us along with them.

To say that I was disappointed to find out that Hicchan had somehow landed herself in a world where no one knew her, and in turn did not know of the Tatsuya clan, was an understatement.  _Big Sister Shaw was right, Hicchan does attract trouble at every corner_ , I thought with a grumble,  _At this rate, we'll never become The Dragon Clan of the Eastern Kingdom ever again._ _  
_

Despite my own reservations of our situation I pitied Hicchan. She lost many things because of war in our old world but it seems she's lost nearly everything just by existing in this one. The ache in her eyes when she spoke with Hiruzen, the relief of seeing her old friend Gai, and the continuous affection that filled her features when she was around Kakashi were all too apparent on her face. To me at least, I _have_ known her for most of her life. When I had seen Kakashi myself, I was about to scold that grey-haired brat about treating Hinowa like she was a stranger. He hadn't even stood up for her when Hiruzen questioned, no, interrogated her like she was some spy! Of course, when I had been summoned in the first place I instantly knew there was something wrong. The air was too stale, Hicchan gave off long-stringed, worried thoughts, and the village outside the windows seemed much too peaceful. As if it had not seen war in a while.

That was why I had asked Hinowa what was wrong until she slapped her nasty, sweaty palm over my mouth to shut me up.  _I'm gonna get back at you for that one, little_ _lady_.

Then she told me to shut up through her mind and at first I had wanted to struggle, but the pleading tone she took on forced me to comply. When she had finally explained everything to me I had been skeptical at first. Seriously. I thought the whole village had been pulling one over on her and she was too naive to notice. She was intelligent and could reason well enough to become a high-ranking jounin but there were times where the woman's naiveté embodied her. The small girl who wanted to warm the hearts of others like the sun and whined "Muuuushuuu!" never did truly go away as Hicchan grew up.

She then told me she wanted to change the world for the better like some kind of superhero. I was tempted to taunt her and say she was no Naruto, you can't save people on sheer will alone but the look in her golden eyes spoke volumes of her newfound conviction. In those orbs I had seen something I almost thought she had lost after the fourth war: **hope**.

 _You're a troublemaker that's for sure, Hicchan. But I don't want to be the one who breaks this goal of yours because as your faithful summons, of course we will follow you. Anywhere. For anything._  

Even at her worst I have always thought of Hicchan fondly. So when she sent me away to tell the others about our new situation and Hicchan's new goal, I had readily poofed off to find my brothers and sisters.

* * *

"Maa, tell me how you were able to sense my chakra?" Kakashi walked languidly in front of me as we passed by a stall that sold prawn crackers. During our tour, he had pointed out the Hokage monument, the direction of the closest training grounds, and his favorite sake bar. All in all, it was a lazy tour and was obviously meant to get more information out of me. He didn't seem to have a plan in mind when it came on where to "show" me next, just walked in a path that would lead us in a full loop around the village and end up back in front of my apartment. Of course, he probably meant to make it look like his steps were unintentional but I knew the streets of Konoha like the back of my hand. Kakashi didn't need to know that, though.

"I told you, already. I picked up a few tricks on the road." He also didn't need to know I had the basic skills of any other jounin elite either. At least Kakashi didn't need to know that either, not yet.

"Some trick," I heard him say under his breath. It was inaudible for most but my own refined hearing was able to catch it. "If you're actually looking to become a Konoha nin, I'd advise you give it a week or two before trying for any exams."

"Afraid I'd be able to become a better ninja than you, Hatake-san?" I responded playfully. I switched over to call him by his last name because it didn't seem right to be so familiar with someone I had just met, even if I married somebody with the exact same face. At least like this, I'd be able to detach myself and be reminded that this is  _not_ my Kakashi. It'd be like talking with my Kakashi's long lost twin brother...yeah. Something like that.

Said appointed long lost twin brother gave me a sidelong glance over his shoulder, "Nothing like that. You should give the village some time to get used to you, is all." He said all this with a muted tone, almost as if he was talking to himself.

 _"Get used to me", yeaaaah right. You just can't say that it would be suspicious if I had immediately tried for a rank the second I got into Konoha. I wasn't planning on getting back on my ninja-feet again so soon anyways, not after almost dying and ending up here_ , I thought darkly. I still appreciated Kakashi's backhanded warning regardless of my thoughts.

We were almost back at my apartment again before I heard a crash and a loud yell behind us. I turned around to question the noise as Kakashi released a comical sigh. My eyes caught a blur of orange rushing toward me and just before it collided into me I had managed to grasp that blur's shoulders.

"Ahh! Let go of me I need to get away!" Naruto barked worriedly, his eyes didn't face me but instead looked frightened behind him. I could almost feel Kakashi's eye roll from here.

"Sorry, uh," Technically, I didn't know Naruto's name yet so I had to stick with neutral pronouns, "it's just me! What are you running from, anyways?"

At my voice, the blonde boy's eyes found mines and it took a moment before recognition stirred in his blue orbs. "Hey, you're that lady I saved from the forest! And I'm running from that mean dog who barks at me all the time!" Just then, a runty, brown dog turned the corner and barked out at the streets. Naruto shivered in response and went behind me to cling to my back.

A beat of tension passed until the dog sniffed the air and trudged back in the direction it came from. Weird.

"Woah, thanks for hiding me, lady!" Naruto jumped back out from behind me and scratched his head bashfully. I forgot how cute he was when he was a kid, I wondered if his own infant would grow up to look like the child in front of me.

With a smile as my response, I then said, "My name is Tatsuya Hinowa."

"Huh?...Oh! Sorry, I'm Uzumaki Naruto! My goal is to be hokage one day so I can protect everyone and have them acknowledge me, believe it!" Hearing the boy's declaration lit a fire in myself. To have heard it so often even in my previous world and to see his dreams come to fruition, I reigned in the sudden want to tell him that  _yes_ , you will become Hokage and  _yes_ , you become a hero the world has never seen. I will personally see to it that other people acknowledge this dream of yours, not just after you become the hero of Konoha but before that as well.

The corners of my eyes crinkle as my smile widens just a bit more, "I do believe it, Na-ru-to-kun."

The boy blinks in surprise, taking in my words slowly like he couldn't understand me. Abruptly, his face fills with red and he began sputtering and touching the points of his fingers together. "O-oh, a-ah, yeah...thank you, Hinowa-chan." He said quietly.

Before I could say anything else, he looked up at me and then turned his eyes at Kakashi and finally ran off ahead of us hollering about Ichiraku's or something. All the while still red-faced and jittery. So cute.

"That was one of my cute, little genin students. He's quite the loudmouth, as you'd probably think."

My face was still pointing in the direction that Naruto ran off to as I replied to Kakashi without looking at him, "A loudmouth, for sure." I replied with eyes that were closed with mirth as a smile danced on my lips. 

* * *

After Kakashi had dropped me off back at home with a noncommittal wave, I sat on one of my dining table's chairs as I thought of what I would do next.

 _I should probably summon Ryuujin-sama*_ , I thought as I shifted the glass of water in my hands. Making up my mind, I pushed myself out from my seat and headed to the living room area which was just the room next to the dining room/kitchen.

Making sure that there were no ANBU directly in my apartment, I then bit my finger and activated the summoning technique, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

Unlike Mushu who appeared in a puff of smoke, Ryuujin-sama had come in with a mist. When the mist had dissipated, a tall man with imperial regalia stood with the grace of an emperor. Which he technically was. Ryuujin-sama could take on a human form which the other summons could not do and in this form I couldn't deny that he was handsome. With a strong, yet regal face and hair that resembled that of the Uchiha's own onyx, except Ryuujin-sama's eyes were a sapphire blue that seemed to change and waver like the tides. His regalia exemplified his affinity to water, a reminder of legends that named him a water god, with silk that came in various aquamarine shades and a delicate crown that had a serpent intertwined with the thin gold band. When I had been younger, I was a bit wary of this man who seemed like he came out of a fairytale but with time he became known to me as one of my most wisest summons. He had taught me many things about respect, war, and inner strength throughout my life. In my previous world, I had become an old woman in terms of a shinobi's lifespan, faced two wars and made somewhat of a family for myself with Kakashi. Now that everything had been taken from me, I felt lost and without belonging. I needed someone like Ryuujin-sama who would always be there to put me on the right path and see what lies ahead of me.

After an assessing glance towards me and the shoddy apartment, Ryuujin-sama was the first to speak, "Mushu had expressed the situation that we have found ourselves in beforehand, but I would not have believed it for I deigned to think that we would be reduced to such insignificant... _nobodies_ ," The raven haired man hissed out the last word, his eyes raging a storm of grey and blue. I flinched at his harsh tone, I had expected backlash from my summons but I still found myself cowering. **Always a coward, aren't ya, Hinowa-chan** , that voice rang between my ears as I was scrutinized by Ryuujin-sama's narrowed eyes.

Dragons were proud creatures. To take away their name, title, and reputation was akin to killing them. This is especially true to Ryuujin-sama, who was used to a frightening notoriety and a lavish lifestyle, whose existence is seemingly now reduced to myths and folktale.

The Tatsuya clan had been small but had amassed a large wealth due to us being such an ancient clan. In this world however, dragons were nothing more than legend, the Tatsuya clan were not even a memory. In this world, we were nobodies.

"I apologize, Ryuujin-sama," I fell to my knees and bowed before him, this was one of the only ways to calm him down before a real storm picked up in the Land of Fire. I could feel the stinging of my eyes that threatened to release tears. I had also felt like I wanted to voice my own apologies to myself, to my summons, and to the people I have already lied to by laying myself down like this. There were many things to repent for already in this world it seems.

"Get up, Hinowa-hime. Someone of your stature should not lower themselves like this, like some peasant." Seeing as I continued to bow before him, my forehead touching the floorboards and my own dark hair curtaining my shoulders, his eyes softened and his tone held apology as he spoke, "Princess, come now, rise from the ground you grovel at. Do not be difficult with me. You had summoned me because you are in distress, did you not? Come, let us go to  _that_ place."

Princess had been a name he had called me since after I had gained deference to him as a child. The same way that I call him his name after he had finally told me it, we regarded each other with a familiar fondness. We considered each other more than just summon and summoner, but instead as friends, comrades,- and after my parents and grandmother had passed- family.

I looked up when he suggested we go to  _that_ place. Ryuujin-sama as well as the other dragons could all communicate with me telepathically, but he and only two others were capable of entering my mindspace completely.

My mouth hung open as I was still on my knees, though I shook my head earnestly in agreement. It'd be nice to go somewhere familiar and safe. What better place than your own head, right?

Anyone looking at us would assume that the summon had disappeared and I merely blanked out, but that was not the case. We had both drawn ourselves into my mindspace, private and personal.

In here, the scenery changed to that of an empty beach overlooking a setting sun. The breeze was a bit cold but the leftover warmth from the sun left the sand below my bare feet feel nice and comforting. Ryuujin-sama was farther away from me, towards the rockier part of the beach that had a wooden pier stretch out towards the blue of the sea and the pink of the skies.

His hair was flowing like the tides from the way the wind caressed his opulent figure. His gaze was intense but seemingly thousands of years old, holding that weariness from seeing many wars and nations built and destroyed. From where I stood, he truly did look like the God of the Seas. 

While the last of the sun's rays fell unto his face, he addressed me without ever taking his eyes off the ocean in front of him, "Now, what is it do you need of me, Princess?"  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ryuujin-sama = Ryuujin or Owatatsumi, the dragon god of the sea.


	5. The Kids Are Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What happens when people open their hearts?"  
> "They get better.”  
> ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

The ANBU stationed outside of Tatsuya Hinowa's home immediately bristled at the flare of chakra that came out of the apartment. It wasn't enough chakra to be considered an immediate danger but enough for something small, like a summoning jutsu. Either way, it was something that brought attention to the petite, dark haired woman. One operative that wore a mask depicting a cat nodded their head at the other ANBU crouched low next to her. Together, they peered into their charge's window to examine the situation.

It was crucial for ANBU to gather as much information as possible before heading off to warn the Hokage. This particular woman was a liability for the village, no record, no information on her other than what she had given them earlier. Besides making sure that she would not cause trouble for the other villagers, their mission instructed them to gather intelligence on her and determine whether she is a spy or not. It's not just luck and coincidence that a kunoichi who is capable of dragon summons and medical ninjutsu just stumbles into Konoha's gates. Especially when the village was short on actual medic-nins at the moment.

If she proves to be innocent and wishes to join Konoha's ranks, however, that would be another story. Due to the short supply of medic-nins and her unusual summons- which would be a military advantage for Konoha's armed forces if they turn out to be effective for combat and offensive use- the woman would be gladly accepted into the shinobi ranks. The Sandaime may even go so far as promote her himself to speed up the process and make herself useful for the village. But until then, the two ANBU assigned to keep watch over her must make sure she passes the preliminary requisites that would be the first step of proving her loyalty to this village. That is: not be a spy.

The cat-masked operative took a good look into the apartment as a fine mist slowly disappeared inside, revealing a long haired man in traditional clothing. The woman must have used a summoning jutsu because the sigils were still apparent on the floor below the man that had appeared. Both ANBU noted that the woman summoned a man instead of a dragon, which is different to what she had told them before. It seems that a silencing jutsu was also used because neither could hear what the two figures inside were speaking about. Just before the other ANBU leapt off to inform the Hokage of what they've seen, the one in a cat-mask raised their hand to tell them to halt and nodded their head towards the woman and the man. The woman had been bowing on the floor but had looked up at what the man had said. Soon after, he dissipated into a fine mist while the woman continued to look on towards where the man stood.

After that, the two ANBU chose to head off and give their reports to the Hokage. 

* * *

 Ryuujin-sama seemed to stand behind me because of the way that his voice spoke so closely to my ear, however the actual dragon-man stood off at the pier, looking towards the sunset.  "Tell me what is troubling you, Hinowa-hime." He said softly. In my mindspace, I have complete control over what can happen from the scenery to the form that I take. Usually though, the space takes up the look of this beach. I think I had been here once as a child and it had somehow engraved itself into my memory. Subconscious thoughts and desires certainly do play a role in how we perceive the world around us.

"I'm lost." I said, a little breathlessly. My grief followed me all the way here it seems.

"Do you wish to be found?"

"I think so." I blinked. Then the scenery changes to one where there is a _sukiya zukuri_ , a traditional Japanese styled home, in front of me and I can feel Ryuujin-sama's warmth off my back. Faint recognition sets in as I look around until I realize that we were standing in front of the main house of the Tatsuya clan compound.

"Why are we here, Ryuujin-sama?"

"You said you were lost, Hinowa-hime. The best way to find something is to go back to the beginning. This is where you began. You can retrace your steps here up to the point where you you feel you have become lost." The taller man's voice was deep and seemed to undulate like the waves on the shore we had previously stood on. His words held merit, though I had to ask myself: When did I become lost? When did I lose my sense of self, my belonging?

The world around us shifts in a flurry, changing again. This time the sun is setting once more behind the rigid peaks of Iwa's mountain. I was standing on a pool of blood and through the reflection, I could see that Ryuujin-sama was standing in front of me. When I looked up however, he wasn't there. I turned my head around to look but he was nowhere to be found.

Once more his voice seemed to echo between my ears, as if he was behind me, in front of me, all around me despite his physical presence being absent.

"Do you see now, Hinowa-hime?"

I looked back at the reflection below me, however this time the dragon-man wasn't there. Just me. I stared hard at my own countenance, the features in my face, the wisps of my hair.

I looked like I had in my previous world, when I was 34 years old and with Kakashi. My mouth formed a thin line as I thought that though I left my previous world behind and my outward appearance has changed, I am still the same. On the inside, I haven't changed. I know my name, my identity, and that my existence is _real_.

In a voice just above a whisper, I answered Ryuujin-sama, "This is who I am."

"And who you will continue to be," I felt covered arms wrap around my waist and I sighed as I leaned back onto Ryuujin-sama's chest. These gestures were completely platonic, both of us were mature enough to know that there were times where physical comfort was needed. For a shinobi, physical sensations made up our entirety and could bring death, or comfort like this.

"You will continue to be who you always have been. This new world may have stripped us of many things, but they have not taken away your psyche. All is not lost, the people you have known may be different, they may change as this timeline progresses, but that does not mean you cannot salvage past relationships. There must be some remnants of those you left behind in this world and how you act upon that is your own choice."

I felt the rumble in Ryuujin-sama's chest as he spoke to me, his voice and advice providing a much needed anchor. Besides Kakashi, Ryuujin-sama would always know how to ground me and clear my mind. Like many times in the past I felt so, so grateful to have my summons in my life...lives.

"How will I know what to do? Who do I decide that gets to live or die? With the information that I know of, it'll be impossible to live a life guilt-free." I murmured. I have the chance to be able to save people who were trapped by their situations. I also wield the power to condemn those to die.

"Whether you choose to act or not act will bear its own consequences. Reflect on your previous life, that itself was riddled with acts and choices that have brought down guilt, yet you still found happiness. It would be best to take each milestone one at a time, haste will do no one any good," The strength in his words gave me confidence to believe that I will make the right choice. "And attempting to shoulder the burden of creating change for a better future will lead to an inevitable _ruin_."

As he finished his cryptic warning, the scene around us blurred once more. When I blinked, I found myself still on my knees and alone in the apartment I had been given. A small sigh left my lips as I stood up and headed back into the kitchen to get another glass of water before heading to sleep.

* * *

I've been in Konoha for two weeks now. My apartment isn't so bare, I've managed to buy some civilian clothing with some money I had "borrowed" (mainly from Gai, jounin's get paid the big bucks so I didn't feel that bad), and I haven't run into Kakashi again at all since then. Don't know if I genuinely feel good about that last thing however.  
  
I had just thought about buying a plant from the Yamanaka's flower shop to have something to care for- no pets, apartment rules- while I'm idling about until I can apply for a rank.  _Maybe by the end of this week_ , I thought as I slipped on some flats and head out the door. I checked the seal that Gai helped put on my door before leaving (though that "help" came in the form of walking into a ninja store I couldn't shop at and buying the damn seal for me). Seeing as everything was in order, I began my journey to the quaint flower shop near the civilian districts.

The pale yellow shop boasted a a large sign that said  _Yamanaka Flowers_ in large, red font. I looked inside one of the large windows to see the various flower arrangements on display for passing customers. With a smile, I walked in.

"Hello, I'm Ino! Can I help you with anything?" The blonde girl happily chirped at me as I entered the shop. Ino was a girl I didn't know much of until she had taken an interest in medical ninjustsu where I then found out that she was an enthusiastic person who knew exactly what she wanted. I've always admired that sense of self-confidence in her, even when she came off a bit too strong at times.

The blonde woman who I had met while teaching some basic medical ninjutsu however, was now a cute, little girl with an air of innocence around her.

 _I've never really noticed it back then, granted I had recently become a jounin around this time, but the people who will one day lead this village are so adorable as children_ , my maternal instincts had me cooing in my head. Hopefully I wasn't making some weird face at Ino, don't want to be kicked out of the only shinobi-owned flower business in Konoha.

"Actually, I was looking for something that I can tend and raise that will also be able to take care of itself for long periods of time." I asked. In my previous world, me and Kakashi had two cactuses named Momo and Mimi but both had somehow died while in our care. Hopefully, I can do it better this time around.

"Yeah I can definitely find something for you!" The little girl replied. She turned her head towards the person behind her who had a very distinct pink head of hair. "Sakura! Remember that plant I showed you earlier?"

Sakura blinked towards Ino until her face lit up in recognition. "This one, right?" She said as she reached for a potted plant sitting on the table beside her.

 _These two are still friends? Or perhaps they've already made up?_ , I thought as I questioned these two's relationship. Sakura had told me once, in my previous world, how she and Ino had a major falling out until they made up after the chuunin exams. Could it be that because I did not "exist" they had stayed friends? Was it even possible for my existence to affect these two in such a way? I felt even more questions rise up in my head until Ino spoke up once again.

"Uh-huh, that one!" She confirmed. Sakura handed her the plant which Ino then held out to show me. "This here is a desert rose!"

The plant had flowers that bloomed with varying shades of pink and fuschia, hiding the pale green leaves behind each flower. Its greenish-grey roots gnarled at the base of the plant, making it seem as if it was made of a fusion of multiple different plants.

 

 

> Ino continued speaking as I took the plant off her hands, "The desert rose is similar to cactuses because they don't need a lot of water. However! They need a lot of sunlight so make sure to put them near a window! Oh, and just as the name implies, the flowers are a beautiful red like a rose!"

From the back I could hear Sakura grumbling that they were a beautiful  _pink_ , not red.

Ino then stared up at me with big, sea foam green eyes that seemed to ask me,  _So? Do you love it or do you LOVE it?!_

I blinked twice at the desert rose in my hands and then once at the girl beaming up at me, "It's," Ino and Sakura leaned in closer, "...fantastic! Just what I was looking for, thank you."

Both girls were delighted at my words and spoke their respectives "All right!" and "Cha!".

Smiling widely at the both of them myself, I couldn't help but be thankful that these two were lively and happy, just as children should be. I didn't realize how much I should have appreciated those who were like these two young girls, that not everyone had a tragic childhood filled with trauma. Not everyone needed some savior or needed to be fixed. Bright moments like these were what made Konoha known as the kindest shinobi village in all The Five Great Nations. It's the reason why I would lay down my life for this village.

Paying for the plant and having it wrapped up by Ino- which Sakura then tied a pink ribbon on of the smaller branches- I was headed towards the entrance with the large plastic bag between my arms when Ino yelled out, "By the way, miss, I'm Yamanaka Ino! I haven't seen you 'round, sorry for not introducing myself earlier!"

Sakura also added sheepishly, "Um, uh, I'm Haruno Sakura. Nice to meet you..again." She blushed as she looked away. And dammit, these girls are too cute! I can't wait to tease them about how innocent they were as children...when they grow up. And they will grow up, to a future that they deserve. I'll make sure of it.

"My name is Tatsuya Hinowa, but call me Hinowa. And you're right, Ino, I'm pretty new to the village. I'm actually a kunoichi, so I hope I can see you two again soon." I added. Then I bade them goodbye with a short wave and left the shop.

"...How did she know we were kunoichi too?' Ino asked after a few beats of silence.

"Duh! She saw our headbands, Ino-pig!" Retorted Sakura.

Ino then glared comically at her pink haired friend, "Really? I could've sworn she was just looking at that forehead of yours, Forehead!"

Sakura flared a vein on said forehead before butting heads with Ino, "Oh so you wanna use fighting words, haa?"

* * *

 When I returned home with new plant in hand, I checked the seals again and opened the door. I had only wanted to drop the desert rose off and go back out to find something to eat for lunch. Unwrapping the plant and pulling out a stool from the dining room, I ambled over towards the fairly large window in my living room. With one hand, I placed the stool right up next to the curtain-less windows and with the other, I put the plant right on top of the stool.

 _That should do it_ , I thought with a grin.

"You're not gonna die on me, you hear? In fact, I'm gonna name you  _Sei_ , life. So keep on living, alright? For me?" I whispered at the potted flower. I stroked the dainty, pink ribbon on its branch with a finger as I spoke. I heard it was good to talk to your plants every once in a while.

With one final look at Sei, I turned around and headed for the door once more.

* * *

 There was one place in mind that I had wanted to go to eat lunch at. With its red colored lettering, great service and delicious food, I couldn't resist wanting to eat at that place. It was a local, family-owned business to boot.

 _Ramen Ichiraku_ was a favorite for all kinds of people, from the average civilian to the most eccentric shinobi, you could find them lounging and eating inside the shop. The place had an aura that just attracted multitudes of people.

As I pushed back the flap that also doubled as the shop's main sign, I noticed a certain orange-clad boy chugging down a bowl of ramen by himself. He was eating so quickly that some broth started to drip down to his clothes.  _Always have been messy, always will be_ , I thought as I also recounted how in my previous world, the boy was a Hokage known for his disorganized paperwork. Shaking my head at those memories, I sat next to Naruto and grabbed some tissues out of the tissue dispenser on the table.

"Looks like you'll be needing this, Na-ru-to-kun." I said smugly with a small smile.

The boy choked a bit on his ramen, a bit surprised at someone talking to him, but then put down the bowl to look at the speaker. With a loud gasp, he sputtered, "H-H-Hinowa-chan! Don't scare someone like that! You're almost as bad as Kaka-sensei!"

My smile faltered a bit as he brought up  _his_ name. Back in the original world, Naruto would also complain about how Kakashi and I were similar in all the "bad ways" as he'd say: we sneaked up on people, made lewd jokes (Kakashi more often than not) and told lies with a smile on our faces- white lies, albeit, but still lies. We both shared similar habits because we've spent a lot of time together, and we were _married_ , but it seems we were similar people on the most fundamental level. Perhaps that was why we got along so great despite our outward appearances. Though I genuinely hoped I wouldn't come off too similar to Kakashi in this world, as to avoid suspicion, but it seems some habits were too hard to break.

I swallowed my sudden anxiety down to focus back on Naruto who was red-faced and had bits of ramen all over him, "Sorry," I laughed. "I thought big, tough ninja like you would be able to sense me coming."

"Not when I wasn't ready! You caught me at a bad time, I was eatin'!" He whined.

I continued to tease him just a bit more, "So when _is_ a good time then, huh?" Naruto's eyebrows shot straight up as he blushed even harder. He looked ready to pass out and I was laughing into my hands at the sight.

We continued to speak after I ordered from Teuchi-san- who unfortunately, just like everyone else, does not know me. I had to reintroduce myself to him and his daughter, Ayame. Me and Naruto's conversation mainly consisted of me asking what "ninja things" Naruto liked to do and he would go off on tangents that would go on until he was out of breath. Just as what Ryuujin-sama had said, it really wasn't impossible for me to regain these relationships with these people.

When we finished I paid for both our meals- what kind of adult would let a kid pay for a meal, not a good one that's for sure- and then we thanked Teuchi-san and Ayame and ducked out under the same flap from earlier. Once out on the street, Naruto suddenly stilled beside me and I questioned him with a look out of the corner of my eye.

"Ehh, thanks...Hinowa-chan. For stayin' and eatin' with me, I mean. Not a lot of people do that but, uh, thanks." He said with eyes that were downcast and a bit distant.

I had almost forgotten how Naruto was treated as the village pariah because of his jinchuuriki status and chided myself for being so stupid.  _Of course_ he would be flustered when a stranger suddenly wanted to speak with him and eat a meal together. Naruto had all the right to ignore me or chase me away though, since some people of this village were capable of lying and hurting this child, but instead, he welcomed me with open arms and a radiant smile. The boy had a knack for seeing the good in others.

 _This was yet another thing I wanted to protect_ , I thought with a grim determination. To protect Naruto's happiness would mean a lot of hard work and sacrifice. Something I would have to give even more thought to when I get home later.

I placed a careful hand on the boy's slender shoulder, "It was  _my_ pleasure, Naruto. Thank you for staying and eating with me, as well as telling me all about your amazing stories."

Shiny, azure eyes bolted towards my face, "Y-you mean that?" He said with a face of disbelief.

"Believe it." I echoed Naruto's own signature line back at him. In return, a smile that glowed with such dazzling glee twinkled at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rookie 9 kids are so cute despite all their own personal shortcomings. They're children, of course they aren't fully matured as proper, functional adults. Hell, Kakashi isn't even a proper, functional adult, let's face it haha.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for all the support on this story! I've been working hard on making longer chapters that aren't /just/ Hinowa's character development, sorry '^0^


	6. Genin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I realized that the world did not exist for my benefit. It followed that the ratio of pleasant and unpleasant things around me would not change. It wasn't up to me. It was clear that the best thing to do was to adopt a sort of muddled cheerfulness.”  
> ― Banana Yoshimoto, Kitchen

I really needed to get a rank and soon. The "borrowed" money I had asked from Gai (with fluttery lashes and some ass kissing) was running out and I was growing anxious with my upcoming plans which involved, believe it or not, actually being a ninja. Besides all of that, I was all jittery from not being in any action in so long and not being able to train. Ugh.

I was currently leaning on the window sill with Sei on the stool beside me. The sun's early morning rays had just begun to reach through the glass and land on our faces. I am, and always will be, a morning person but what's there to do in the morning if you can't even afford to buy coffee? _Ugh_.

"Sei, this whole immigrant-slash-civilian lifestyle really isn't cutting it for me," I said with a shake of my head. "I want a coffee, a mission, _and_ my husband back." I whined. I threw my head back as I dragged out the "baaaaaack" to further emphasize how needy I was today. And how bored. I was talking to Sei, my plant, yet again but it beats looking for Gai and engaging in conversation with him. I loved that bowl-cut haired man, I do, but even Buddha runs out of patience after hearing "youthful" enough times.

A slight wind slips through the opening in the window and causes Sei's branches to rustle a bit, the pink ribbon waving in the air catches my attention. "Okay, okay I'll stop whining and just get on with it." I said with a sigh. I was already dressed but had wanted to mope around a bit before seeing Hiruzen again.

_It's now or never._

As I put my shoes on and leave for the door, Sei's ribbon waves again and I catch a flash of pink as the door closes.

* * *

 _Redundant_ , is the word that comes to mind as I fill out a form that looked exactly like the one I filled out in the hospital. It might actually be the same form but labelled "Konoha Shinobi Registration" instead of "Konoha Patient Registration" at the top. I sigh as I fought back the urge to roll my eyes. Personally, I hated paperwork but at least I wasn't like Kakashi. I turned in my things on time, albeit with a grumble.

"Thank you. Hokage-sama will be waiting for you in his office." The man in the front desk said to me after I turned in the form. I nodded my thanks and walked towards the Hokage's office room briskly.

"Good morning, Hinowa-san. I take it you wish to apply for a rank now?" Hiruzen greeted me as I entered the office.

"Ah, good morning to you too, Hokage-sama. And yes, actually I was hoping that it wasn't too early to apply for genin?' It was a little embarrassing to say it aloud since I had gone through this process once already- though with fellow classmates- and that I was, and still, am an elite jounin. Weird to be tested for something that I already had the skills to do, but this is just all the nitty gritty things I'll have to do first, I guess.

Hiruzen gave me a pleasant smile before taking a sip of his morning tea, "No, no it's fine. I'm sure someone of your caliber was itching to get back to using her summons and medical ninjutsu." He said after the drink. His face still held that smile but knowing him like I do, there was a bit of accusation in his tone. _Why? What do you know, Hiruzen?_ , I wished I didn't have to hide things from him but as it stands, he is the most immediate danger to my wellbeing. _Funny how the people you once were able to confide everything to turn out to be the ones you have to hide everything from_ , I thought bitterly.

"Anyhow, I assume you've filled out the proper paperwork?" I nodded my head. "Normally you'd have to go through some training in the academy, then be tested by one of the chuunin senseis there but...As it stands, why don't you show me some basic exercises and I'll just decide on your promotion right here?"

Hiruzen knew he was taking a risk by promoting a village stranger to genin so soon, but the lack of medic-nins and the upcoming chuunin exams called for drastic measures. It might have been cruel to use her as something to show off to the other hidden villages- with her rare summons and all- but intimidation was a tactic that all nations employed. Besides, the young lady would then have to go through the proper exams to be promoted again if she wished at which then the chuunin exams will truly show what she is capable of. There was also that niggling suspicion of the inconsistency with her summons...

"That sounds perfect for me, Hokage-sama." I smiled back at him. I guess I was lucky since I didn't have to bear even more humiliation of having to go to class with a bunch of ten year olds, but I didn't miss the fact that it was strange for him to be promoting me so easily. Perhaps he had something else in mind?

"Let us start then. I'd like to see a clone technique, another summon, and wall walking, please." Hiruzen asked. With a nod I put my hands together to make the hand signs for a clone.

"Bunshin no jutsu!" A small plume of smoke dissipated and revealed an identical copy to myself. The clone was a simple one, any jounin and even chuunin wouldn't be fooled into thinking it was actually me. I could have even made a shadow clone but as they say, don't show all the tricks up your sleeve just yet. 

Hiruzen gave his nod at approval as I continued on to the next thing. The clone poofed away while I bit my thumb and called out, "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

Instead of Mushu however, I had called for Ryuujin-sama because he was the only other dragon that would fit inside the office's walls. At least, while he's still in human form.

"Sorry, Ryuujin-sama, I needed to summon you to pass my, _ahem_ , genin test." I whispered to the dragon man after he appeared and gave me a questioning stare. For some reason, the air had filled with a bit of Killing Intent and it brought both our hackles up.

"You say you only summon dragons yet what you bring out is a man. Explain." Hiruzen commanded, his eyes suddenly lost the cheeriness it once held and had replaced it with steely hardness. _Oh_ , this was why the ANBU were on edge. They thought Ryuujin-sama was not a dragon but some kind of threat. Or backup I had brought to, I don't know, overthrow the Hokage like some evil mastermind.  _Ha_ , I thought a little sardonically.

"I apologize, Hokage-sama! Ryuujin-sama here is actually a dragon but he also holds a special ability that allows him to take on a human form. I'd gladly show you his original form but I'm afraid he would burst through the tower's walls just from his sheer size. I promise you that I wasn't lying when I said I summon dragons, _just_ dragons." I pleaded.

A few beats of tension passed through us as Hiruzen and Ryuujin-sama stared each other down in a mild look of a challenge. It's hard when two beings of high power meet. Finally, both looked away with a sigh. "I see... Next time, a bit of forewarning would help your case, Hinowa-san." Hiruzen said as the ANBU's Killing Intent slowly creeped away.

"I'll keep that in mind, Hokage-sama," I replied. Ryuujin-sama nodded in his own acceptance and stayed since I made no move to send him away. "I'm going to demonstrate my wall walking now."

I headed to the left side wall and focused the chakra in my feet. It was a simple thing that I haven't even consciously thought of for years but being under someone's scrutiny made me hesitate to take my first step. After I had placed one foot on the wall however, I continued walking until I was about three-fourths up the wall.

"Very nice." Hiruzen commented. Ryuujin-sama gave a short grunt in approval as well. Both nodded at me, their figures completely horizontal, as I hopped off the wall.

"Well, that concludes that then!" Hiruzen announced. He opened his desk and dug around a bit until he pulled out a familiar black band with adorning silver. I smiled giddily. 

"Congratulations, Tatsuya Hinowa of the Land of Tea," I blushed at the formal name. "As Hokage, I entrust this headband to you to signify that you are now a ninja of Konohagakure and that you will swear your loyalty to this village. By taking this headband, you are taking on the Will of Fire, the belief that love is the key to peace. Do you swear, then, to love this village and strive for peace?"

"I swear." I answered with certainty. The Will of Fire was something that I  _knew_ I held and believed in. It was something that encompassed all that I stood for since I wanted nothing more than peace and happiness for those I loved.

"Then I hereby call you a genin of the Leaf! You may now wear this headband proudly." Hiruzen held out the headband to me with a genuine smile this time. Off to the side, Ryuujin-sama gave his own smile as pride danced in his ocean-blue eyes. It mirrored the same look he had when I had become a genin the first time around.

I accepted the headband and tied it on my head, making the metal glint off the top of my scalp like a silver crown. I forgot how envigorating it felt when I first passed the genin test. This is actually the first time I felt so validated in this world, like Tatsuya Hinowa isn't some nobody, she's here and she belongs to Konoha. I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped my lips as I played with a dark strand of hair.  _Today is a good day_ , I thought sincerely.

But like most good things, they all come to an end. From outside the heavy, wooden doors I felt the familiar, cool chakra that reminded me of stormy nights and metal. Hatake Kakashi was standing just outside those doors and I had a bad feeling I know what for. Genins just can't be left alone to their own devices, right? They need someone there to instruct them on how the ninja world works. Someone like, say, a jounin sensei would be perfect for that.

"Now that you are a certified genin, Hinowa-san, you must be placed in a team led by a jounin sensei, as per the rules." As Hiruzen said those words I was angrily cursing whoever made those rules to the grave. "I'm sure you'd like someone who you are familiar with, so I reached out for the help from one Hatake Kakashi."

"Ehem, actually I wouldn't mind waiting until someone else decides to want to take me on their team. I really don't mind." I tried to back out from this arrangement awkwardly.

"I assure you, Kakashi-san is one of our most reliable jounins in the village," I could hear Ryuujin-sama snort in my thoughts. "And I've cleared it with him beforehand. In fact, why don't we just bring him in since he's part of this conversation."

Right on cue, the doors open to reveal a slouched man with gravity-defying hair and a facial expression that just screamed, _I'm only here because I've got to be_.

 _Great, he doesn't even want to see me..._ , I thought sadly. _  
_

_He truly is the clueless man you said him to be. I can sense no recognition from his countenance_ , added Ryuujin-sama. I wasn't up to retorting back at him about how I didn't say Kakashi was clueless, just that he didn't know who I was. So I continued to look at the jounin who strode with a cat's lazy elegance into the room.

"Yo." He said in greeting.

"Kakashi, I had asked you earlier if you were willing to take on another genin for Team 7. I'm sure you were able to surmise that that genin would be Hinowa-san, who had just been handed her headband just a few moments ago," Ouch, just rub in how much of a newbie I am, Hiruzen. "I've only opened up the possibility to you without needing to hear a reply. But now that she's here, and in need of a jounin sensei, I'd like to hear your response on the offer." When Hiruzen finished speaking, Kakashi turned his eyes on me and assessed me top to bottom. I fought back a blush as his eyes were on me, it was  _highly_ inappropriate to be thinking of anything lewd right now.

"You want to get her ready for the Chuunin Exams, huh?" The silver haired jounin said after looking at me. So that's why Hiruzen promoted me personally. The Chuunin Exams were coming up and I could be properly promoted and shown off to visiting villages then. I felt a slight burn of hurt at the reason, but that didn't deter me much. I knew I couldn't go around thinking people were going to give me special treatment because I  _once_ held a relationship with them in a world they don't know about. I had to face the facts and know people's intentions for helping a stranger like me. Knowing this wouldn't stop the feelings of hurt and betrayal, however.

"Hm, to put it bluntly, yes. Hinowa-san, if you don't know, the Chuunin Exams is scheduled about two weeks from now. If you truly do feel uncomfortable with the arrangement, just know it will be a short one." As he finished I couldn't tell if that ending remark was meant for me or Kakashi. Probably both.

I risked a glance at the jounin beside me. As usual, his masked face betrayed nothing but I knew he was being a bit apprehensive to all of this. It had taken a lot just to get him to teach three genin students but now four? He hadn't even wanted to be a jounin sensei in the first place, he once told me. For me, though, I didn't mind so much being in a five-man genin team but that being in near proximity with Kakashi would hurt me emotionally. Some part of me rejoiced at the idea of getting closer to him, nonetheless.

"It is...acceptable. But I do have to say, Hinowa-san, seeing as you are a full grown woman and  _not_ a child I expect you to be able to at least make rational decisions and have common sense." He nodded to my direction.

Kakashi thought about what it would mean to take on another genin in his team. Would the team dynamics change? Would this woman and the children get along? For a brief moment, he'd thought about that one scene in Icha Icha where the main character had brought home his girlfriend and his children rebelled against both of them. It would be kind of a similar situation, except he and Hinowa-san didn't have any kind of relationship- unless acquaintances count- and he was sure he'd never have any children of his own. But Hiruzen was right, he would only have to deal with her for two weeks and when she graduates- which she better, since no one has summons  _and_ medical ninjutsu down to be some mediocre genin- she'd be somebody else's problem. It also helped that the woman interested him a bit. She seemed at ease with everyone in the village and even got along with Gai, which meant she was a decent person at the very least.

"Of course, Hatake-san. I will do my best to help your team in any way I can." I nodded back. Once I'm able to train again, I'll be able to get myself back to full strength just in time for the Chuunin Exams.

"I'm glad to see everything's decided! If you have any further questions, Hinowa-san, please don't hesitate to ask." Hiruzen smiled at me again. I took his words as a cue that I was now allowed to leave so I bade both men goodbye. As Ryuujin-sama and I walked out the door, I didn't fail to notice that Kakashi had stayed back to speak with Hiruzen.

* * *

"So tell me the real reason you wanted me to be her jounin sensei, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked as he watched the door close. It couldn't be just for familiarity's sake, after all.

"Ah, straight to the point as usual Kakashi. You see, I figured you'd be the best suited to watch over her since you were the person who had brought her into the village and escorted her to me."

"If you wanted someone she'd get along with, wouldn't Gai have been a better choice?" The green-clad man had told Kakashi how Hinowa had apparently "borrowed" money after asking "oh, so kindly".

"Not only that, I'd wanted someone who will be able to nurture her skills. Specifically those summons she has. You  _had_ seen the man she claimed was actually a dragon, yes?" Kakashi nodded. He overheard the entire conversation from outside the Hokage's office walls. It was strange how her summon seemed to want to take on a human form, he had noted.

"Since you have a summoning contract yourself, I expect you'd be able to train her on her use of dragons. At the same time, continue gathering intelligence and report back anything noteworthy. When my ANBU had told me about her summons, I'd been on guard but after this meeting, it truly does seem she means no harm."

Kakashi's face grew serious, "Yes, Hokage-sama, but we cannot overlook any possible threats just from  _outward_ appearances."

"Of course, of course. Now, go on and make sure she's prepared for the exams."

With a brisk nod, the jounin bowed and flickered off, leaving the old man alone with a weary sigh.

* * *

I hadn't really known  _when_ exactly to meet up with Team 7 for our first meeting but I assumed the earlier, the better. Which was why I was out in the third training ground at around 6 AM by myself. I had remembered how Kakashi liked to train them here and coming early was to make sure I wouldn't miss anything. I didn't want my first impression on everyone to be like Kakashi's: **late**.

I started some basic stretches to warm myself up before moving on to do some push-ups and crunches. Building up your fundamentals with strength training was a must for all shinobi. Though I had particularly didn't enjoy it much, I knew that a conditioned ninja, was a good one. Even Kakashi shared these sentiments, I knew him to be all lean muscle from constant training, though you'd never know just how much work he puts in just from a first glance at him. 

With a small huff I picked myself up from the ground and got ready to do some laps around the training ground. As I got about ten meters in it I saw a certain duck, _dark_ , haired boy approach the clearing. I slowed myself down to a halt and raised my hand as some kind of faux wave at him.

"Hn." Was all I got as recognition.

 _Ah, that's right. Sasuke was dark and broody even before he defected from the village_ , I thought as I headed over to where he was leaning against the trees.

"I've already introduced myself to you, don't you think you should do the same?" I asked. Sasuke just gave me a suspicious look before rolling his eyes. What a brat!

"Uchiha Sasuke. What are you doing here?"

I smirked a little at his snobbish tone, "I'm going to part of your team, actually. At least, until I'm able to get promoted again."

"What? Don't be stupid, Team 7 is a four-man squad made of one jounin and three genins." He hissed.  _Damn am I glad that I only ever interacted with Sasuke when he was actually an adult. Thank the gods that I didn't know Kakashi then or I bet he'd sick his shitty kids on me_ , I rolled my own eyes in thought.

"A genin squad could always be made into a larger group and I am a genin. Just like you. If you'd like to confirm this then ask your sensei." I added. I went back to my laps with a twitch in my eyebrow. Honestly, I shouldn't be picking fights with children (especially those who would be one, big troublesome case later) but if you don't stand up for yourself, who _will_ right? I could faintly hear Sasuke's grumble about how he won't be able to ask until much later since "Kakashi-sensei is always damn late".

After Sasuke's arrival, it was Sakura who appeared about twenty minutes later. She looked girlish and carried a small smile but outright grinned when she saw Sasuke. Just as she was about to head over to him she caught sight of me and instead went to talk to me. I had finished my third lap and was taking a sip of water.

"Good morning, Hinowa-san! Um, are you here to do some training?"

"Morning, Sakura-chan," I said back with a smile. The pink haired girl was much needed relief from the darker boy's constant gloominess. "I'm sure Kakashi-san is going to tell you later but I'm going to be tagging along with your team for the time being. See, I got my genin rank recently and was placed with you guys."

"Really!? I mean, wow, I didn't know you were a kunoichi but I guess you did hint me the other day about seeing me soon! It's gonna be great since I won't be the only girl in the group now!" I laughed at her brightness despite it being so early in the morning. Or actually, it was 7 AM but I knew for sure that Kakashi wouldn't show up until later on towards 8 or 9.

After our little talk, I watched Sakura move to Sasuke and try to initiate conversation with him. I shook my head at how she was obviously wasting her breath for someone who didn't even want to talk with her.  _Sigh_.

Though I had to give it to her, she was determined. I even thought back to how I was when I had first started developing feelings for a certain silver haired jounin. I guess I was a little forward too, but only as much as other jounins would ever show. In fact, the most I tried to get Kakashi's attention was when there was a small gathering of jounins at the mission's desk and the Hokage had asked if anyone would take a short, A-ranked mission with Kakashi. I had instantly volunteered with a gruff raise of a hand which got me a few looks and a leer from Gai that day. I was thoroughly embarrassed since I was certain everyone knew of my "reservations" for Kakashi but I didn't care since I was able to spend some time with him.

Just as 8 rolled over, a blonde loudmouth came storming into training ground three.

"Hey guys! Kaka-sensei isn't even here yet is he, that lazy bastard!" He yelled out at no one in particular. I could see Sasuke's growing irritation and how Sakura was lifting up her fist at Naruto.

Before she could hit him though he caught sight of me just as Sakura's swing flew past him, "Oh, Hinowa-chan! Is that you? What're you doing here, you do know that Team 7 practices around these grounds, right?"

"Shut. up. Naruto! First off, you're way too loud! I bet the entire forest could hear you! Second, of course Hinowa-san wouldn't know we practiced here since she's new to the village!" Sakura flamed at him. Naruto only sweatdropped in response.

"Oh yeah, haha, that's right...Wait! So why  _are_ you here, Hinowa-chan?" He recovered.

"I'm going to be part of Team 7 for the time being." I answered with a closed-eyed smile, mimicking Kakashi's own eye crinkle. I think I could sense the three children's shiver at the sight.

"Righhhht...Hold on! That means, you're a ninja!" He accused, finger pointing at me. Sakura immediately bonked him in the head while scolding him for pointing at people.

"Yes, you're right, Na-ru-to-kun. I am a kunoichi. Just a genin, though, so I have to be on a team lead by a jounin-sensei. I hope we can all get along." I said. It was probably all in vain seeing how our first meeting went: with me bloodied and bruised and them too young and highly impressionable. I knew from my previous life that Team 7 carried a bond so strong that they would all lay down their lives for each other but I didn't really see myself fitting into the picture. I was like a background character to their main stories, only brought up when Kakashi was around. The sooner I can get to chuunin, the better. Which reminds me, I needed to start solidifying my plans on what to do during Sound and Sand's invasion during the Chuunin Exams.

Naruto was too preoccupied being scolded by Sakura to further question me so I turned away to do some simple chakra exercises. By the time 9 AM came by, Kakashi finally appeared in a poof of smoke.

"You're late!" Naruto growled out at him.

"Sorry, I got lost on the road to life." Kakashi replied with that eye smile of his, totally unapologetic.

Then he opened his eye and looked at me with feigned surprise- men like Kakashi don't get surprised when they already knew I'd be there, especially if they could sense my chakra without even needing to know I was joining his team.

 

> "Well, hello and good morning, Hinowa-san." I answered his greeting with a terse nod. I kept my feelings and expressions in check but I couldn't deny how cute his "surprised" face was, even when fake.

"Okay team, this is Tatsuya Hinowa. I'm sure you all remember her," There were nods and a  _yeah!_ from the crowd. "From now on, she'll be a part of Team 7. Get along now."

"Why?" Sasuke grumbled.

"Hmm? Why, because she is a genin in need of a team. And from now on, she is a part of  _our_ team. Remember what I told you: those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash." He finished. I stared at him solemnly as he said this. Kakashi had always held those beliefs close to him. There were countless times where I've seen him bend and break for his comrades, for those he cared about. For him, those words meant everything. So to see him say those words in regard to me joining the team, _his_ team, I felt a swell of pride rise from inside me.  _  
_

_Damn, being a part of this team is already giving me heart palpitations. Maybe I should've begged to be paired with Gai instead_ , I thought after that swell simmered away.

"And you know what, Sasuke," Said boy flinched at the tone of his sensei. "For today's training, I'm pairing you up with Hinowa-san for the day."

Kakashi smiled.

Sasuke frowned.

Naruto looked lost.

Sakura had her mouth wide open.

And I sighed,  _again_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that Hinowa's character is coming out a bit more since I think she's always seemed really melancholic in the beginning...


	7. Meaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s too bad if a heart lacks fire,  
> and is deprived of the light  
> of a heart ablaze.  
> The day on which you are  
> without passionate love  
> is the most wasted day of your life.”  
> ― Omar Khayyám

Sasuke knew he was a smart child. A prodigy. A genius. The last Uchiha. It was no wonder that he became rookie of the year. In fact, it was his  _duty_ to uphold the Uchiha name.

So why, then, was this no-name, genin woman (hag, more like, she was way too old to start a ninja career in his own personal opinion) stronger than him? She was gaining even more advantage as time wore on during their spar.

It was her who decided to start with taijutsu after parting with their sensei and he should have guessed that she would start off with her most skilled area against him. Hmmph, if she wants to play to one's strengths and weaknesses then he should activate his most notable ability.

After dodging a kick aimed for his head, the Uchiha child triggers his Sharingan. Immediately, his senses are sharper, finer and most importantly, he can react to his opponent's strikes much quicker. Almost as if he could predict what she could do next.

The boy manages to dodge another kick to the head but this time, he sees an opening to her right side. The boy seizes his chance but just as his fist reaches toward her lower right torso, she flashes away while knocking his wrist back with a harsh _Slap!_

 _That really hurt_ , echoes through the boy's mind as he searches across their part of the clearing for the other dark haired woman. It was a mere flick of her wrist but it had been loaded with power, not enough to break bone but will definitely lead to swelling. His crimson eyes catch movement to his far left and just then he raises his arms across his face to block a rough right-hook. Unfortunately, there was enough pressure in that punch to fling the boy back a few meters to a tree behind him. His back bounces off the bark of the tree but he quickly recovers by staggering into a defensive crouch.

* * *

 _That's right, Sasuke should have his Sharingan activated by now_ , I thought as I observed the boy's eyes flood with red. I didn't really know exactly when he got his Sharingan but I assume that it was during their mission in Wave. Despite that mission originally being a C-rank, it had been promoted to an A-rank causing it to be the talk of the rumor mill that ran through the shinobi ranks. Even I was surprised when I had heard that Team 7 had went against Zabuza Momochi, The Demon of the Bloody Mist.

After trading a few blows with the boy, who was pitifully overwhelmed by my barrage of attacks despite me going easy on him, I gave him time to recover from a hit that pushed him into a tree. Admittedly though I had to say that he was doing fairly well considering he was still only a genin and, unbeknownst to him, sparring with a jounin. In combination with his Sharingan, it lets him block easier and see through any upcoming attacks. However, there was one big loophole one can exploit when dealing with a Sharingan user. One that I discovered and tested out with that most recent punch.

"The Sharingan is useless if you cannot act fast enough to evade or counter your opponent's attack. The best thing left for you to do is just block." I called out from the branch I was crouching on, on the other side of the clearing. After Sasuke had activated his Sharingan I could tell he knew what I was going to hit him with next, he just wasn't quick enough to do anything about it besides brace for the impact.

"Judging from that look on your face, you know I'm right." I spoke again as I jump down from the tree to stare at him. My own face was deadpanned, a result of being a kunoichi I guess. The boy across from me however, just snarled and came rushing towards me with the intent to jab me with his right fist.

 _Too aggressive. Gets provoked easily. Doesn't recognize when he is outclassed nor when a major weakness of his clan's doujutsu is revealed._  I was taking note of all the little things Sasuke would need to work on to get better. I wondered how he managed to become so strong when the boy charging at me seemed relatively harmless. Was his desire for revenge and hatred what had made him become so powerful? In my previous world, I had cowered a little when I had seen the Uchiha's strength. It was a bit hard to believe that this  _child_ would grow up to be a monster that once wanted to destroy Konoha. Knowing that Sasuke eventually returns to his senses later on does nothing to soothe the disassociation of what this boy had been.

Maybe I could stop him. He defects from the village soon after the Chuunin Exams. I could stop him from turning against this village and perhaps show him that he won't find what he's looking for outside these walls.

 _Stupid_ , a voice in my head chides,  _You think you can stop him? Please, as if you have anything to offer to him that would make him stay. He betrayed this village, his home, his team. You think a few words and some hugs will stop this boy? Admit it, you can see the darkness in his eyes even now. You know what he is capable of, what he **will** be capable of._

I will the voice to stop. I've heard enough. It really was stupid of me to think that I could make him stay when his teammates weren't enough to keep him here. And what if I went to someone about it? What would I say, "Sasuke will defect from this village and try to kill us all" or "Please help me stop this boy from leaving, he's hellbent on destruction"? And selfishly I thought about the future consequences of making Sasuke stay: I'd lose my precognition and I wouldn't nearly be as useful, I wouldn't be able to stop the other things I've deemed more urgent. Sasuke and his problems were something that I didn't incorporate much into my own plans.

I tore myself from these thoughts as Sasuke finally nears me with his vicious blows. I easily dodge out of the way, causing him to falter in his steps and almost trip in the space where I had been. His arms were flailing at his sides which give me the perfect opportunity to grab them both and pin them across his back.

"Do you concede?" I asked as I watch the boy huff out an irritated breath.

"Whatever."

* * *

I bested him in our taijustu match and now we were facing off against our ninjutsu skills. Knowing that he would be severely limited to any kind of jutsu (did he even know his elemental affinity?) I kept to basic or C-ranked level jutsus. Right now though, I was scouting the boy out, seeing what he would do.

"Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!" Sasuke yells out. He's only about three meters in front of me when a plume of fire bursts through his mouth and at me. I've seen grander versions of this jutsu by other shinobi, other Uchihas, but I can see the kid's potential. Most genin wouldn't be able to pull this jutsu off let alone anything dangerous with their elemental affinity.

I dodge the flames with ease and land behind him.  _Ram, snake, tiger_. I flit through the hand signs quickly and clones start to appear one by one, surrounding Sasuke in a circle. _  
_

"Shit." I hear the boy curse beneath his breath.

"Kids these days and their language." Me and all my clones say in unison. Really though, was Kakashi the one teaching his team about swear words?

Sasuke cringes at my voice...voices. I can imagine it was a little irritating and loud since there were eight voices that echoed after each other like some kind of broken karaoke machine. Oh well, it could be worse for him.

I make no move as I see him pull his hands near his chest. I wanted to see how he'd get his way out of this one.

_Tiger, ram, monkey, boar, horse, tiger._

The same signs for his earlier technique register in my mind. "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!" He calls out again. Unlike last time, he turns in a circle, allowing his fire to reach all of my clones. I let my clones disappear as Sasuke burns through them until it reaches to me. _Ah, of course he wouldn't be fooled by a simple clone_ , I think as I move out of the way. The flames just left my skin with a warm sensation as I dodged them. His Sharingan would be able to sense who the real me was since the beginning.

We go back and forth a bit more with him doling out his fireballs and me trying to engage in a spar with my water clones. Eventually I see that he's slowing down with the continuous use of his Sharingan and jutsu so I slow the attacks that my clones were returning at him.

"Had enough? There is no shame in forfeiting. In fact it's wise when a ninja knows their own limits." I try to part some of my knowledge on him but the only response I get is a face full of flames.  _They're not as hot as the flames from when we first began, he must really be running low on chakra_ , I think to myself. _  
_

"Fine, stay silent. I guess I have no choice...but to do my most ultimate jutsu!" I yell dramatically. I even paused a bit for added emphasis. I put my hands together in front of my chest with a flair and put on my game-face. Sasuke seems to take my words seriously and crouches down defensively, waiting to see what I would try next. I've only shown him my water clones anyways.

A couple of seconds tick by.

The tension hangs in the air like a shroud.

Sasuke swallows nervously.

"Flash Style: A Thousand Setting Suns in A Most Youthful Manner!" The sky above swirled to look like the background behind Gai whenever he pulls of his 'Nice Guy" pose. I finish the jutsu off with my own rendition of his pose, with a thumbs up and a sparkle in my teeth.

Sasuke all but gapes at my near perfect imitation of a certain Green Beast's likeness.

"This-this is just too ridiculous. What kind of jutsu is that anyway? There's no way that kind of thing exists, it's almost like...almost like a genjutsu!" I could literally see the gears turning through that kid's head as he spoke. When he finally realized that he was in a genjutsu all along, he brought his hands up and shouted, "Kai!".

The world around him washed away, eerily similar to the receding shore Sasuke had seen when he was on that mission at Wave. He didn't have much time to linger on those thoughts though when his anger made him bark out, "That whole time! I was under a genjutsu and I didn't even notice! How?!"

"Maybe if you had some manners I'd tell you, Sasuke." The insufferable woman retorts back. The Uchiha boy can't help but want to snarl at her. He'd been wasting his time trapped in some- albeit complex- genjutsu when he could have been training seriously. Sasuke didn't want to be weak. There were too many reasons for him to  _become_ strong that silly things like Maito Gai's signature pose angered him to no end.

"Just tell me!" He barks out again.

"...Fine. I'm only going to be nice and tell you this since we are on a team,  _together._ You'd probably assumed I was a taijutsu specialist when I had wanted to spar first but the second I had said that was when I started the first layers of my genjutsu. As we moved on to ninjutsu, more layers were added to the point where I felt comfortable enough to do some drastic things," The woman lets out a short snort at that. The boy frowns even deeper. "I was wondering when you'd notice. I thought your Sharingan would have been able to see through it easier, guess not." She said with a shrug.

Sasuke felt like spitting from the bitterness that climbed up his throat because of the way this woman was talking down to him like this. To his family's Sharingan.

"Spar me for real then. I'll show you just what the Sharingan can do." He all but snarls out.

 _Yikes, I didn't think I pushed him this far_ , I thought as I saw the wrinkles and rage fill the child's face. _Child. Sasuke is still a boy_ , I remind myself. He doesn't deserve my scorn for the actions he did not commit. As of this moment, he's just an angry boy left broken and alone due to the crimes of another.

I take a breath before replying to his demand, "No."

"What?! Too afraid, now that I know your tricks?" He sneers.

I wasn't going to fall for his obvious goading, "No, as in I'm not going to spar with you. But," I raise my voice for emphasis. "I do want to help you with your ninjutsu. To be honest, I'm a medic-nin who specializes in genjutsu specifically but I think I can help you."

"Oh yeah? Just what are you gonna teach me, that weird jutsu you showed me earlier?" The boy looks a little skeptical but he's calmed down some. He didn't look like he was frothing at the mouth like some rabid dog at least.  _Note to self: do not act condescendingly towards an Uchiha's Sharingan_.

"I was planning on showing you something that would improve your fire techniques since my own elemental affinity is towards fire."

Across the clearing, a silver haired jounin watches lazily as his newest recruit and the Uchiha train together. So far, he'd been impressed with her use of genjutsu. It looked quite odd seeing how Sasuke was standing there in a daze as Hinowa was doing some pushups and crunches. He had lifted his hitae-ate to confirm that the boy had indeed been put under a genjutsu, not a fairly strong one but complex enough to not be detected by a rookie Sharingan user like Sasuke. When the boy had broken out of it, they exchanged a few words before coming to some sort of agreement.

"Hey Kaka-sensei! You're supposed to be training us, remember!" Naruto shouts from behind him. His fist was up while he was rolling up his sleeve as if he was readying a punch.

"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei! Stop making eyes at Hinowa-san since she's forced to be in a team with _you_! Myeeeh!" Sakura chimes in with a head-vein popping out from her forehead. She finished her sentence while sticking out her tongue at him.

With a sigh, the jounin turns back to the pink-lemonade duo currently berating him, "Maa, maa, I'm coming."

* * *

I reached my hand over to scratch an itch by the side of my nose. Was someone talking about me? Anyways, I've finally gotten Sasuke calm enough to be watching me intently with only slight irritation. It basically counted as a smile when it comes to him.

With no further adieu, I nip my thumb and slam it towards the ground, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

A porcelain white dragon with a mane the color of jade comes rushing out of the summoning cloud. In a quick motion, the dragon swirls around both me and Sasuke before curling up around me affectionately with its head landing below my outstretched hand.

I pet the dragon's head as I greeted him, "Hello, Haku," I notice Sasuke still a bit as I spoke. "I called for Mushu but was he busy?"

"Greetings, Hinowa-hime, and yes, Mushu-sama is attending to some business at the moment." The dragon held the voice of an adolescent boy, around the same age as Sasuke, since Haku was really one of the youngest dragons around.

 _I have been told about the situation we are in. I hope you are doing well_ , Haku projects his thoughts out to me. I continue on petting him in silence as I see shock and awe in Sasuke's face after getting over whatever initial feelings he had from seeing the dragon.

 _I've been trying my best_ , a.k.a. 'not having a mental breakdown except for that one time with Ryuujin-sama but you won't know about that ever',  _Thank you for your concern, Haku_.

"I guess you'll do just fine then," I turn to the boy in front of me. "Sasuke, this is Haku, one of my dragon summons. He, among most of my other summons, are masters of various fire techniques."

Haku regards the boy with sea green orbs, "Hello, my name is Haku. I don't exactly specialize in fire techniques but I will gladly demonstrate what I am capable of at Hinowa-hime's request."

"...I'm Uchiha Sasuke." The boy replies with a bit of hesitance. Haku blinks up at Sasuke with recognition flitting through his eyes.

 _So it really is true then, this world does not know of us_ , Haku asks with a tinge of sadness. I pet him even more to comfort the young dragon.  _Uchiha Sasuke looks much different than what I remember, besides being younger he looks...pudgy and easy to break_.

I almost let out a laugh at Haku's blunt observation of Sasuke. Both youngsters give me a questioning glance. Great, I must've made a weird face from trying not to laugh.

"Woah is that a dragon?!" Comes from a voice that is rapidly approaching us. Just as an orange blur reaches us, Kakashi appears in front of Naruto to hold him back with a palm against the blur's forehead.

"Naruto, Sakura, this is one of Hinowa-san's special attributes: she has a summoning contract with dragons. Meaning that she can bring out dragons to aide her whenever she wants."

"Actually, if the dragons deem my request for them unnecessary or not worth their time, they're free to do as they please." I correct Kakashi. I remembered the first time that I explained to him that the dragons didn't follow me like some kind of pack leader the way his summons do to him. I recalled how I told Kakashi that I summoned Mushu once to burn some paperwork I didn't want to fill out but had been scolded by the red dragon since it was 'important stuff ya can't lose'. Back then and even now the jounin gave me a flat, one-eyed stare.

"They're still better than your doggies, though, Kakashi-sensei. Dragons are way cooler than dog summons!" Sakura had made her way over here as me and Kakashi were speaking apparently and was now standing by Sasuke's side. Kakashi all but stops himself from saying that his ninken were trained hunters and not 'doggies'.

"Can I pet them?" Naruto asks excitedly while Kakashi's hand still rests on his head.

I glance to the side a bit in thought before saying, "Ehm, I was planning on helping Sasuke with his fire techniques but I guess you guys are free to watch or participate if you want."

Naruto, seeing as it wasn't a direct 'no', outstretches his hand and lands it on top of Haku's muzzle. I'm just glad that Haku was calm enough to only twitch at the blonde's sudden movement.

"Greetings, Team 7, I am Haku."

Que respective faces of shock, discomfort, and a blank stare from the pink-lemonade duo, Sasuke, and Kakashi.

"Most summons can speak, just so you know." I say with my own deadpanned face. These kids were young, I get that, but I thought they'd at least know enough about summons. Or perhaps they were just shocked to see a dragon speaking or that said dragon had a kid's voice like them.

Wait. Hold on.

Didn't their mission in Wave involve the death of Zabuza as well as his partner? What was his name again?

 _Haku_.

 _Yes, Hinowa-hime?_ , Haku relays back.

 _No, sorry, I meant the boy that died during their encounter with Zabuza. You both share the same name and I think it's bringing back unpleasant memories for the team_ , I could hear the faint whine coming from the dragon. I patted his mane down to comfort him a bit more. It wasn't his fault he shared the name of a child that supposedly taken a killing blow for the Demon of the Bloody Mist.

"Alright, I'd like to begin so if all of you could stand back a little." I urged them quickly to get rid of the awkward and heavy atmosphere. I caught an appreciative glance from Kakashi as he led the kids away. Shinobi Rule #13: Diffuse the situation before it gets out of hand (or too troublesome).

* * *

Haku lifted himself from the ground to start circling the center of the clearing. His sleek body curled and twisted in the air, almost snake-like. I stood in the center of his circling and faced Team 7.

"It is said in legend that dragons were the original masters of fire. They were the ones to impart the knowledge to wield the flames to the humans. Everything we know about Katon jutsu is thanks to their teaching." 

Haku opens his maw as some of his scales peel off from his body making them glint off the sunlight like snowflakes. His emerald green tail slips through the scales as he passes.

> "Do you know what the first thing was that the dragons taught us about fire?"

Just then, flames erupt from Haku's mouth, spilling out to encompass me in a kind of cyclone of fire. The scales that had previously floated so ephemerally catch on fire and turn into embers that hover just outside the cyclone.

Sakura gasps at the sudden heat that rushes over her. She immediately raises her hand to shield her face from the heat and flames and though she is afraid of it- the fire, the dragon- and is afraid for the dark haired woman trapped inside that inferno, she cannot look away. There was a sort of beauty from the dancing red and orange hues in front of her. She briefly wonders if this is what it feels like to wield fire. She wouldn't know since she can barely pull of any kind of jutsu let alone elemental ones. Inside her heart however, a small spark of desire to become stronger and harness this beauty is born.

Almost as quickly as it had come, the cyclone dies off and tapers into a few flashes of smoldering crimson. The dark haired woman with the golden eyes and steady voice stands exactly where she had been on. She is pristine and untouched, like the fire did not harm her anymore than the passing wind.

"They taught us that fire does not necessarily mean destruction." I answered my own rhetorical question after my short demonstration. Making sure Sasuke, as well as the others, knew that fire wasn't solely used to hurt others was today's first lesson.

"Sasuke," The boy snaps out of his reverie to look up at me. His demeanor is quieted and mild. Perfect. "Come here. You must step into the flames yourself to understand the meaning behind my words." I reach out a hand towards him, palms up and elbow slightly bent. Above me, Haku continues his circling but I can feel a soft hum resonate in my mind from him.

Sasuke blinks up at me like he doesn't fully realize I'm there talking to him. I give him a moment to collect himself, the heat and sheer  _power_ that emanated from a dragon's flames had a sort of quieting effect on many people. I glance towards Kakashi and note that even he had a genuine look of surprise punctuated by the slight parting of his mouth through his mask. His eyes betray nothing and it is that which you can confirm that Kakashi is truly feeling something. His eyes were just as much a mask as the cloth around his lips were.

"Come here, Sasuke." I encourage him further. Finally, the boy takes a few, slow steps towards me, takes my hand and joins me in the middle of the dragon-circle.

Haku opens his mouth and the fire comes out once more, engulfing us completely. Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi wash away in a wave of burning heat and light. From my side, I hear Sasuke gasp as he takes in the view from inside the cyclone. In here, the true lesson of the dragons are taught. In front of us, the flames blended in a mural of greens, blues, purples, oranges, and reds. The sight was utterly breathtaking. I had seen these flames all my life and still I am caught by the glory of it all.

Sasuke finally speaks up, "I understand now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi showed the kids their elemental affinities during the mission in Wave right? I try to make sure things follow the canon timeline as much as possible, but feel free to comment any inconsistencies! 
> 
> Oh and you know how everyone says that Gai must be using some kind of jutsu or genjutsu to pull off his strange aura/background scenery? That's what I had in mind when I wrote "Flash Style: A Thousand Setting Suns in A Most Youthful Manner". I figured since Gai was a flashy person, the jutsu would be categorized under Flash Style jutsus.
> 
> BTW I don't own Haku or Spirited Away! I just really wanted Haku as a dragon summon and to use that fancy gif!


	8. Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was living for one thing only, and that was to confirm my own lack of feeling.”  
> ― Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle
> 
> "I gave up too much   
> Of myself until there  
> Was nothing left,  
> And then you were   
> Gone too because
> 
> Who can love a spectre  
> After all?"  
> ― Could You Ever Live Without

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out my other work, "Am I the Dreamer or the Dream EXTRAS" for more content and fluffy crack about Hinowa and Kakashi's life! It will have all the things that wasn't put into here so go read it if you're interested! Thanks!

Haku closes his jaw and the cyclone dissipates. All that's left is the fluttering remnants of singed scales that would be the only evidence of a fire. The child beside me lets out a shuddering breath and I give him a sidelong stare, "Would you like to learn more, Sasuke?"

"Hn." A nod. I smile back.

"Hatake-sensei," I call out to the jounin away from us. "If you'd approve, I'd like to help Sasuke improve his katon jutsu with my summons." Said jounin looks at me with a strange glint in his eye (wonder? apprehension?) before nodding.

"Sensei, can we train with Hinowa-san, too?" Sakura jumps in, seeing her chance. Her hands are clasped together and she's got the puppy-dog look down to a T. It's scarily similar to the looks she has with the her from my world.

"Gah, Kaka-sensei! Why does _Teme_ get to work with Hinowa-chan all day?" Naruto raises his voice, not wanting to be left out of the conversation let alone more training. "I can learn katon jutsu too, and those dragons are real awesome, dattebayo!"

"Hn." Sasuke scoffs back at whatever Naruto was saying. Almost instantly, the wonder from the earlier demonstration washes away and is replaced by the two boys' fiery competition, Sakura's exasperation, and Kakashi's fond resignation.

From where I stood, just a meter or two away, I can't help but hold up a hand and laugh a bit at Team 7's antics. In this world and in my world, this team just had a special bond with each other that was as loyal as family and as compassionate as comrades. _Right now would be a good moment to take a photo. Especially when they are so young and at peace like this_ , I think.

 _It_ has _been quite a while since we have seen them without the worries of war and battle_ , Haku hums noncommittally. My smile falters minutely (not enough to be picked up by the jounin) at the reminder that this world will face the horrors of my world all the same. That is, unless I do something to change the outcome. Or at least lessen the blow.

Looking back at Team 7 in front of me, I felt the pangs of distance and loneliness once more. In my first world, the original one, I had always felt a gap from the group in front of me; never really a part of it but never really _not_ a part of it. I wasn't in Team 7 but I was one of their member's significant other. There were nights where I wondered how Hinata must have felt, if she felt what I did when she and Naruto finally confessed their feelings for each other.

Now in this world, I still feel that distance but perhaps that gap is even farther this time than it ever has. From the beginning I have been lying to these people. I will have to continue to lie to them and hide from them and never truly be there for them, because my loyalty will always lay with the precious people I had been forced to leave behind. My driving force behind wanting to help the people in this world is in knowing that these people are who my precious people were, before the war and the tragedy, and that they deserve more than the devastation looming ahead of them in the future.

With a haggard sigh, I motioned, "You can all come watch or participate, or whatever. Just do as I say and we might just finish one lesson before sundown."

"Hm, and for a second, Hinowa-san, I thought I was the sensei?" Kakashi adds with a blank face and dull tone. I shake my head at his lame attempt at humor and walk off, _totally_ not catching Naruto's 'That wasn't funny!' or Sakura's tongue sticking out at him or even Sasuke's sarcastic scoff.

Kakashi is left behind in his team's proverbial dust and he wonders why he became a jounin sensei in the first place. Again.

* * *

 "If dragons were the first ones to use fire," Naruto starts excitedly. I have the three preteens gathered around me while Kakashi stood off in a far corner of the training ground reading his literotica.

"Dragons were the first to master fire." I corrected.

"If they mastered fire first," Naruto repeats. "Then how come there aren't more dragons around? Ya know, being fire masters and all that."

The orange clad boy finishes his question with a shrug and from his expression I could tell he was genuinely curious. From behind me, Haku stirs at the mention of dragons.

"Well, dragons were few in number to begin with," I reach out to pat Haku's muzzle beside me. "And though they taught the humans how to wield fire, the humans used it against them and tried hunting the dragons for their strength."

"What?! I wouldn't use a katon jutsu against a dragon!" Naruto exclaims boldly. Then, turning to Haku he adds, "I promise!"

The porcelain dragon raises his head at the boy's exclamation in acknowledgement, "Thank you, I will aim to avoid hurting you with my flames as well."

"So does that mean there's more dragons out there in the world?" Sakura asks.

"I...actually have no idea. Besides my summons, and whatever they know themselves, the only dragons that I know of are my summons." I admitted. There was no proof if there were dragons in this world, especially if the Tatsuya clan never existed.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted.

"So," I clap my hands together. Teachers do this right? Clapping their hands together or making a loud noise to get their students' attention? "I've already seen Sasuke's katon jutsu but it'll help if I knew where the rest of you are."

"I have a wind affinity, dattebayo!"

"Water is my affinity."

I nod my head at their admissions and start thinking of a lesson plan. Sucking in my breath I say, "Naruto, I think it's best if we use your affinity to strengthen Sasuke's katon but you should be able to learn some fire techniques. And Sakura, your water affinity is a complete opposite of fire. There will be some difficulty, but I think I have something that you can learn." The pinkette nods her head vigorously in understanding that she cannot really benefit from learning katon jutsu.

"To start off with, Sasuke, Naruto, I'd like you two to do some breathing exercises. Just copy me and remember to meditate if you can." I sit down and cross my legs in demonstration. My back is ramrod straight and my hands are placed on my knees as I take a breath in, take a breath out. Slowly, I feel raw chakra gathering in my gut and while my eyes were closed this whole time, I could sense that smoke was seeping out of my nose from every exhale. The preteens' sharp gasp (and grunt) also signal that my meditation exercise worked; the aim of doing this is to produce smoke.

"That's super cool! It's like, it's like, you're a dragon breathing out smoke, Hinowa-chan!" Sparkly, big, blue eyes are aimed at me with idolization. His hands were fisted up together and for a passing second I thought there were little dragon chibis flying behind him with a rainbow. Honestly, Naruto reminded me of Lee and Gai sometimes.

(Somewhere in the outskirts of Konoha, Maito Gai and his youthful student Rock Lee sneezed at the same time while simultaneously doing a headstand push-up. For even faltering during their training, they promised to do a hundred laps around the village!)

"Alright then, get to it. If you have any questions," I look between the two boys. One sunny and the other gloomy. "Ask Hatake-sensei." I finish with a smile. From behind us I swear I heard an indignant cry come from the silver haired man.

After giving the boys some space to do their exercise- and leaving Haku to moniter/babysit them- I led Sakura to our own corner and started with her training. " Now that those boys are gone, we can start with your training, Sakura-chan."

"Shannaro! Even if I have to learn something stupid, I'll do my best, Hinowa-san!" The girl's fired up spirit warmed a chill in my heart that I didn't know was there. The Sakura I knew, from my old world, was a beautiful, young woman who faced the loss of a teammate, the death of a shishou, and the cruelty of a war that placed her closest friends at the front lines. After the war, it was no surprise she wasn't the same bright Sakura that I knew and cared for. I don't think there was a single person who the war didn't change, honestly.

With only a shine of reflection in my eyes to indicate what I was thinking, I turn my attention back to the young girl in front of me. The one whose life was still joyful and filled with the company of her friends and family. "What do you know of lightning, Sakura-chan? Specifically raiton jutsu?"

"Well, lightning is one of the five elemental affinities. Its strength comes from its variety of long ranged justu and its ability to...conduct through water." She finishes with a look in her face that meant she came to some epiphany.

"Oh! I already knew that raiton jutsu is a weakness for me! Kakashi-sensei explained to me that if I face off against a lighting user like him, it's best to just fall back or rely on taijutsu."

I was half tempted to shake my head at Kakashi's apparent nonchalant attitude towards Sakura's training. Just run away or take your chances with hand-to-hand combat? I felt like scolding the man for not even bothering to teach her how to properly counter lightning attacks when you are at a disadvantage.

"I'm going to show you something that'll be even more useful than what Hatake-sensei told you. My second affinity is actually lightning, and you'd be surprised by the similarities of fire and lightning. In fact, there are so many similarities between all the five elements it's almost unbelievable, but we can talk about that at a later time. For now, show me a simple suiton jutsu."

Sakura blushed a little before saying, "Um, actually, I don't know any suiton jutsu."

Inside my head, I was reeling with outrage and I silently plotted a way to get revenge on this supposed _sensei_. "That's, quite alright, Sakura-chan. I mean, it isn't your fault, your sensei should have at least started teaching you the basics of suiton jutsu."

After shaking my head I add, "I wanted you to use suiton jutsu to help you feel the way chakra moves around in your body."

"I can do that, though! I'm really good with chakra control!" To show me, Sakura runs over to a tree near us and runs up then back down. Of course she has near perfect chakra control even at this age. _She's one of the best medics Konoha has produced, in par with Tsunade-sama_ , I think amusedly as the pinkette runs back to me.

"Then you know how chakra courses through each tenketsu, surging through you?" I ask as the girl settles down and faces me.

"Uh-huh! Almost like, like, water!" She exclaims. I felt pride at all the little lightbulb-moments that were coming to her. If I knew how cute Sakura was as a kid, I would've spent more time getting to know Kakashi's team back in my old world. As it was, I was starting to feel real gratitude for being placed on his team despite my own reservations against it.

"Water is characterized by the flowing, flexible style it uses. Fire, however, is known by its aggressive and dominant style. This is where lightning comes in, lightning is quick and agile, combining both the destructive force of fire while maintaining the water's flexibility. You've probably seen how Hatake-sensei uses his raiton jutsu in numerous different ways while still being able to completely wield and shift the lightning to any way he wants?"

"Kakashi-sensei uses this thing called Chidori and he can basically do anything with it since he's holding it in his hand!" Sakura recalls.

"So you see, lightning holds many similarities to water and fire," If Sakura was less than the top-notch student she was, she would have asked how this lesson incorporates with her training. Since she's better than that however, she watches me with focus and listens intently. "That is why, redirecting lightning is possible."

Sakura's face was scrunched up in that way that I've seen her when tending to a patient or dealing with a problem. Then it slowly slides out, the little wrinkle between her brow fading as a smile fixes itself onto her face. I could almost pinpoint the exact moment when her mind came to a conclusion.

"Redirecting lightning should be similar in the way that I would use suiton jutsu since they both should be near identical in the way that they are handled! And since you are a lightning user too, I can practice it with you!" I reached out my hand to pat the pink locks of hair in front of me. I wondered how much farther she could have gone as a ninja had Kakashi spent more time on her. She was a smart girl, top kunoichi of her class, but of course she'd been overshadowed by the last Uchiha and the jinchuuriki. It was a simple case of a big fish in an even bigger pond but it didn't stop my wish for her to have gotten more attention.

"Jaa, let's start, then." I clapped my hands together once more.

* * *

 Sakura was a quick learner. She took to my lessons like a fish in water.

(Everywhere in Konoha, all the water users sneezed and/or coughed. Perhaps there was a mild case of a flu outbreak? The Hokage must be alerted immediately if this could become a pandemic.)

At first I started with little zaps to let her get a feel of my lightning. Not enough to hurt too badly but I could tell she was becoming more hesitant with my training. Though I did catch a few looks from her aimed at Sasuke, so I supposed she stuck through it to prove something to him.

"I'm going to send off a larger bolt of lightning towards you, alright? Prepare yourself by relaxing and letting go of your anxiety, Sakura-chan. Remember that lightning is like fire but without the aggression. You must accept it and let it flow through your chakra system and _out_. All jutsu is made from chakra, so think off it almost like a medic-nin healing a wound." That last comparison didn't really make sense but I hoped it would ease her nervousness. The important part was that she released the extra chakra out of her or else she'd just end up getting shocked by my lightning. _Just let it in, let it flow through you, and out_ , I silently prayed for her.

"Here I go." I announced and a crackling, bright blue bolt is summoned after a hand sign. Sakura steels herself by aiming out two fingers in front of her and two fingers out above her, just like I taught her. The lightning bolt hits its mark, right on her fingertips, and immediately Sakura's eyes widen with a jerk. She lets out a small scream and falls on her knees, clutching her hand.

"Sakura-chan!" I let out and rush over to her. I grasp onto her hand and notice the fingers were bright red and bit swollen.

"I-I'm sorry, Hinowa-san. I was too nervous and got scared when I saw the lightning coming at me." She apologized. I could sense that the boys behind us were stirring up as well from our little fiasco.

"No, no, I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. If it hurts too much we can stop for today and get you to the hospital?"

"No! I want to stay here and train! I-I don't like being left out during training and I know Kakashi-sensei means well and all, but that doesn't mean I want to _stay_ weak. I want to protect Sasuke and show him I'm strong!" She lets out after pulling her hand back. I blink at her declaration and though her reasons to become strong were a bit skewed, I felt a surge of recognition from the girl in front of me. Sure, she wasn't training to protect all her friends, her comrades, or her village but training to protect at least one person was good enough for now. The Sakura I knew was slowly getting there, and perhaps, with more effort, she'll come around sooner than she had in my original world.

With a smile of determination, I nodded at her, "Let's get back into it, then." 

* * *

 "Shannaro!" The pinkette yells out as she pumps her fists into the air. She had just successfully redirected a bolt of lightning after a few tries from being shocked earlier. She still got shocked a little but bit through it as she forced the lightning to pass through her. Feeling and moving the lightning chakra was akin to moving her own chakra but it took a bit more force and direction.

Once more I shot out a bolt of lightning to catch her off guard; good shinobi are always prepared for any attack, I mean. Despite fumbling a bit, Sakura aims two fingers towards the lightning bolt and it disappears in thin air, almost as if it was being sucked into the appendages. There was a bit of charge around her as the lightning courses through her chakra system, her hair lifts slightly, but then it finally exits outside from the two fingers pointed away from her. The lightning comes out just as fierce as it had come and lands on an unsuspecting tree behind the girl. Said tree receives a dark scorch mark for all its efforts of catching a redirected lightning bolt.

"Wow! That was amazing, Sakura-chan! It's almost like you were using a raiton jutsu yourself!" the voice who yelled that out comes jogging up to us with a dark haired boy in tow.

"Hn." Grunts the dark haired boy. Unsurprisingly, Sakura blushes more at Sasuke's half-hearted praise than Naruto's outright compliment. A sweatdrop threatens to form on my forehead at the dumb love-triangle that these brats have made for themselves.

 _I can't believe that Sakura-chan still ends up with that boy_ , I shake my head at the thought.

 _Sakura-san's devotion did well for the Uchiha, though,_ Haku slithers up at me and coils around me. I pet his head a little rougher than usual because of his, albeit well worded, retort.

"Maa, what have you been teaching my cute, little genin Hinowa-san?" Kakashi says as he strides over to us in his classic lazy gait.

Naruto gawks at Kakashi before saying, "Hey! She's a genin, too, Kaka-sensei! Or are you getting too old so your memory's not that good?"

"Yeah! Hinowa-san is cute, too!" Sakura pipes in. I blush at their means of defending me. I mean, it's fine that Kakashi doesn't include me in his statement of 'cute, little genin' because technically I wasn't little or a genin. And me being cute is completely subjective. The little pang in my chest at the thought of Kakashi not finding me attractive was uncalled for as well. The only attention from a man that I want is from my husband. _Who was left behind in my original world_ , I think sorely.

"Anyways," I cut off those petty thoughts quickly. "I taught Sakura-chan how to redirect lightning, to give her a way to counter those who would use raiton jutsu against her suiton."

"Now, if you try to zap me or anything, Sensei, you better watch out or I'll redirect it straight back at you and make your hair even worse than it is now!" Sakura threatens with hands on her hips and a devilish smirk on her lips. Next to her, Naruto is rolling on the ground from laughter and Sasuke 'hn's in approval at her statement.

 _This team isn't so bad, not at all_ , I think while smiling at the scene in front of me. Once more, I was the stranger looking out at the bonds shared by those four people but this time, I didn't feel left out. Instead I felt a blooming fondness creep up in my chest and my promise to bring them a brighter future rears its head in my mind once again.

* * *

After discharging Haku and training today- Naruto and Sasuke managed to let out small sputters of smoke out their noses, I've been told- Kakashi told us to meet in front of the missions desk tomorrow morning. With a final nod, the jounin concludes the day by closing the orange book in his hand.

"Hinowa-san, if you mind, could I speak with you later?" Kakashi adds on after the children started talking amongst themselves.

"Of course, Hatake-sensei. After I get home to change out of these clothes, I can come see you."

"Don't trouble yourself, I'll come by in an hour and we can talk then."

After hearing our agreement, it was Sakura who jumped in when she pieced together what had just transpired, "Wait a minute...Kakashi-sensei! That's no way to ask a girl out on a date! Your lucky Hinowa-san is so kind to actually accept!"

"She must've felt sorry for you, Kaka-sensei, gahaha!" Naruto chortles while holding his stomach.

"I thought dating was not allowed within a squad?' Sasuke inquires innocently.

Damn, if even Sasuke decided to join in on the teasing it must've been real bad. Kakashi at least had the mind to look abashed before saying, "It's not like that, kids. When you get older, you'll learn that a man and woman can have completely professional relationships and friendships. And yes, Sasuke, unless there was a relationship beforehand, two squad members cannot engage in any 'dating'".

"Boy and girls can be friends too." I added helpfully.

"Suuure they can, Hinowa-chan!" Naruto continues to laugh and Sakura nods in agreement with him. Sasuke just looks a tad bit confused and wonders why gender matters in a relationship when friends weren't needed at all to become strong. Hn.

Both adults let out a sigh as they dismiss everyone and take off, one in a swirl of leaves and the other stomping down the path towards her apartment. 

* * *

Getting home and taking a steaming hot shower helped to get rid of some of the stress from today. Not that today was overly stressful, just that a few weeks of inactivity takes a lot out of a person who was used to the fast-paced life that ninja are committed to. I bent my head left and right to crack some bones in my neck and ease a point of tension.

"I'm home, Sei." I tell the plant that was dutifully waiting for me near the window.

"What, ignoring me now?" No response, not even a flutter from the plant's pink ribbon.

"So I came home and took a shower first before greeting you, I'm sorry! It was a long day, alright!" I retort back. A faint bristle of leaves meets my eyes and ears.

"Fine, I'm leaving again anyways. When I get back, I'll make sure to greet you first, promise."

I donned a simple, but oversized, white tee and long jogging pants, an outfit that was "borrowed" from everyone's favorite Green Beast of course. My hair was still a bit wet and laid against my back messily. Altogether, if the kids saw me now, it'd definitely prove that my meeting with Kakashi wasn't a date.

 _But sometimes you went out with your husband in casual clothes like this too_ , a traitorous voice reminds me.

"Doesn't matter." I spit out as I exit the apartment complex. True to word, Kakashi was waiting there about an hour after I got home. He was still wearing the same jounin uniform from earlier but his hitae-ate was replaced with an eyepatch instead. For him, that meant he was 'on break'.

"Hatake-sensei." I greeted.

The jounin lifts his eyes at me and takes a hand out of his pocket to wave at me, "You can call me Kakashi, Hinowa-san. You won't be my genin student for very long anyways."

"Very well, Kakashi-san." I walk up to him and together we head towards the civilian districts. "What did you wish to speak about?"

"Maa, how about we get some dinner first and foremost? I know this great place!" He sidesteps the question with ease and fixes a crinkle-eyed smile. He wants to make sure we are secluded first, then.

"Careful, Kakashi-san, I might start to think you actually like me." I wink back. I'll play along, as long as he didn't plan on interrogating me much. I wanted dinner too and I think I could get Kakashi to pay if I play my cards right.

Kakashi plays along right on and even blushes and waves his hand at me, "Ohoho, you might have just caught me, Hinowa-san."

The rest of the way towards the restaurant was spent with us carefully trying to make each other uncomfortable, using our own methods of intimidation to one up the other. It was nice and familiar, even if this man wasn't my Kakashi, I could still take the comfort of companionship from him.

We took the back roads so we didn't catch any attention and after getting seated in the restaurant that Kakashi led me to, I could see that it was scarcely filled and even then it was with ninja. Really secluded, then. The restaurant was one that me and my Kakashi go to when we wanted to be alone or when he comes back from a particularly bad mission.

We got seated to a back corner booth and I ordered a teriyaki chicken bowl with a side of miso soup while Kakashi ordered udon noodles with a plate of fried eggplant.

After the waitress left I asked, "So what did you want to know?" My face dropped the silly act I was doing earlier and took on a muted tone.

Judging from the look in his eye, my serious tone pushed away all pretenses of false casualty and caused him to break from earlier's character as well, "Tell me what you know of Konoha."

"It's one of the largest hidden villages, known to be one of the nicest shinobi villages and have the Byakugan and Sharingan doujutsu." I added precisely, the smile long gone from my face. I didn't know if he wanted to gather my current knowledge of the village or if I would slip up and reveal something to him by answering his questions, knowing him it would probably be both for efficiency's sake.

"What else?"

"Please be more specific." I knew Kakashi would report everything back to the Hokage but he isn't making it easier for me by asking me such broad questions.

"If you expect me to come clean with anything, you have me mistaken, Kakashi-san. Take my word when I say that I am no threat to Konoha. Why else would I teach one of your own genin such a powerful ability?" Teaching an enemy how to defend and use an opponent's attack against them is unheard of for an infiltrator. Spies are there to take information, not give it away.

"You're still someone who is of interest," In other words I wasn't completely off the 'shitlist' for being suspicious. "Why did you come to Konoha?"

So now we're getting into the real questions he wanted to ask me. Specifically, the ones about my past, it seems. I knew it would come sooner or later and honestly, I prefer being asked in the relative safety of a restaurant than in a locked room with Ibiki in the T&I headquarters. Good thing I've already thought of some general answers to say beforehand and that _this_  Kakashi doesn't know me like mine did. In fact, this Kakashi didn't know me at all which is something I'm going to take advantage of to the fullest tonight. The man across from me wouldn't know any of my tells and my facial expressions have been schooled into a mild indifference.

"I didn't. As I said earlier, I was being attacked by rouges who had some rather...unsavory...intentions and ended up near Konoha's gates. If I recall, it was you who brought me here on your back." I finish with a smirk. To him it could have been interpreted as a reminiscing, maybe even fond, smile or perhaps a shady sneer.

Kakashi stares at me for a few beats of unwavering, and a bit uncomfortable, silence. Soon after, he lets out a breath and his eyes crinkle into that false-cheered smile of his. "That's right, I did, didn't I?" And then glances to the approaching waitress who had enough sense to shuffle as loudly as possible to alert her arrival. Jumpy ninjas were bad customers after all. "Ah, it seems our meal has arrived."

We gave our thanks and started nibbling away at our food (though Kakashi did that thing where he ate without ever pulling down his mask, I gave him his privacy and kept my eyes downcast to let him eat in peace). I thought back at our conversation and deemed it passable. I hadn't given anything away nor did I come off as too enigmatic and vague with my answers. Maybe I could avoid a trip down to T&I for longer than I thought, if I was able to verbally maneuver my way around Kakashi like this.

After our meal- which we exchanged only a few more words of random subjects- Kakashi paid and then we left the restaurant.

"Thank you for tonight." I tell the man. It wasn't the same (because it will never be the same again) but it's comforting to be around someone who resembles your beloved in some way. Technically, this Kakashi and my husband are the same person...but  _not_.

"I have enough manners to pay when taking a lady out." He answers back.

"The children will never let this one go so easily. They'll tease you endlessly tomorrow." The street/alleyway we walked down was empty, except for a few trash bins and bags of garbage on the walls.

"Only me? What makes you think you'll be spared by them?" The silver haired man fixes a sidelong glance at me and the stars' shining light reflects back at me. My eyebrows raise almost invisibly and I hastily avert my gaze to look up into the night sky. The sky was much easier to look at, especially when it didn't remind you of what once was.

"Because they like me better, if you haven't noticed," I snorted. We turned the corner and I catch a familiar place in the distance. "And I'm almost certain that Naruto and Sakura think you're some kind of pervert."

Just as the jounin was about to retort back, I grab hold of his wrist and bring him toward the overpass that overlooked the village. I'd known that the place Kakashi had taken us was on the outskirts of the village but it slipped through my mind how close it was to this place.

As we neared the railings I let go of my grip on Kakashi's wrist and replace my hold with the metal barring us from a steep, though not particularly deep, fall. From up here, one could see nearly all of the village. It was a popular spot for couples because it was secluded and easily accessible unlike the Hokage mountains. I leaned out toward the railing, my upper body hanging out into the open air, and took a deep breath.

Home, though different, but _home_.

 _This is my home now, but I'll never forget where I come from_ , I thought as the smell of leaves and faded sunlight filter through my nose.

"It's beautiful here." I whisper. My eyes are closed and my body is flushed against the cool metal of the railing. Kakashi was behind me, quiet and thoughtful.

"Konoha _is_ a beautiful village." He agrees.

Slowly, I lift open my eyes and look upon the village. There were warm yellow lights coming from the civilian districts of town, where shops and people bustled about. On the other side, the Hokage Tower and the Academy building rested in the chill of the night, awaiting to come alive with shinobi and children the next day. Training grounds dotted the scenery and the occasional glint or flare of fire was seen, evidence of hardworking people with goals of becoming stronger, of protecting this village.

With a small smile, containing the barest hints of sadness, I say, "As beautiful as it is, I'm afraid I cannot, or more like, I do not have anything to give to Konoha."

"What do you mean?" A faint breeze slides the hair away from my face as emerald green leaves swirl into view.

"I've given everyone a piece of myself already."

"What's left when you've given everything?"

I spent a still moment to think it over, then said, quietly, "Nothing."


	9. Lassitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My heart shivers with the memory of you."  
> -Love as the Stars Went Out

Kakashi walked me home that night in an awkward silence. Both of us were caught up in the recesses of our own minds; our gait lost the easiness of itself from earlier and was replaced with a sluggish amble. I was guarded because I felt that I shared too much and that the man beside me had shared too little.

Regret welled up in me and I wished, for what seemed to be the upteenth time, that I had never been put on his team or in this village or even this world.

Forget all the camaraderie or familiarity of this place, I should have told myself earlier, so naive in my thought that this circumstance would put me into anything that wouldn’t remind me of the past.

Was it wrong that I felt a growing fondness for the village that I had witnessed being destroyed once, in another life, and to call it beautiful? Or that a blooming love- familial and almost motherly- began when I started training with the children?

Is it horrible for me to say that during the weeks where I had been in furtive probation I had fantasized of being able to replace my husband, _my_ Kakashi, with a man who hadn’t even known my name for a month?

People like me, who’ve killed innocents and broken things and people didn’t deserve a second chance, I concluded. But in the same way that I am gifted with the blessing of a do-over, I think this was meant to be a punishment of some sort. To see what could have been, with no involvement of yourself what-so-ever and to see that the people you held so dearly were doing just fine without you.

 _A blessing in disguise_ , I think, _Or perhaps more of a curse than a blessing._

We had arrived at the top of the street of my apartment building when Kakashi had given me the smallest of nods before flashing away.

I was half grateful for his speedy departure and half resentful of his cowardice towards saying what was on his mind. Then again, even the Kakashi of my world had trouble putting words to his feelings, even when I had been his closest confident.

That night, I tossed in my sheets as memories came to steal sleep from me once again. This particular one had me clenching the sheet between my hands, knuckles going bone-white.

_“Do you think happiness will ever find people like us?” I asked him one night when the demons were too loud and The Guilt too strong._

_(The Guilt was all the people that I allowed to die, all the people I’ve let down.)_

_Kakashi turned his body against me to put an arm around my waist, “Absolutely. The lives we lead leave us lost and, if we’re lucky, only a little broken. That is why happiness needs to find us. And not the other way around.”_

_For that short, blissful moment while wrapped in his embrace, I believed him._

That night, the pillows my head laid on- without any covers and bare- were stained by drops of saline that spilled from my trembling body.

* * *

The next morning I had woken with crusted eyes and a nasty case of bedhead. It honestly looked like my hair was sticking out in places that should have been impossible, almost gravity-defying. Akin to a certain silver head.

 _And there I go again, giving myself heartbreak,_ I shut up my thoughts with a rough shake of my head, loosening up some knots in my hair in the process.

Today was supposed to be the day I’d get my first mission. With Team 7, I mean.

God knew how much missions I’ve been on, not counting the undocumented ones from ANBU. The ones where no one knew but me and the Hokage were the missions I wished were never mentioned again. They were the ones that involved betrayal and brutal, mindless killing. The kind that revealed the truth about shinobi: that at our core we are heartless, monstrous killers.

Shaking those thoughts off as I did with my hair, I got up from my bed and headed towards the bathroom to wash up.

By the time it was seven, I had dressed myself in a high-neck halter top and standard-grade, black pants (the ones that billowed out at the ends and had to be strapped down with tape and sandals). I fastened my headband, shiny and scratch-free, on top my forehead and finished brushing my teeth before heading out into the living room/kitchen area.

The rustle of bright green leaves greeted me when I stepped out into the living room. An apologetic smile immediately grew on my face at the sight of my leafy friend.

“I’m sorry, I forgot my promise to you from earlier, huh?” I expressed. I had promised to greet the desert rose when I returned last night but had forgotten in the fervor of my ill feelings.

The pink ribbon flails from the morning breeze, and with it the smell of Konoha’s bright morning.

My brows relax steadily, “...I’m going on a mission today, so I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’ll find Gai to watch over you, alright?”

The sharp gust that came in almost made the plant seem like it twitched at the mention of the man’s name. I stifled a small giggle at the sight anyway.

I rushed in the kitchen and pulled out an apple before departing and yelling a goodbye over my shoulder. I couldn’t prolong seeing Kakashi again any longer and had to hurry before I get chewed out by the kids for being late.

* * *

Just as expected, Sasuke and Sakura were already at the front of the Academy when I had arrived.

“Good morning, Hinowa-san.” Sakura looked up from where she was hovering around Sasuke. The dark haired boy gave his own greeting in the form of a short grunt.

“Good morning, Sakura-chan, Sasuke-kun.” I returned good-naturedly.

The building anxiousness from having to face Kakashi again was threatening to rear its ugly head. I just hoped I wouldn’t be visibly sweating by the time he arrived.

 _You’re a better ninja than this, control yourself_ , I chided myself. But even the best ninjas have tells and weaknesses, something that will alert someone of their following actions.

Soon after, Naruto arrived shouting and grinning ear-to-ear. Jolly even in the mornings, that boy.

“Oi, Hinowa-chan, so how was your date with Kaka-sensei?’ The blonde teased. His eyes turned leery as irritation replaced my nervousness.

“That Hatake Kakashi, no good I tell you,” Sakura joined in, hands on her hips and taking on a tone that a parent would have when speaking to their child. “Please tell me that he at least told you he loved you before he tried anything?”

My eyebrow ticked at the pinkette’s suggestion. Try anything? As if he’d want to come within ten feet of me now after everything I’ve said to him last night. He probably thought I was weird at best and a possible spy at worst.

“Sakura-chan, Naruto-kun, I promise you that Hatake-sensei and I-”

Before I could finish the sentence, a poof of smoke appeared between me and the kids. When the smoke disappeared (and speak of the devil) Kakashi stood there with his eye crinkled in a smile.

“What was that about me?”

…

“You’re late!” The pink lemonade duo screeched accusingly. Even Sasuke gave his best glare at their jounin sensei.

“Sorry, there was a black cat that passed me so I had to take the long way.” Kakashi held up a hand in his defense.

Of course, the kids weren’t having any of it and continued their barrage of insults.

“Why would the long way take so long?”

“See what I mean, Hinowa-san? No good!”

“Pathetic, hn.”

The man had the gall to just laugh it off awkwardly which made the three preteens more incensed. A small sigh escaped my lips as I thought about how much I worried about seeing him again only to have this happen.

Was it a good thing that everything was exactly as it had been?

The question filled my mind as we shuffled into the building and reached the mission assignment desk.

Yugakure. The Hidden Village of Hotsprings. That was our first mission’s destination, and we were tasked to retrieve a scroll from a merchant there.

I felt a faint chill at the parallels between this mission and the one that had landed me in this world.

I was overthinking it and my mind created images of a failed mission and a goodbye that didn’t reach _that_ person's ears. The adrenalin of being chased by the enemy. Being beaten by rough kicks and being spat on. A slowing heartbeat in a pool of crimson.

I let a shuddering breath escape my lungs.

From the side, the silver haired jounin took note of his fourth genin’s reaction to the mission. Trauma? Stress? A painful memory?

After getting the mission details from the chuunin manning the desk- not Iruka, I noted- Kakashi told us to pack for a week or two and to meet at the gates in about an hour.

Heading back to my apartment, I realized that I didn’t really have any supplies. Then, stopping in the middle of the streets, I turned on my heel and went in search of a certain bowl-cut.

* * *

“My youthful dragon mistress! What aid can I offer you for coming to seek me out personally?” I had found Gai in a nearby training ground, practicing some kicks on a wooden post. There were chunks of wood around the man and a large dent burrowed into the furrow.

“Ah, hello, Gai,” I fidgeted a bit. Best to upkeep the maiden in distress look (though the Gai in my world could easily through it, this one didn’t know me like that). “I was wondering, since I’m a genin now…”  
“And in the team headed by my great rival himself, no less! He gets this win for attaining such a beautiful maiden,” He took my hand in his and kneeled. His eyes blazed with a youthful dazzle. “Now, what is it that you need, to seek me instead of my great rival?”

I feigned a blush (more from embarrassment) at his words. Honestly, Gai had hit on me before, in my world, but stuck to just ‘sarcastic flirting’ after finding out about my feelings for Kakashi. I think he was the first to know about my crush for the Hatake, actually.

“I’m new to this village, barely anything to my name. I was a wandering soul like that,” I laughed solemnly. “But Team 7 was just assigned to a mission that could take weeks and see, I don’t have much in supplies…”

“Nonsense! Let the Green Beast of Konoha fill up your _empty_ stocks, save for that brimming, mighty _need_!” There was a dirty joke in there somewhere. “Come, let us get to the supplies store and make sure you are adequately prepared!”

With that, I was whisked away with him to get gear. Things like a sleeping roll, kunai, bandages, and ninja wire were a must. Others like soldier pills, explosive tags, and rations weren’t necessary (especially the Akimichi brand, BBQ flavored ration bars) but Gai had insisted. Maybe he wanted to leave me with a good impression to tell to Kakashi?

When we were done, I had about five minutes to get to the front gates and meet up with my team.

“I can’t thank you enough, Gai. Really. You’ve given me so much already, I don’t know how to repay you.” I looked up at him sincerely.

In this world and the last, Maito Gai was a great comrade and an even greater friend. The only thing I wanted now was to be able to thank the Gai from my world for everything he’s done for me, but thanking this one would have to be good enough.

In my eyes were words and emotions that were meant for a man in a world over. I hoped, maybe a little pointlessly, that my thanks would reach him. I hoped and hoped.

“You are a ninja of Konoha now, Hinowa-san,” I think that was the first time he’s said my name here. And it felt nice to hear him say it, whether he knew that or not.

“That headband signifies not only your ties to this village, but with all the people in it. It is only natural to lend a helping hand to a comrade in need! Especially for a youthful flower such as yourself!” He gave his signature pose and smile.

For this moment, I accepted the fact that I lost my old life but the Will of Fire burns greatly and is inextinguishable in the face of all things, even fate.

* * *

All five of Team 7 met up at the front gates, as was told, and nodded their head at each other in synchronized greeting.

Kakashi went ahead to give the guards the proper papers for a mission leave and the next thing I know, we’re flying through the thick forests of Fire Country.

Born and raised in Konoha, the leafy setting was a comfortable sight. The thick oaks with their abundance of branches and leaves give easy access to travelling ninja like us.

Soon as we near Yugakure no Sato, however, the treeline will change to Japanese maples and since we were catching the tail end of summer, by the time we head back for Konoha the maple leaves will be a blazing, fiery red.

(Not to mention, Konoha’s own Mokuton trees within the village will slowly shift from their green to orange hues as well.)

A slight movement in my peripherals stops my sightseeing. Sliding my eyes, I glance at Sakura who was digging for something in her pack.

We were in a diamond formation: with me heading the front, Sasuke and Sakura behind me to my right, Naruto on the left, and Kakashi at the rear.

I was a little sorry for messing up their team formations since we were now odd-numbered and unevenly balanced, power-wise. It only made sense to put the two adults at the front and back of the group, the jounin sensei would have already known that I was already beyond genin level.

(Though in his opinion, he feels his team is quite strong compared to most other genin teams.)

We shouldn’t be expecting too much trouble during our mission, though. Yugakure has long stopped being a shinobi village and has become a resort town instead, relatively peaceful and neutral.

Despite all of this, a nagging buzz in the back of my head keeps me a little paranoid. Team 7 always did have a knack for trouble anyways, and if some spiritual being- not Kaguya, not Kaguya, _not Kaguya_ \- happened to take notice of me, they may just decide that I didn’t have a place in this world.

Focusing back on Sakura, the young girl apparently found what she was looking for and sped up her pace to catch me up front.

“Here.” She said as she held out a small, braided bracelet with a sun charm on it.

The bracelet itself was a pastel yellow, intertwined with some red jewels in its plait. The sun charm was very simple in contrast, a wooden circle with a sun painted on it. It was...very cute and effeminate- just the right touch of girly.

“Is this for me?” I offered my own hand up and the pinkette dropped the bracelet into my palm. I blinked at the gift before looking up and blinking at the person who gave it to me. “Why?”

Sakura chuckled a bit, as if expecting that reaction from me, “For helping me yesterday! I mean, you were supposed to be training with Sasuke-kun but...you helped me out instead. This is just my way of thanking you, Hinowa-san”

I looked down at the gift once more, and though a cute accessory, I had to bite my tongue from saying that bracelets are impractical for ninja. Kunoichi wore as little accessories as they could, same as shinobi, because they were _personal_ things. Personal things could be used against you, used to hurt you. For a ninja, their path forces them to rid themselves of objects like these (and for organizations like ROOT, rid themselves of emotions completely).

I held back my thoughts and instead responded a terse, “Thank you, Sakura-chan.”

I tried to convey as much sincerity in my eyes to her because she will most likely not see me wearing her gift unless I was off-duty.

Seeing a flash of hurt in her eyes, I could tell that she understood that, too.

With a final nod from the girl, she fell back into step with the Uchiha behind her.

 _I can see how Kakashi had easily formed such strong bonds with these children,_ I thought as I pocketed the bracelet, _So much warmth from them, they are so innocent at this age_.

In my mind there flashed images of a screaming Sakura, a half-transformed Naruto, and a cursed Sasuke. Children who have been beaten and tested and forced to endure the burden of the world they live in.

 _This path is one of difficulty, especially for these three,_ I sighed.

* * *

The Hatake looked on at his group in front of him, paying close attention especially at the interaction between the females of the group.

 _Strange_ , I think to myself. That was the one word that came to mind when I thought of Tatsuya Hinowa.

Tatsuya Hinowa, who was from the Land of Tea, an orphaned vagabond, and a dragon summoner.

Just, strange.

She was peculiar in the way she had appeared in my life: half-dead and wearing ninja blacks. The woman later explained that she was a wandering traveller who’d “picked up” on things along the way, including tricks and items it seems. She was hunted by down bandits and managed to get away, though it looked like both parties had put up a good fight. Apparently, they wanted whore her out. A sad life for those inflicted but not entirely uncommon; it was one of those things in the world that I was not proud of (in fact, there is very little that I actually am proud of).

She was peculiar in the way she spoke and acted: casual and confident. Especially to a particular group not known to be overly friendly, a.k.a the shinobi of the village. When faced with the three genin, she took an almost motherly role to them and taught them in ways that I hadn’t tried. Even with Gai, who was known to be exceptionally difficult to deal with, she dealt with an almost never ending supply of patience. Taking in all his quirks with her own gentle enthusiasm. Seeing her befriend one of my own closest colleagues made a small thump in my chest (perhaps hope?) signalling that maybe we would be able to get along as well. Become _friends_ , even.

She was peculiar in the way she held herself when she thought no one was looking: guarded and filled with longing. Oh, how aged she looked in those times when she’d drifted away in thought, lost in her own mind, thinking of _something_. Her face looked far older than she was- at a good twenty four years of age- and her eyes were haunted. The dragon mistress had seen things that one only saw in great suffering, in times of war.

All of my observations have led to one thing: Who was Tatsuya Hinowa, really?

Each time I observe her or talk to her I seem to gather more questions than answers. What is your real purpose of coming here? Where did you get a dragon summoning contract? What have you _seen_?

Our talk last night was no help either. She was ‘empty’ was all I could muster from her words. I didn’t know whether to take her admission as a well-veiled threat or a heartfelt confession but I was sure that the ANBU tailing us that night would have told the Hokage either way.

Just thinking about having to report back to the Sandaime after the mission to talk about our “night out” was already giving me a headache. It’s a good thing my face was covered with a mask, both physically and metaphorically.

Considering all the circles I’ve been running around concerning her, I would have expected to be tired of this mess and dump her onto someone else more willing to deal with her (like Gai). Except I’m not.

At least, I’m not bored of her just yet.

Tired, yes, I’ve tried to incorporate her into our team and gather info on her simultaneously this whole time. I just didn’t expect to find her as fascinating as she is, like a riddle waiting to be solved.

Whatever her purpose is, I’m half tempted to find out myself.

* * *

Maybe it was a mistake a tell Kakashi how empty I really am? Was I wrong in showing him a vulnerable side to me?

Turning my head to look at the man, his face betrayed no emotion and I found myself hating how well he hid behind that mask. I wished we could speak like the how we used to- how I used to with _him_ , I remind myself- so that I’d be able to get all this stress of my chest.

At this rate, I was like a volcano, building up with steam and heat and waiting to burst into fiery, hot lava onto unsuspecting people. Most likely innocent, unsuspecting people.

 _God, my neck itches,_ I thought as I scratched at the spot beneath my hair. I was fidgeting, for sure, but hopefully the kids haven’t caught on to my worry. The last thing I need is to have jittery, trigger-happy genin along for a supposedly peaceful mission.

We arrived at the outskirts of Yugakure by day three, the sun was setting and the idea of hitting up the hot springs seemed more and more appealing.

If it were just me or Kakashi, we’d probably arrive by the end of the first day but the genin were still learning and didn’t have as much stamina, or willpower, to keep up. We were actually going as fast as we could, with no breaks, to get here in a timely manner.

So when we were escorted to our lodgings by some of the village guards, the kids decided to stay behind and rest while Kakashi and I “scouted the area”.

More like: I actually scout the area and report back to Kakashi while he lounges at some bar or check into a hot springs.

With no more than a nod, we split ways and went on with our own agendas. Of course, as I was leaving, a few words were shouted out after me from the exhausted kids.

“You two better not be using this as an excuse for a hot springs date!”

“Eww, Sakura-chan, that’s gross…”

“Dobe, not like that.”

“What?! Why would either of you come to think of that anyway?! Shannaro!”

Leave it to these three to end up fighting even after three days of nonstop travelling. Was there anything that could tire out three overactive, genin children?

Seriously thinking about it, probably not.

Shaking my head, I quickly head out and exit the building we were staying in.

Yugakure, despite not being a shinobi village anymore, still held remnants of what it was. Like grime that wouldn’t wash away, there were training grounds here and there that couldn’t be repurposed because of the hazard of traps, the scuff marks of kunai and weapons mar a few of the buildings and even some of the older people here have those eyes that tell the tale of a life much different than that of a civilian.

It would take a few generations before the mark of ninja completely fades from this place, though from overhearing a few conversations, there is talk of returning back to the old days and become a hidden village again. There were those who were against it as well, finding the more peaceful setting more habitable for children and shopkeepers.

Obviously, there is some political unrest within the village.

In my original world, Yugakure remained as it is here, neutral and a tourist town.

“Excuse me, miss, have you seen my grandson?” Came an elderly voice.

I blinked a few times seeing that no one was in front of me before tilting my head down. There stood a short, old man that had to have seen at least the last three wars in his lifetime (perhaps even fought in them!) wearing a brown tunic and an even browner pair of pants. Altogether, he pulled off the harmless ojii-chan grandfather look quite well.

 _But looks could be deceiving_ , I thought as a flash of Hiruzen passed by my mind.

“Ah, no. I’m sorry, maybe if you ask the stalls around here they’d be of more help.” I smiled awkwardly.

“I had already asked those frumpy shop sellers, so don’t think you can get rid of me so easily just yet!” Before I could clear my name from the accusation, the old man had a vice grip on my wrist and leading me down the street. Yeah, definitely fought in the last shinobi war.

“H-hold on, ojii-san! I’m an on-duty kunoichi from Konoha, and I assure you that after I get my business done I’ll be able to help you!” I tried to remedy.

“Nonsense, I’m sure Konoha would understand if I enlisted your help to find my dear, little grandson! I mean, I’ve already sent in a request for a genin squad from there to come pick up a scroll from me. I couldn’t make the journey myself, I hope you understand, because of my health and all! Hohoho!” The small, old man continued on dragging me, though with little resistance now that he had explained that he was the one who summoned us.

I bet he knew exactly who I was when he’d saw the Konoha headband around my head, clever old man.

He laughed like what typical, cheery old men did and threw his head back at his own jokes despite his grip on my wrist. Now I could have forcefully pushed him away earlier, but I had no business causing a scene in neutral ground.

Just imagine it: “Konoha ninja, cruel enough to throw an old man to the ground! Said old man only looking for beloved grandson!”

Konohagakure had a reputation. One that I’d like to uphold.

So I went on with him, and even as he revealed himself as being our employer, I allowed myself to be pulled to wherever he wanted to go.

“So you’re the one who employed us, Kazuhiko-san?” I asked as we finally reached our destination. We were sitting in a gazebo in front of a large house. Apparently, the old man- Kazuhiko Jou- was originally a shinobi for Yugakure but had retired after the village changed its international relations. He was a wealthy merchant of expensive shinobi goods now.

“Yes, I enlisted help from Konoha to bring a scroll to its Hokage. I’m sure the journey to get all the way out here was long, so please rest and visit our famous hot springs while you’re here! I promise I won’t tell that Hokage of yours that you all decided to take a few days for yourself.” He winked. I laughed awkwardly and nodded at his suggestion.

I’d be able to fit in a night of hot springs, right?

“If you don’t mind, Kazuhiko-san, I can take the scroll off your hands now. Rest assured, I’ll be giving it to my squad commander, Hatake Kakashi, for safekeeping.” Saying that the Copy-nin will be in charge of protecting something usually sets people at ease, I’ve found out a long time ago.

“About that…” The good-natured old man smiled with unease.

 _Please don’t tell me you’ve lost it_ , I prayed.

“You see, I gave the scroll to my grandson to hold onto. And now that I can’t find him…”

“The scroll is lost.” I finished, my tone flat and face deadpanned.

Of course the grandson has it. _Of course_.

“I guess we need to find your grandson, huh?” I felt a drop of sweat threaten to form at my temple.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all this time!” Kazuhiro-san clucked at me.

* * *

We searched high and low, asked everyone we could, and I even henged into a man to check the men’s hot springs to see if Kazuhiro’s grandson was there.

No such luck, though I did get a good eyeful of very nice man-butt. Kakashi wasn’t in there either, though I can’t make my mind up if I wanted him there or not.

(On second thought, he’d probably spot me from a mile away and I don’t think he’d ever let me live it down, no matter what my excuse.)

Sighing, I turned to the still bright and cheery old man, “Kazuhiro-san, I really don’t think your grandson is in this village. Do you remember if he told you anything? Anything at all about him leaving?”

“Nope!” He chirped. “I handed him the scroll for safekeeping, then next thing I knew, he was gone! Poof!”

I shook my head with a small smile. At his age, how can he be so merry? Maybe he led a good life so he hadn’t need to suffer and work like others. But then again, he was an ex-shinobi, so maybe he’s seen so much that all that’s left is to make the best of his retirement.

“Alright then, Kazuhiro-san. Maybe we can search the male hot springs again-” I started to suggest, but before I could finish another voice yelled over in our direction.

“Hey lady! Back off of Jou-jii, he’s not buying anything!” A young man that couldn’t be older than eighteen came stomping over the two of us. He was so unlike Kazuhiro-san, wearing flashy clothes meant for a noble and long, red hair braided along his back. I also took note of the small parcel bag that slung across him, probably holding the scroll.

Fixing my most politically correct smile I said, “I apologize. I am a kunoichi from Konoha sent on a mission to collect a scroll, certainly not someone selling something to your grandfather here.”

The boy checked his grandfather over first before turning to look at me. I was taller than average women at five-foot-eight, at least in Konoha, and it seems that dear grandson was eye level with me.

Unfortunately, the moment our eyes met his navy blue orbs morphed from the normal black pupil to red heart shapes.

“No, no, no! I should be apologizing! I’m Kazuhiro Jun by the way, heir to the Kazuhiro Trading Company here in Yugakure. Did I mention that you are the most beautiful thing I’ve laid my eyes on?” He grabbed my hands and leaned forward, his heart eyes almost throbbing like a real one would. Yuck.

“Hohoho! My beloved grandson seems to have taken a liking to you, Kunoichi-san! Hohoho!” The old man guffawed. A few people were looking at the commotion we were causing and I could have sworn I heard faint whispers of “poor girl” in there.

“...Before we move onto anything _else_ , I was told that you have the scroll, Jun-san?” I deftly slipped my hands out of his and backed away slightly.

The younger Kazuhiro blinked at my retreat and suddenly the heart eyes are gone, his eyes back to its original blue.

Just as he opened his mouth, a familiar, brash voice cut in, “Back off of Hinowa-chan, bastard! She’s already dating someone!” Naruto pointed towards Jun while Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi were behind him.

This time, I really did feel a sweat drop from how similar these two openings went.

Jun apparently didn’t take Naruto’s interruption all that well because sooner than the eye can blink these two were in a shouting match.

“What do you mean, boy, that she’s already dating someone?”

“I mean that she’s _dating someone_! And my name isn’t ‘boy’, it’s Uzumaki Naruto, and I’m gonna be Hokage one day, believe it!”

“Who would she be dating? And tough luck on being Hokage, _boy_ , you’re still a brat!”

“You’re still a brat, too, idiot! And she’s dating my sensei, Hatake Kakashi, the great Copy-nin!”

Then Sakura jumped in, “ _Tough luck_ on dating her now, you big creep! As if you could beat Kakashi-sensei!”

From behind them, Sasuke was nodding minutely, if only to agree that yes, his sensei wasn’t that cool, but at least he’s better than _you_.

I was rubbing my temples and Kakashi had a hand on his face at the display of the four children. The only one is a positive mood was Kazuhiro-san, who was shaking with laughter as if this was somehow funny to him.

Then again, all ninja were a little weird, no matter the age or retirement.

By the end of the day, I had managed to get Jun to give me the scroll and for Kazuhiro-san to fill out some papers. Kakashi was entirely useless throughout the whole ordeal so I made sure he would carry the scroll for the rest of the ‘mission’.

The children were squabbling the entire time, of course. Neither side letting up, both believing they were in the right.

Kakashi and I made the executive decision to decline Kazuhiro-san’s kind offer to stay a while longer and instead, leave immediately the next morning.

That night, while resting in our lodgings- the boys get one room and the girls another- Sakura told me her side of the argument. I liked to gossip sometimes, too, so I humored her and stayed up in bed listening to her.

“So then that bozo was like, that maiden is mine, I have fallen in love with her at first sight!” She imitated Jun’s voice, poorly. “Like ew! Alright, I admit he’s _okay_ looking but his looks aren’t good enough to cover the fact that he talks like some crusty, old man!”

I remembered that Sakura in this world hasn’t met Lee or Gai yet so I briefly entertained the idea of introducing them to each other. Perhaps another day.

“Then Naruto was like, you’re too young to get with her! Besides, she only likes ninja!” Sakura imitated Naruto’s voice this time, just as poorly. In fact, both boys’ voices sounded exactly the same. “So then I said, yeah! You can’t be _that_ much older than us, shannaro! Then he said that he was fifteen and then Sasuke, oh my God, he said, Hinowa-san is much too old for you, then.” Sakura’s Sasuke impression was only an octave lower than the other boys this time.

“I don’t know if Sasuke was actually sticking up for me, but thank you anyways. Really though, I don’t need you three to be protecting my honor or anything.” I sighed out.

There was some moonlight streaming in from the window. My bed was on the far side of the door, so it was easy to see outside the glass and peek at the stars. Normally I would take the bed closest to the door to be able to defend Sakura, or any other genin, from an ambush but I had decided that the mission was peaceful enough.

Yugakure seemed docile compared to the rambunctious energy of Konoha.

“But it’s not just protecting your honor, Hinowa-san! It’s to keep any guy away from you since you and Kakashi-sensei are dating! Seriously, that man better try harder to keep creeps away from his girlfriend next time. If we weren’t there, Kakashi-sensei’d be alone again.”

I made no reply or retort back at the girl. No sooner than that, exhaustion claimed the pinkette and soft breathing was all I could hear from that side of the room.

 _Alone again, huh? Did Kakashi have someone in this world he considered more than a friend? Did he have_ , I hesitated on even thinking of the word, _a girlfriend?_

I could have told the girl that I certainly wasn’t Kakashi’s girlfriend and that I struggle to even think he considers me a friend. I mean, what happened that night in Konoha, I poured myself out to him and he’s been a little distant since. If that wasn’t an obvious sign that he’s weirded out by me I don’t know what is.

But maybe, just maybe, the fact that he’s seen such a raw part of me could have opened the gates of friendship a little. They- as in most ruthless ninja- say that you only ever _truly_ meet a person at their most vulnerable, preferably as they’re dying.

I wasn’t dying but my heart was bleeding for the hollowness I felt while in this world. I just wanted Kakashi to know that, even if he wasn’t _mine_.

Maybe I could try, just to test the waters, to see if he didn’t at least hate me. I still don’t plan on ever getting that close to him but it’s better to have more allies than enemies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hurt my wrist badly and am still recovering (I'll post a picture in the EXTRAS) so I've been unable to write seriously in the past weeks. I've only managed that one chapter on the EXTRAS page since it was already pre-written and ready to upload...  
> Anyways! Back to the story! I needed to soften the angsty blows with some humor I guess so have some OCs (though Old Man Kazuhiro is based off of Master Roshi lol)! Hinowa tends to get interrupted a lot in this chapter...and in general! She doesn't get mad about it so maybe that's why it keeps happening haha.  
> Can I ask you a question by the way: Would you like it if I brought back Jun and his grandpa? I had a lot of fun writing these OCs and they're mainly going to be used as comic relief, maybe more, in the future.   
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Addition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I exist too much, I feel too much, think too much. Reality is crushing the life out of me.”  
> -Love and Space Dust

That morning in Yugakure was met with a big struggle.

After gathering our belongings and meeting up with Kazuhiro-san once more to finalize the mission, Jun had apparently wanted to come along with us back to Konoha.

“Please! I beg of you, take me with you! Beautiful Maiden Hinowa, can you please find it in your heart to allow me to accompany you?” The red headed boy implored me while taking my hands in his.

Naruto was the first to retort, “Creep! Let go of Hinowa-chan! And why would we even take you?”

Sakura gave her own look of skepticism towards Jun, one eyebrow arching and her lips pulling into a tight pinch.

“Why? Well, I’ll have you know, boy, that my clan were originally ninjas of Yugakure. I may be the heir to the trading company but more than that, I have the dream of becoming a shinobi! I’ve been training with a friend so I have the basics of most genin mastered already!”

At the teen’s words, Kazuhiro-san’s usual smile fell a little. For the regularly cheerful old man, that might as well have been an outright frown.

“You have been training in the ninja arts without proper supervision, Jun? Is that where you’ve been running off to all this time?” The old man said in a gruff voice.

Jun caught on to his grandfather’s stern tone and withered a bit before saying, “Not unsupervised, Jou-jii! I had Masa-kun with me!”

After saying the other person’s name, Jun slapped his hand towards his mouth as Kazuhiro-san openly gaped. The old man’s eyes reflecting the calm before the storm.

 _Uh oh, family troubles_ , I thought uncomfortably.

We were all inside the Kazuhiro clan compound, being ushered in for morning tea at the insistence of Kazuhiro-san’s wife- who was almost the same in jovial character as her husband. All seven of us were gathered around a large, circular table. One that was probably used for meetings and the like.

“Darling, if you can call over Masa to join us?” Kazuhiro-san asked his wife with a small smile, relaxing a bit for her sake. When she returned, a boy around Jun’s age trailed into the room after her.

“You called for me, Grandfather?” the teen, apparently Masa, asked. His hair was much shorter and slightly more orange than Jun’s, pinned back at the front with black pins, but his outfit was similar in its ornate designs. Masa had eyes that were light lilac in color as well- not as pale as a Hyuuga but pastel colored nonetheless- and that was the biggest difference I had noted between the two teens.

“Masa, sit.” After the boy followed his command, Kazuhiro-san continued, “I heard from Jun that you two were training together?”

Masa blushed, caught from hiding something behind his grandfather’s back, “I’m sorry, Grandfather! You see, both Jun and I, we truly want to become shinobi!”

The two teens’ eyes were filled with a desperate kind of fire, one that screamed to be acknowledged.

Fixing a long, stern look at his grandsons, Kazuhiro-san sighed before surrendering, “I will allow it. On one condition, if I send you two off to get a formal training, you must come back, alive, to us.”

The word “alive” had been stressed with a certain resolution that spoke volumes of the seriousness of Kazuhiro-san’s compromise with his two grandsons. Both teens looked to each other and then nodded with a confirmation. They chorused a “Yes, Grandfather!” and though it was heart-warming and all to see such strong family ties, I thought of the repercussions of bringing back more people than what we had come with. This wasn’t an escort mission, afterall.

For one, would the Hokage just allow them into our village seeing as they are outsiders? Technically I was an outsider as well, though I was granted entry easily enough. That was mainly in part of me being a citizen of Fire Country despite “originating” from the Land of Tea. Even then, however, I was kept on a tight leash with ANBU sent to monitor me like I was some kind of criminal.

Judging from the look Kakashi had sent my way, it seems he was thinking the same thing.

He cleared his throat a few times before saying, “Maa, I don’t mind taking you two along with us,” A very loud exclamation of protest came from the blonde in the room. “But, since this doesn’t fall under our mission parameters, we are not required to protect you on our journey back to Konoha.”

The two Kazuhiro boys nodded their heads in understanding. It wasn’t an outright rejection so they surmised the jounin’s words as an approval of their travel.

By the time we left the village, we had a scroll and two teens on our way back to Konoha.

* * *

Despite only being a genin on the team, Hiruzen had asked me to stay behind to give my own mission report personally. I think it had to do with the fact that I wasn’t a fresh-faced academy student like Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke or maybe it was because of their own raised suspicions to see what I’d say.

I’d like to think it was the former but, like most things in the ninja world, there were multiple (and often times) hidden agendas at foot.

After the Team 7 had left- and I excluded myself out of their team because in a few, short weeks I wouldn’t be joined with them anymore- Hiruzen nodded his head for me to proceed with my debrief. Kakashi would give his own at a later, much later, date but for now perhaps my own recount would do.

“Team 7 deployed from Konoha a week ago at around seven thirty in the morning. The travel to Yugakure was without conflict; we experienced no trouble aside from the children's complaints,” I tried for light humor with a fake smile, Hiruzen returned one of his own in response.

“We arrived on day three where the children were left at the lodgings while our squad commander and I scouted the area. Coincidentally, while scouting I had made contact with our employer and then proceeded with the mission. Unfortunately, the scroll which we were sent to retrieve was missing as our employer, Kazuhiro Jou, explained that he had given it to his grandson before he had gone missing as well. I spent the next few hours looking around Yugakure for Kazuhiro-san’s grandson before he himself had found us. In the end, the scroll was safely in my hands by the time the rest of Team 7 had regrouped.”

Hiruzen’s graying brow quirked at the mention of the grandson, “The grandson had come along with you? As well as the other one?”

Feigning sheepishness, I fidgeted where I stood, “Ah, see, Kazuhiro’s two grandsons wanted to come along with us back to Konoha; they had wanted to gain citizenship and become shinobi of the Leaf.”

The  Sandaime gave me a long, undecipherable look before lifting a hand and waving it toward the door. I could only hope my report was satisfactory enough.

“Please bring in the two Kazuhiro boys.” The gruff man requested.

The doors opened to reveal Jun and Masa, who had been waiting outside the whole time for precaution. Both teens looked worse for wear, the travel back taking a day longer than our usual pace but had still pushed their limits to keep up.

The only real rest they had gotten from then to now had been the moments of waiting outside the Mission’s Desk room while sitting on the seats- which aren’t that comfortable, from experience, so it had something to say about the level of exhaustiveness needed to find the stiff cushions comfortable.

“Hokage-sama.” They chorused as they bent low at a ninety-degree angle in respect.

Said Hokage grunted at their show of respect before asking, “I’ve heard it from Hinowa-san here, but I’d like to hear it for myself from you two. Why do you two want to become shinobi? Let alone, Leaf shinobi?”

Hiruzen’s voice was laced with a commanding tone that reminded me how this man had been known to be the God of Shinobi. He held a voice that just _commanded_ and _inspired_. He had probably meant to instill a sense of pride of being a Konoha-nin, that we were different from any other ninja for the sole reason of being Leaf.

In my own heart of hearts, deeply biased and selfish, I agreed wholeheartedly. I couldn’t ignore the propaganda that was taught in the academy any more so than the morality of being ordered to kill people who had orders of their own, but I knew that I was fiercely loyal to this village and everything it stood for. Even for all its monstrosity and necessary, and times unnecessary, evils, I was a Konoha ninja through and through.

If these boys didn’t have the conviction needed to be that, then I wouldn’t even blink at seeing them deported back to Yugakure.

It was Jun who spoke first, “I believe in the Will of Fire. Back when I had just wanted to become a ninja, any ninja, I didn’t care for things like teamwork or a Ninja Way. I just wanted to look cool and not be a merchant for the rest of my life. Until I saw Konoha-nin come to Yugakure after a messy battle. That one guy, damn,” Jun averted his gaze behind the Hokage, staring off into the large windows.

“His teammate was shredded. The other one wasn’t doing so good either. I’d thought it was better if the two just left the injured one behind, y’know, they wouldn’t be so held down, but the look on their faces. His voice when he had cried out desperately for a medic of any kind to help them. I saw then what I didn’t see in other ninja that came through Yugakure: a kind of loyalty that left you clinging for dear life as you try to save your comrades. Masa was there too, uh, he could probably explain it better.” The redhead coughed awkwardly by how hoarse his voice was getting at the memory. Jun’s sentences were clipped yet held a heavy-weight to them.

I reflected back to my own career, the one in my first world. How many times had I come close to death? There seemed an endless amount of times I’ve seen comrades fall and crumble.

A medic-nin sees the most death in battle without actually directly killing someone, so you'd think I was desensitized to the whole thing, though I still felt a twinge of guilt every time someone had died in my care, or even in my squad.

Masa continued on from Jun’s suggestion, “We had not seen anything like it, Hokage-sama. Their teammate had died in the end and as they left our village, one man less, their eyes were so hollow with loss. I could see that for Konoha-nin, comrades were more than just that, they extended toward friendship. The kind that broke their hearts every time a comrade died. But don’t mistake us, we are not here in masochistic intent for creating doomed friendships. We seek that Will of Fire. The need to protect Konohagakure and the people inside of it.”

A brief moment of consideration then took place in the room, Hiruzen contemplating and the boys anticipating.

“Hinowa-san, when the Chuunin Exams are ready, you three will be put into a team. I will leave it up to you on whether or not you wish to train these two, but regardless, I will have you enter.” A thinly veiled threat ended the Sandaime’s decision.

Gasps came from my two soon-to-be teammates, apparently shocked that they have been taken in as well as assigned to a team. I could only nod in agreement.

By the end of the meeting, two new, shiny Konoha headbands gleaned from the teens’ forehead. 

* * *

After getting home and greeting Sei, I had hopped into my bathtub and brewed in the steamy heat of the water.

My bathroom was small- which you could say the same about everything else in this apartment- to the point where the length from the tip of the tub to the other end was also the length of the room. Right next to the tub was the toilet and right next to that was a pedestal sink. The only place I could put my towel was over the closed lid of the toilet (which was probably unsanitary but at this point, who cared?).

I had a whole three to four feet where I could walk through the door to the tub. Nevertheless, for the sole reason that there was hot, running water was enough to feel blessed and grateful.

A sigh escaped my lips before I sunk a bit deeper into the tub, my eyes the only thing visible at this point.

Why had Hiruzen put those two on my team? I had already known I would be forced to take the exam but I had thought I could’ve gotten away with signing up with Team 7.

 _Idiot, idiot, idiot. They didn’t give you special treatment before so why would they now? As if the Hokage would overturn the rules just for you_ , I chastised myself. Blinking away the frustration at knowing I was being used but not being able to do anything about it.

I mean, technically, there were many things I could do about it. If I hadn't been found by Kakashi them, I could have ended up somewhere else. Ame? Suna? Hell, even Iwa maybe?

Gone rogue if I wanted.

Missing-nin if I wanted.

Grand delusions of a hot blooded, live-fast-die-young lifestyle flashed through my mind. One where I was free of village piety and personal ties; I could have either become the best version of myself or the worst.

 _Just imagine the kind of monster I could have become without something pesky like morals holding me back_ , a snake-like voice, that sounded like me but not like me at all, whispered to me. The voice was one that surfaced whenever dark thought and desires came to me, suggesting evil, horrible things.

It often times reminded me that I wasn't inherently good nor completely without cruelty. It also reminded me that I was still human, someone who chose to do what I thought was right and thus separating myself from the inhuman like Orochimaru or Madara.

Maybe it was a little prideful of me to think myself better than those I've defeated or accuse to be monsters, but that was a fault of my own that I came to terms with a long time ago.

Remembering the source of my distress, I thought back to Hiruzen’s calculating gaze.

_Just what are you planning, Hiruzen?_

Besides joining Jun, Masa and I into a team, why has he allowed them to become Konoha-nin in the first place?

Thinking back to what I knew from the Chuunin Exams of my world, the joint invasion from Suna and Oto had almost been a successful one had it not been for Gaara’s submission and Orochimaru’s retreat.

I had later learned that Orochimaru had been disguised as the Kazekage the whole time and played Suna as fools, sequentially sparking understanding from our side and coming to an agreement of some kind of truce.

What would the purpose of adding on another genin team, then? Surely Hiruzen could gauge the extent of my competency but the two boys from Yugakure were unknown variables.

One thing that had always proven true in scenarios where life hangs in the balance: always know what you’re dealing with. Surprised only worked well if you were implementing it on the enemy, not on yourself.

Had Hiruzen known something about the boys then, or perhaps of the Kazuhiro family, that would lead to their inclusion to the village?

Widening my eyes at my own revelation, I knew that had to be it. I pulled myself out of the water, sitting upright.

Hiruzen had been around for all three wars and must have come across Yugakure shinobi at least once during those times. How likely was it that he had met a Kazuhiro and learned something of their clan?

If that was the case then training the two teens would be beneficial for me and the village. I wouldn't want them to fail, or die, during the exams, the guilt of relaying their possible deaths to Kazuhiro-san notwithstanding.

Once in the exams however, their safety would most likely be reliant on me. I'll assume that we’ll be applying under Kakashi as our jounin instructor despite me training the two.

So I will just consider myself _Sensei_ then. Maybe I could even get Jun and Masa to call me that. I chuckled, amused by the thought.

I don't remember the exact details of the exam, only that there was a section in the Forest of Death and the match-up rounds, so I had to use all my wits and precognition to get ahead.

Just because I was confident in my abilities didn't mean I wanted Jun and Masa to fail either, which means I had to train them ASAP in wild animals and poisonous plants. Who could even guess if they've sparred with anyone other than themselves before, either?

Then there was the blasted thing of having to impress, and intimidate, others from different villages. My sole job, an unofficial mission you could say, was to show off my summons. The dragons were certain to be a big hit and visiting delegates would be hard-pressed to try anything when there was a dragon summoner around.

Though I knew, with inevitable anxiety, that my presence would alter this world’s timeline. A little or a lot, _something_ will change.

Back in my original world, I was just promoted to jounin around the time of the Chuunin Exams so I only have the experience of a brand new jounin fighting the invasion, not a time-travelling, universe-hopping genin.

I didn't even know when exactly Orochimaru reveals his presence which was causing even more worry to bubble up my throat.

I swallowed thickly, my lips pressing into a hard line.

My skills didn't leave me useless or defenseless but I was a gnat in comparison to the towering strength of the Sannin.

I had the power of knowing the immediate future- or at least, some future- albeit a bit foggy with my memory and different perspective but when it would actually count, would I be able to protect those I care about? Come out victorious as the Konoha of my world had?

The jounin were deployed the second the blaring alarm set off around the village. It was pulled by an ANBU who felt the disturbance of genjutsu chakra fill the stadium.

For myself, I was in my clan compound, dithering about after my promotion. The invasion gave me a chance to proudly show off my new status and made the entire debacle an entire lot less stressful than it is for me now.

Because instead of the prideful high of being a new jounin, I was entrusted with the care of two boys in a genin team.

This time around however, I'll make it so that there would be less casualties. There were many things that could have been done to protect the civilians of Konoha but all the manpower had gone into fighting off the Oto-Suna forces.

Then came the entire thing with Sasuke and his curse mark. Kakashi- dear, sweet husband Kakashi- had confessed to me one day about his guilt of not being able to save Sasuke from himself.

The curse mark wasn't what had completely turned his back on this village, it just fueled the darkness that was already inside the boy to begin with.

After working with him those few times, when Sasuke was absorbed in his jutsu or spar and his eyes were red and spinning, I can agree wholeheartedly. Taking the curse mark away would be nearly, if not more, as bad as allowing it because the dark haired Uchiha knew the power it gave and what it promised.

He’ll always seek out strength enough to destroy his brother. Only stopping after finding out the truth.

And _oh_ how tempted I was to tell him it outright. The only thing stopping me would be my immediate and severe punishment at T &I for knowing classified information about the village like that. How easy would it have been to just tell him the truth, but then again, most truths always were spun and covered by layers upon layers of lies.

Stopping Orochimaru from giving Sasuke the curse mark wasn't something I'll be planning to do, then. I'll try to protect the three genin as best as I can but most likely, I'll stick to observing them, as cruel as it may sound.

Some lessons were best learned through physical duress.

All this thinking and planning had kept me in my tub long enough for the water to go stale. No longer radiating warmth but instead a lukewarm blandness that reminded me of my own situation. I wasn't some hero, just someone who wanted to gather together anything she could salvage from her old world.

Stepping out of the tub and onto the cold tile, I looked down onto my hands, “Damn, they're pruny as hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my most hated chapter yet...I'll probably come back after this story is finished to redo some chapters, especially this one in particular!!!  
> It's more of a filler than anything, really. I just wanted to incorporate the two as easily as I could but it came out so...cheesy! And this chapter is incredibly short since I couldn't bear to continue it any longer, instead just cutting it off short and start a new chapter with a fresh slate.  
> ANYWAYS, the Chuunin Exam arc will start soon and honestly I'm dreading it since I'm so emotionally disconnected with this part of the manga that I can't force myself to revisit it. I read a lot of other Naruto fanfictions in my own time and there's a Chuunin Exam arc in nearly all of them so let's hope memory and repetition serves me well in the upcoming chapter, haha. There's a really important event that occurs however, so I can't just gloss this arc over (which I'll still try to do as much as possible).  
> As always, thanks for reading and supporting this story!


	11. Chuunin Exams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They dissect hearts in  
> Biology, cut them into  
> Pieces, but I wonder if
> 
> They could ever find out  
> Why you make me  
> Feel this way."

The two boys were now a part of my team, whatever it was called anyway (Team Kakashi ver. 2? Team 7.1?). Thus, their lodgings and all their other complementaries of being new Konoha citizens and ninja were thrust onto me. Not like I borrowed money regularly from outside sources and struggled feeding myself and my plant or anything.

"You two packed some sleeping bags, right? You'll have to make do with them since I don't have any extra futons for you." I told them after they entered my humble, little abode.

Just having two teenage boys in this tiny apartment made it seem packed already. Not a good sign.

Masa nodded his head toward me, "Yes, and thank you for hosting us. Until we have all our papers ready and settled down, I am afraid we will have to be depending on you for many things, Hinowa-san."

"Agreed! Much thanks, Lovely!" Jun added while picking at Sei's ribbon. I rushed over and swatted his hands after noticing; Sei was here before you so treat him with the respect he deserves.

After fixing a stern glare on the fifteen year old, complete with my hands at my waist and tapping my foot, I noticed his earlier words, "Lovely?"

"A-ah, yes," Jun laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. Fondly, I thought of Naruto. "If you do not mind it, may I request to call you by that nickname? I mean it in sincerity, not to make fun of you."

Arching a brow at the boy's request (because I kept forgetting that this _child_ has a crush on me, and I do mean child because my mental age is well over thirty years old), I responded, "Alright, whatever you want. Just, only when we're in private," Then, looking at the lecherous gleam shining through the red head's eyes. "Private. As in when we're together like a team. Otherwise, Hinowa-san is fine."

"You have my word, Lovely." Jun yipped out despite the narrowed look I was pointing at him.

Masa coughed to gather our attention, "When will the Chuunin Exams take place, Hinowa-san?"

"In exactly eight days," I turned to look at the worn calendar hanging on the wall opposite to me. "Participants, dignitaries, and other foreigners will start arriving tomorrow, so please don't be surprised by the sudden crowdedness in the village. In fact, I'm planning on training you guys the next morning."

This got the two teens to snap their heads up towards me. In their eyes were excitement, anxiousness, and a flame of a challenge. If I knew any better, I'd even say they already had a Will of Fire burning in them.

"Training? Lovely, I was anticipating when you would ask!" Jun yelled out, eager and standing on the balls of his feet.

Even Masa's usually peaceful and sometimes indifferent face broke out into a stunning grin.

* * *

"To your left!" I barked out as my fist aimed towards Jun's face. Despite my warning he didn't dodge fast enough, earning a sickening crunch to his nose.

The red head flew back from the strength of my punch but the faint rustle of fabric behind me didn't go unnoticed from Jun's hit. I whipped behind me quickly, catching the purple eyed boy in his attack.

Masa had a kunai pulled out and ready to hold against my neck but instead of flesh it was met with my own kunai. Metal for metal, we leaped into the air to clash our weapons together.

The teen surprisingly kept up with my speed, our figures only a flurry of browns, greens, orange, and silver. Only glints of metal signaled that the scuffle above was a shinobi spar and not some supernatural entity floating in the air.

The purple eyed boy did not have as much stamina as his cousin however, as I caught him taking a deep breath and then using it to my advantage to push my kunai forward. Masa had no choice but to quickly block the strike, hand wavering as my own strength overpowered him. Soon enough, Masa had to flip backwards onto his feet to disengage me before my kunai could cut through his arm and into his chest.

"To your left!" A voice behind me yells out, a high pitched shrill probably meant to tease me.

Jun's leg came dangerously close to my face. Everything went in slow motion as a few strands of my own hair flew in front of me as I turned, right as Jun came flying through with his leg. Thank the Gods I was able to dodge that. I was afraid my reaction time was getting rusty.

The three of us continued like that, sparring each other with our fists and weapons. Eventually, we moved on with ninjutsu and genjutsu.

I've quickly figured out, the hard way, that the two Kazuhiro boys had a special style of fighting. Jun was the physical powerhouse, able to hit back as hard as he got with the kind of stamina I've only seen in Naruto. While I dodged his seemingly endless hits and strikes, Masa stayed back to execute ninjutsu moves like bunshin and even Earth Release jutsu. When a large wall of dirt erupted from the ground after I heard a yell of "Earth Style: Earth Wall Jutsu!" I gathered that Masa was the ninjutsu specialist that would catch me off guard as Jun engaged with me.

Not a bad tactic at all. Too bad there were just so many duos like this out in the world and thus making it easy for experienced ninja to counter such strategy.

After the earth wall failed to crush me, I jumped back and summoned one shadow clone. That one was sent off to fight Masa while I handled Jun. Of course it was done secretly with a shunshin, the clone creeping up behind the other teen with none the wiser.

Masa was already going through the hand seals of another jutsu when a knee pushed against the backs of his own causing him to fall forward and land awkwardly. Before he could stand, a firm hand was holding his shoulder down as the other held a kunai against his throat.

Seeing as my clone dispatched one of the boys, it was all too easy to take down Jun now that there weren't any distractions.

Despite their above average display of teamwork, I still had managed to beat the both of them. Jun had pouted and whined while Masa smiled awkwardly as I smirked at the two of them, just like Kakashi would always do whenever he had beaten me in a challenge.

The smirk on my lips wavered a bit and I hurriedly rushed off any more lingering thoughts by going at the two boys again.

By the end of the day, I had won all of our sparring matches except for one: the last one. To be fair I was kind of tired and out of practice myself and decided to take it easy on them, not at all because of Jun's self proclaimed "undeniable prowess". If I was a little tough on them while healing their wounds later on, it was because of my own growing fondness for the boys.

Nonetheless, it was a good day today.

* * *

It was nearing evening by the time I sent the two boys back to my apartment to relax and I had decided to head over to Team 7 to see how they were doing.

I was just curious to see if things changed after I left, not at all worried about whether or not the kids and Kakashi have forgotten about me already.

Definitely not.

"Hinowa-chan! Where'd ya been all day? It was super boring without you y'know?" A familiar, boyish voice yelled out in front of me.

Speak of the devil, Team 7 seemed to be waltzing back from their practice today as well.

"Hello everyone, I just came back from training with Jun and Masa you see." I flashed a smile down at the children before glancing up to see the silver haired nin.

As usual he was in a slouch, orange book held up to his face, and looked completely uninterested on what was going on around him. If I didn't know him any better, I'd say that he was ready to just ditch us and leave any moment now. _But_ I did know him. The faintly deeper creases in his eye meant that he'd been smiling, genuinely, today and the way his eyes weren't following any words in the book meant that he was either listening in on our conversation or thinking about something else...or someone else.

My stomach plummeted at the thought that maybe he had found someone already. Someone that calmed him and protected him and loved him.

A traitorous voice in my head hissed that this Kakashi meant nothing to me. Right now, in this world, this Kakashi was the great Copy Nin, Master of A Thousand Jutsu and I was just a nobody.

A comparison between myself and Hatake Kakashi was very much like a firefly and a star.

The threat of awkwardness forced me to return back to my conversation.

"Training with those two? With that no-good pervert?!" Sakura asked, voice getting louder with each word. Even Sasuke gave me a look of incredulity.

"You haven't heard, have you?" I asked with a sigh, wanting to get irritated at Kakashi for not telling them (because he must have known that I was moved with another team, he _must_ have) but also not wanting to look at him again.

"Heard what?" The blonde boy asked with no level of formality.

I tried to fix on the most placating expression I could muster, "Jun, Masa, and I are being put on a team together. Technically, Hatake-san is our sensei but since the three of us already have much more mastery over basic genin, we're doing fine just practicing on our own."

I quietly left out the part where we were just a team meant to be shown off in the Chuunin Exams like some kind of animal show. We'd obviously get no missions as a genin team since it had to be led by our jounin sensei who, considering Kakashi, will not put in the effort to spend time with a team that was basically granted automatic Chuunin passes.

Our team was unnecessary. Hatake Kakashi didn't do unnecessary.

"That doesn't make any sense! I thought you were on Team 7!" Naruto cried out, completely ignoring the explanation I just gave him which earned him a bonk on the head from Sakura.

It was then that Kakashi decided to speak up, "Maa, sorry for all the trouble my cute, little genin have caused you." He drawled out without ever looking up from his book.

Then, directing towards the children, "We were actually headed somewhere right now so let's get going you three."

Before Naruto or Sakura could even try to jump in and invite me I quickly responded, "Of course, Hatake-san. It was no trouble of me to train with all of you and I'm grateful to have met you all first in Konoha. Sorry for taking your time but I'll be heading off as well to my own appointments."

I gave them all one last, insincere smile before walking off in a pace fast enough to turn the corner and disappear from their sight.

Exactly what they wanted right, or at least what Kakashi wanted of me. To just _disappear_.

His words from just moments ago rang through my head, " _We_ were actually headed somewhere…"

 _We_ as in _not you_.

If that wasn't enough of a signal to tell me to _get lost!_ I didn't know what was. Kakashi did have a flair for the subtle things and all ninja were trained to pick up on the discrete, hidden messages from our words after all.

Maybe they actually did have something important to get to? But maybe they were just heading to their after practice meal at Ichiraku's and Kakashi didn't want the kids to go and invite me and make things awkward.

Loud, strong, and anger-fueled curse words filled my head at the thought.

I wanted to get mad at Kakashi but I knew logically that it wasn't his fault that he wanted nothing to do with me. From his perspective, he had a suspicious outsider in his team with the _jinchuuriki_ and the _last Uchiha_ , both of whom are highly valuable and targetable for spies or infiltrators. Now that he's got me off his hands he can breath easy and not worry about whether or not he has to kill me in front of his kids every time I reached for a weapon.

I knew who I was in this world and that was an outsider.

 _Still hurt, though_. I pushed myself against the wall of an alleyway I had turned into, not wanting to walk listlessly and I thought about all that was wrong with me being in this world.

I took a few, deep breaths to steady my shaking shoulders. My eyes were watering like crazy but I'll be damned if I let this world, this Kakashi, make me cry again.

Why waste my tears on people who didn't even give a damn about me? Who'd sleep better if they knew I was gone and no longer some kind of security risk?

I scrunched my brows together as my teeth rang with a dull throb. Slowly, ever so slowly, I got my bearings back together and stopped clenching my jaw.

Stepping out of the alleyway, I headed towards a local mart to pick up something for me and the boys to eat tonight.

* * *

A cat-masked ANBU stills at the sight of the shaking woman in the alleyway.

After coming back from a successful mission, security around Tatsuya Hinowa loosened up a bit. At least for ANBU standards. Instead of two constant surveillance ninja, there was now only one.

Still, the cat-masked operative was taken aback at the woman's sudden outburst. He was about to call for backup the second his charge looked to be trying to get him off her trail, winding through streets and taking sharp corners at every chance. That was until she stopped in an alleyway, leaned against the wall, and looked close to having a breakdown.

Her body was trembling and her face was pinched in all the wrong places, making her look like a caricature of herself.

For all the training ANBU had gotten, he knew next to nothing about how to deal with distressed women other than just silencing them altogether.

After the woman recollected herself and found whatever kind of resolution she had, the masked nin nearly let a sigh of relief when she left the alley and went to a nearby convenience mart.

He was smart enough to know to never develop any kind of feelings or attachment to anyone while in ANBU but he couldn't help the slight pang of satisfaction (relief?) at knowing she hadn't had some breakdown.

Shaking his head, perhaps he should still call backup anyways since he now had to watch over three outsiders every time his charge met up with her team.

* * *

Before I knew it, eight days have gone by and it was the morning of the Chuunin Exams.

The days leading up to this was filled with hardcore training, with the kids and without them, as well as a ruthless kind of meditation that revolved around me hitting a kicking bag over and over.

If Jun or Masa noticed the hardness that fell on my eyes or how I've been pushing them a little more- leading to no practice left unscathed- they didn't mention it. Our sham of a team quickly lapsed into a solemn understanding that we had to pass the Chuunin Exams no matter what or risk being deported.

Or worse, have memories of everything about Konoha forcefully wiped.

For all of this morning's pleasant breeze and blue skies, the air in the village was thick with competition and _danger._

How the hell did I not notice this the first time around when I had just been appointed to jounin and should have easily picked up on the tenseness surrounding the village? Maybe I was too naive then. Only following orders and assuming that the Hokage would protect me if I was in the village.

I've been in too many wars to have an excuse to be this sheltered, pitiful _girl_ who refused to open her eyes to the real world and see it for what it is.

There was going to be an invasion today. Suna and Oto would wrap itself around this village and attempt to squeeze the life out of it. We would win in the end, but only after Naruto defeats the Ichibi and its jinchuuriki as well as Hiruzen sacrificing himself.

That last thought made me pause, making me look like those stereotypical "weird" ninja that stood in the middle of the street with a blank look on their faces. I quickly ducked under the awning of a sweets shop nearby, making it seem like I was just admiring the food instead of thinking about the death of a man who was like a father figure to me.

A father figure that I would have to watch die again.

Maybe I should have tried harder and went to see him more often. I was too damn busy chasing after Kakashi in some desperate attempt for some normalcy or recognition. I'll admit it, as much as I had told myself not to see the two as the same- because they are not the same, this one has hurt me more than my husband ever did- I very much wanted to have that relationship again.

But now it's too late. I avoided Hiruzen because I was bitter at him for using me as some political tool and I was afraid that he would become even more suspicious of me if I displayed an interest in the _Hokage_ as an outsider.

It's too late and he's going to die again and I can't do anything about it because I'm weak, always too weak, to stand up against Orochimaru or even speak up to give a warning.

I let out a shuddering breath and blinked my building tears away.

From behind me I could feel the approaching chakra of the two teenaged boys that were unfortunately tied to me. Their reason for coming to Konoha was pure and inspiring but they were naive as well. I didn't have the heart to tell them that we were essentially going to be used as show-animals during the one on one fights.

"Lovely! There you are. We were looking for you as we decided that we should be heading towards the testing facilities."

Jun reached a hand out to my shoulder which I deftly dodged with a side step turn. A flash of hurt went through his navy blue eyes.

I quickly tried remedied that with a pleasant tone, "Sorry for keeping you two waiting. I was just looking for some breakfast."

Masa arched a delicate brow and looked over my shoulders, "Breakfast from a sweets shop? I did not take you as one who likened to eat sugary foods in the morning."

"Well, it was open and nearby so I just came here since it was convenient. Have you two eaten yet?" I coughed awkwardly.

"No, lovely, we have not. Perhaps we can stop at another store as we head towards the Academy?" Jun asked, tone hopeful yet tinged with worry. What was he worried about?

We ended up getting half a dozen boiled eggs that I carried in a small plastic bag.

At the Academy, the three of us caught sight of a large group of participants crowded on one floor. I had already warned the two about keeping to themselves and not to attract attention since we didn't need to be targeted so early on by opposing teams. However, Jun chose this _opportune_ moment to yell out and exposed the genjutsu placed by the "guards". Thank the gods I caught him opening that big mouth of his before a single syllable came out of it.

I grabbed the back of his yukata-styled shirt roughly and whispered to him, "Don't say it. We'll just walk through it casually and act like nothing happened. If we get stopped, let me do the talking."

The red head bobbed his head up and down in understanding and I could count on Masa being able to hear us because he was close by too.

After fixing himself, the three of us walked forward as a unit with the two boys flanking my sides. I'd like to think we radiated an air of toughness around us with our stiff backs and synchronized walk.

(Though somewhere on a rooftop in a nearby building, a cat masked ANBU is holding back a snicker of laughter from seeing his charge's team try to act cool.

Synchronized walking? Geez.)

We dispelled the genjutsu and walked through easily, gaining only the briefest nods from the "guards" and making our way into the test room.

I mentally wiped a sweat off my brow at how lucky we were that Naruto and the rest of the Konoha 12 weren't there. We'd gotten here fairly early despite the simple breakfast and I was thankful that we didn't come across the blonde and his friends.

The three of us were separated for the exam and slowly the other participants trickled into the room. Eventually, Team 7 came through and I jerked my head down to avoid meeting any of their gazes. I didn't want anyone else to think that they could use the children against me if they saw me being friendly with them.

As usual, Naruto went on a spiel on his own and made a grand entrance.

My head was down for all of it, even while Ibiki explained the rules and instructions of the first test.

Looking down at my paper, they were all questions that were purposefully difficult to genin since you had to have the experience of at least chuunin to know what it's even talking about.

_A captured enemy refuses to disclose the information regarding a particular code that would be used to translate an enemy ninja's correspondence letters. List the steps you should take to interrogate them correctly and coerce the captured enemy into revealing this code. The captured enemy should not die before the code is obtained._

Capture and interrogation missions were saved only for tokubetsu jounin and jounin given the high rate of things that could go wrong during one such missions. There was no way a genin would know the proper steps unless they've somehow gotten their sensei to tell them or something.

I let out a small huff and realized what this test was for. If it's too hard for genin, then the chuunin that are not so secretly planted in here are the ones with the answers needed to fill in the test. It was a test to see how well you could gather intel; how well you cheat.

My eyes bore down on the paper and I hoped that Jun and Masa figured out what they had to do as well.

I tapped my pencil lightly on the desk below me. If only I could summon my dragons to help them...

* * *

Sakura discreetly looked across from her desk to the dark haired woman calmly filling in her test paper. She wondered how her ex-pseudo teammate was able to answer these questions. Sakura was an intelligent girl. Her brains were the only thing that had set her apart from the others who had special bloodlines or were some sort of prodigy.

Seeing her knowledge prove useless at the first part of the exam made what little confidence in her wilt away. At this rate, if she can't even pass this test then she'll never be a chuunin. Sasuke would move on without her and then she'll be alone.

The sharp eyes of one of the proctors in front of her forced the pink haired girl to look back down at her paper.

She read over the questions again and again, proving that she really didn't understand any of this. They were just too hard because these questions weren't meant for genin!

 _Chyaa! That must be it! We weren't meant to answer them at all! I mean why else would they put these questions in here if not to test us, not on our knowledge but on how well we can see "underneath the underneath"?! Kakashi-sensei actually taught us something!_ Sakura's inner voice furiously yelled out.

The pinkette readily agreed with her inner self, accepting the explanation easily because she's read everything on being a genin ninja so that questions not meant for her rank were spotted clearly.

Hinowa-san is probably just doodling on her page. It was what the pinkette did when she was bored in class and had taken notes the night before.

Just as she finished a six-petalled flower, a gruff voice hissed beside her.

"That woman can't be an actual genin, right?" The boy with an Iwa headband muttered to himself while looking in Hinowa's direction.

Unknown to Sakura, this boy got his answers from the dark haired woman herself through a surveillance jutsu he used.

At hearing the boy's remark, Sakura felt a flare of cruelty rise up in her.

_Of course she's a genin, dumbass! Just wait until we get out of this room so you and the back of my hand can get acquainted! Shannaro!_

The pinkette sniffed at the boy, who was confused at Sakura's sudden hostility, and continued on with doodling. This time, she drew a cartoon version of herself smashing rocks that may or may not have looked like the famous Iwa mountains.

* * *

By the time Ibiki wheedled everyone out and revealed the true nature of the exam, I was pleased to see that Jun and Masa still stayed even after the trench-coat-wearing man's threat of never being able to take the exam again. Although Jun's hand trembled a bit, something I'd have to talk to him later about. His resolve needs to be as solid as the Shodai trees if he wanted to get through this exam. Alive, at least.

Naruto went through this dramatic speech- which I kept my head down for in case I met his, or any other Konoha 12 eyes- and I swore I could feel Jun wanting to yell right back. If only to show that he could be loud too. I'd have to talk to him about that as well, then.

I felt the familiar, edgy chakra that defined Anko close in quickly into the room. I kept my head down inconspicuously even after she busted in with her banner, bright and garish with red paint.

With her flair for dramatics, I'm surprised Anko didn't try to release her snakes into room just to spook people off.

At the front gates of the Forest of Death, the 44th training ground, I met back up with Jun and Masa.

"Hey, guys." I greeted with a lopsided smile. It was nice to have them here, knowing you have someone to fall back on.

"Lovely, it is good to see you. I knew all along, of course, that the test was for naught and was only meant to te-"

The red head's mouth is quickly muffled by his cousin's own, which didn't necessarily stop his rambling. It only just muffled it.

"Stop it, Jun. We all understand now that the test was something else entirely. No need to tell Hinowa-san's ear off about it."

I grinned at their good-natured display.

The gate in front of us rumbled a bit with chakra and I could tell Masa could feel it too. The two of us rushed in front of it, taking on a readying stance seeing as the gates were about to open. It was Jun who scrambled, awkwardly next to me, whose chakra sensing wasn't all too good and was prompted to move after seeing us.

Like a timer, the rattling of the metal fence grew louder and louder before, _CRASH!_

The gate in front of us swung out away from us and then we immediately started flying through the tops of the wood with chakra-enhanced speed.

"Go with the plan." I bit out, my voice slightly altered from the speeding winds rushing past us.

Two, quick nods replied back to me.

Jun fell back, following Masa at about five meters while I jumped into the shadows and concealed my chakra.

Masa is our sensor, his abilities to see chakra was far stronger than mine so he's been placed in the front where he could detect any incoming or nearby enemies.

Jun is a taijutsu specialist. Nowhere near Gai's level, or even Lee's but good enough to merit a good spar between the two of us. He is Masa's immediate backup should the orange haired teen pick something up.

My role in this formation is to be the ambush. Masa and Jun would make contact with the enemy and try to wear them down and distract them until it was my time to come in. From which point I engage as well, or if they're smart enough, willingly concede their scroll.

Our own Heaven scroll was tucked safely into Masa's hakama. I prayed that we find an earth scroll soon just so that I can conceal my dragon summons until the actual one-on-one fights.

"Three signatures. At my eleven." Masa raised his voice above a whisper, the sound only carrying to me and Jun.

Before long three genin from Kusa appeared before us. The two to the sides of the triad were burly and genuinely looked to be no more than hired goons but it was the _person_ in the middle who made my eyes narrow in concern.

From my perch a few branches above them I could see how unnatural the woman (man? human?) looked compared to everyone else in this confrontation. Her skin was a deathly gray and seemed to barely cling to her face and body, as if being held there with water and glue.

Her voice, if it was possible to even sound more inhuman, rang out like a snake's warning hiss, "Who do we have here? Konoha genin? I do not remember you two being a part of Konoha's active force...Speaking of you two, can the third one please join us from her perch, little bird? It is rude to not show yourself."

Before the other two from my team could react irrationally on my part, I jumped down and landed between our teams to face the woman. Seeing her up close, with her unblinking yet too intelligent eyes, I am certain I know who she is now.

 _Orochimaru_.

I held back a disgusted cry, my mind racing as I tried to come up with some kind of plan to deal with meeting the snake sannin so early on. I expected to come across him as he was engaging with Team 7, hopefully combining our two teams would be enough to get to the tower and/or seek help.

Now that Orochimaru is right in front of me, no more than a couple meters away, I was choking up. Badly.

"Ahh, so the little bird finally joins us. Tell me, who are you? I am afraid I am unaware of Konoha's new team, unless my own intel was incorrect." Orochimaru's icy voice was nearly above a whisper yet it carried out through the branches we stood on. Is this what it meant when they say "a true queen does not need to raise her voice to be heard"?

"I am Kazuhiko Jun, heir to the Kazuhiko clan." The red head announced proudly yet I my eyebrow twitched at his sudden outburst. Now the snake sannin knows about your clan, _great_.

"Kazuhiko?...hmm." Recognition flashes through the imposter's eyes at the name. Orochimaru had probably met with a Kazuhiko on the battlefield. "I assume both you and your sensor are of that clan. You both reek the same scent."

The two cousins widen their eyes, still blissfully unaware of who exactly they are dealing with. Though I can see that they're slowly coming to the conclusion that the creature in front of them is _dangerous_.

"And what about you, little bird. A pretty thing such as yourself shouldn't need to put herself in danger like this. You look much more fitted to tending a brood and home." Amusement filled those shady orbs and I swear I heard a grunt of laughter from the statue-esque goons.

My hands clenched and I forced down the wave of anger.

 _He's goading you. Don't fall for it. He_ wants _you to attack first._

"What scroll do you have?" I nearly growl out from my still clenched teeth. I would have to choose my words carefully to avoid them from knowing our scroll and any other information.

Quietly, I stepped up to hide the two behind me as I faced the snake sannin head on.

"Heaven." The imposter smiles out, a faint laugh coming from behind those deadened lips.

Before I could blink, the imposter was before me. I took in a sharp breath and I heard Jun cry out my name.

The snake sannin bent his head down near my ear. His skin was cold as ice; no warmth radiated off his flesh.

"Tell your sensor to hold onto your scroll. There is no more point in staying any longer. But I will expect to see you soon, my little bird. For now I have other things to attend to." His voice snaked itself into the inner of my ear while the rank smell of decaying flesh hit my nose.

* * *

**Ch. 11 is just a roller coaster of emotions, huh?! Hinowa's sad, mad, AND glad!**

**Well, this story is marked under Romance/Hurt/Comfort so...**

**The dragons haven't made an appearance in a while so I was thinking of making an extra featuring them, so do you guys have anything you want to see involving Hinowa's dragons? I'm open to suggestions and I'll try to incorporate all of them into that chapter.**

**I've always been super interested in the kind of technical stuff ninja have to remember like the proper steps of interrogation or setting up and leaving a camp. No wonder I watch a lot of survival shows lol.**

**Sakura passed the written part by not writing at all and I wanted to emphasize the fact that she still sees Hinowa in a kind light, as much as a little girl who doodles herself smashing mountains can. I seriously love Sakura, just one of my favorite characters honestly. I should make a fic involving her actually...**

**And Orochimaru makes an appearance! What could he want with Hinowa? How has her interference change the timeline? Obviously, I'd expect Orochimaru to have some scouts gather intel on the teams, villages, and participants that entered the Chuunin exams beforehand, like months before, but Hinowa and her team joined more recently so she was an unknown variable. Oro doesn't do unknown variables so we'll see how this pans out.**

**As always, thanks for reading!**

**Comments/Kudos/Bookmarks = Author Motivation = Faster Updates**


	12. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm tired, tired of being enclosed here. I'm wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there; not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart; but really with it, and in it."
> 
> -Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

 

Rough hands were on me and I had been spun around to see Jun and Masa's worried faces. Orochimaru had just been here right in front of me. He could have killed me easily, could have killed the two boys who had so much more to live for _easily_.

The thought sent a shiver up my spine.

"What were you thinking, jumping in front of us like that? We agreed that you would only interfere after Masa and I weakened the enemy!" Jun was shaking me hard yet I couldn't get my eyes to focus on him. Distantly, I thought that had Orochimaru not seen whatever it was he saw in me then I wouldn't be alive right now. And if I wasn't here, who knows what'd happen to Konoha then.

...

"-wa! Hinowa! Are you even listening to me?" The familiar tone yells at me, and slowly I acknowledge the faces in front of me.

"Jun? Masa?"

"Yes, it's us." Then, gently removing his hands from my shoulders, the red headed teen continues, "Are you okay, lovely?"

Masa steps closer and his own face asks a similar question.

"...Yeah, think so."

The forest, who had been so guiltily quiet throughout the whole ordeal, finally resumed the swaying of its leaves, the calls of the wildlife, and even the small sounds of a water source nearby. As if time had stopped when Orochimaru was here, now that he's gone life once more continues.

My head turns towards where I felt distant chakra signatures- not _that_ man's- and then I make an assessing thought before turning back to the two teens.

"There's a team just forty meters west of here. If we hurry we'll be able to catch up to them. Let's hope they have an Earth scroll." I command them in a clipped, hurried tone. Just as I was readying myself to chase after the other team, a firm hand is clasped on my wrist. I look down at the wrist that was seized, following the offender up the length of his arm to his face.

Masa gives me a stern look though his voice is laced with worry, "We cannot just pursue after another team, Hinowa-san. You are still quite shaken up, so I think it is best if we recuperate for an hour as we gather our senses?"

My own eyes blink back at him vacantly at first but like a summer storm, my mood shifts instantly. Though Masa was gentle in his suggestions I couldn't persuade the anger that suddenly shot through me to stop itself. If only I could have stopped myself from blowing up at him, at least.

"Gather our senses?! You've got to be fucking kidding me if you think we can just _relax_ after encountering Orochimaru!" Then, after seeing the confusion in their shocked faces, "Oh, don't even tell me...You don't know who that man was? The one so obviously wearing a person's face like some kind of fucked up suit? We can't afford to relax! We need to get the other scroll so that we can head to the tower and tell the Hokage to warn them about him! We need to get reinforcements!"

I was near hysterical at that point, my arms flailing around me while it took sheer will to keep my chakra from spiking and alerting any others to our location.

It was Jun, proud and brave Jun, who stepped forward, "We know who Orochimaru of the Sannin is. We understand how dangerous he is as well, but how are you sure that that person was him? It was a woman, no? And even then you cannot make accusations like that, lovely."

"It's him because I _know_ it's him!" I racked my mind for anything to convince the two.

"Didn't that person feel unnatural to you? Masa, you could feel it right?"

"I will agree that it was not normal. It felt oddly as if there were some kind of blanket over that person's chakra." He nodded his head gravely.

"Please, please believe me you two. If I mean anything to you, you've got to trust me and follow through with this plan." I pleaded to them as much as I could. I needed them to be on board with this makeshift plan because even I didn't expect to see Orochimaru so early into the exams.

The two Kazuhiko cousins looked at each other, a conversation passing through eyes and thoughts alone. After what almost seemed like an eternity, the two looked back at me.

"We will follow you, Hinowa-san, since you have not steered us wrong yet." Masa offered a hesitant, albeit weary, smile.

"Lovely, you know that I have promised to chase after you until you return my own affections, yes?" Jun gave me a cocky, radiant smile and after seeing the two stand so confidently next to my side, I couldn't stop my own smile from breaking through as relief flooded through me.

Feeling overly emotional at the moment I launched a hug at both of them.

"You two are good kids, you know that? Now let's hurry, the chakra signatures I felt are getting farther and farther away."

I pulled away from the two and we nodded to each other once more before falling back into formation.

* * *

As their dark haired teammate jumps back into the higher branches of the trees, she misses the concerned look the two teens gave her way.

The boy with short, red hair shook his head clear of any ill thoughts, jumping ahead and tuning into his chakra senses.

It was the second boy, with orange plaited hair and blue eyes like an ocean's depth, that nursed the worry he had about his teammate.

Tatsuya Hinowa looked down right perturbed after encountering that team from Kusa, her eyes were glazed over and she seemed locked away in her own mind. After hearing her accuse the Kusa woman, who seemed dangerous and disgusting all at once, as Orochimaru of the Sannin, he was near ready to yell out "Kai!" in case Hinowa had been put under a genjutsu.

It took those pleading eyes and wavering voice to convince the two teens that she was genuinely sure that that person was indeed one of the fabled Three. Jun could only hope that whatever plan Hinowa had thought up of, it would work.

The three eventually caught up to the team headed west. Both teams faced each other after landing on opposite sides of a clearing.

One from Konoha, the other from Iwa.

"If you don't have a Heaven scroll then fuck off!" One of the Iwa genin barks out, his hitai-ate nestled on top of his unruly blonde hair. His two partners, a girl and boy, stand behind him looking a little worse for wear.

"Thank you for announcing what scroll you have, you brat!" Jun, the more hot headed of the two Kazuhiro, retorts back.

Just as the blonde sputtered and was about to fire back an insult of his own, the two teens jumped forward and initiated a taijutsu brawl between the blonde and the other boy.

The girl- who had short, cropped, black hair- only lets out a gasp as she inches backwards, unaware of the figure who stood behind her. It didn't take long before her back met something solid.

"Aa-" She lets out before a hand lands over her mouth. The girl could only panic as she glances up and sees what she assumes is the third member of the team that had bumped into her own.

"Give me the scroll and we can leave. Your teammates won't have to fight mine's any longer if you do." The woman- tall and seemingly so sure of herself the girl can't help but be envious- demands seriously.

The Iwa genin only shakes her head furiously, Misano and Komura trusted her to make sure the scroll would be kept safe. If she failed them now they'll never forgive her.

"Give me, the scroll." The woman continues, her voice halting yet growing harder with each word.

"From the looks of things, your team just recently fought with another not too long ago. Those two guys, from my team, they're itching for a good fight. I don't know if I'll be able to stop them from killing your own boys, by the way." She continues, her voice steady as if she was reading off any other mission scroll. As if it wasn't her team's lives she was threatening.

"If you decide to be difficult with me, your teammates will just die and I'll be forced to kill you too. It's your choice, give it to me willingly and I'll call my team off, or you keep refusing and all three of you will die right here."

The girl glances back at the clearing, the two boys trying so hard to defend themselves against the brutal kicks and blows from the older teens. It was clear that they were nearing a breaking point.

She could only repeat apologies in her head as she nods and fishes for the scroll inside a pocket of her shirt.

Once the scroll was in the woman's hand, she disappears and the girl finds herself and her team alone in the clearing. The rattling of the wind and trees are the only thing left behind from the encounter with a team that seemed too strong to be genin.

With nothing left to show for, no scroll or stamina to continue, the girl only hopes that they make it back home alive.

Hinowa may have been a bit rough on that little Iwa girl and her team but it may have been her own lingering grudge against them from another life. All that really mattered now was that they had both Heaven and Earth scrolls and were covering considerable ground towards the tower in the center of the forest.

By the time they got there, panting and sweating from exerting themselves, the sun was slowly setting. The sky was a creamy orange blending into the baby blue of the earlier day.

The dragon mistress places both scrolls on the ground, completely ignoring the scroll on the wall that gave sound advice. She already knew from the first world that nearly all chuunin helped to conduct the exams and more than likely were supposed to be put into the scrolls. The small chakra she could feel in the rolled up paper even confirmed that indeed, this was a sealing and summoning scroll.

"Lovely, I do not think we should open them." Jun cautions, placing a hand on her shoulder.

The woman only glances up and smiles at the soon-to-be blushing teen before sliding the scrolls open anyways.

Instantly, a poof of smoke emerges and as that cleared, Hagane Kotetsu stands where the smoke had once been. He looks cheerful, ready to greet and congratulate the genin team for making it through but stops himself after seeing the grim faces of the notorious new team that was created shortly before the exams started.

"Ah, Tatsuya-san. Um-" He starts but it promptly cut off.

"Sorry Hagane-san, no time for that. We have matters that need to be seen to immediately and you must inform the Hokage as soon as possible. Orochimaru of the Sannin was seen six kilometers north-east from here just after the second part of the exams kicked off. We had come across him and his team after our sensor picked up their chakra signatures. Orochimaru is disguised as a woman from Kusa and his two teammates seem nothing more than grunts, though I would still take caution. Please, call for backup before anything worse happens. "

The dark haired woman let out a deep breath after giving a detailed explanation of their status report. If everything goes to plan, Orochimaru will be caught or at least weakened and the invasion will be held off.

Kotetsu was professional enough to look shocked for a few, brief moments before nodding in affirmative. He glances to the two boys behind Hinowa before looking back at her and speaking, "I'll go and summon some reinforcements. At the moment, there are only chuunin readily available until I'm able to tell the Hokage and get the jounin and ANBU assembled. Thank you for reporting this."

"It is my duty." She answers gravely. Konoha always has and will be the epitome of her loyalty after all.

"Nonetheless, I'll make do with the chuunin until further resources are available."

The bandaged man was about to nod in reply until Jun jumped towards the pair, "What are you speaking of, lovely? Do you plan to chase after that man too? If he truly is Orochimaru of the Sannin then it is too dangerous! We cannot hope to face him just yet."

"I understand that, Jun. That's why only I'm going. I have a lead on his chakra and can easily identify him. You two will stay with Hagane-san and gather more reinforcements."

This time it was Masa who spoke, "We cannot leave you in good faith, Hinowa-san. Jun is correct, it is too dangerous for genin."

"But we're _not_ genin! Haven't you noticed? With our skills we could have easily made chuunin, this 'team' was just to show the other nations that Konoha is growing in power!" She screeched out, immediately regretting it after seeing the teens' scorned faces and hearing Kotetsu's own awkward cough.

Hinowa lets out a long breath before composing herself. Now was not the time to be breaking down when the village was in danger.

"I'm going." She says with finality and this time no one speaks against her.

* * *

"Keep to the back. We won't be able to protect you when we face off with Orochimaru but at least you'll be kept off the front lines." A gruff man with brown hair and big, clear eyes directs me. I nod in affirmative despite getting a sinking feeling that I'll have to barge in since my skills as a jounin still lingered.

Not long after, a group of eleven chuunin in a V formation starts heading out towards where Orochimaru was last sighted. I followed dutifully after giving them a head start.

Foliage was passing by in a blur at the speed we were going but it didn't take long before a tell-tale sign, a large snake, rises above the trees in the distance. My heart rate quickens as I fall back into the rush of battle, the blood in my veins singing at the prospect of a real fight.

"Sasuke!" The shrill voice of a certain pinkette cries out. We arrived too late to stop Orochimaru from giving the Uchiha his curse mark but at least Sakura was still safe.

"Orochimaru! Step away from the boy!" The man who spoke to me earlier- apparently the leader of this group- orders the Sannin.

Skin was peeling off grotesquely and it's obvious that Orochimaru couldn't hide behind the guise of his skin suit any longer. The viscous curl of his lips is the last thing I see before I turn around to chase after the snake.

I felt a small pang of guilt for leaving the chuunin, Sakura, and Sasuke behind to deal with Orochimaru but the snake summon had to be neutralized before it attacked any more genin.

Sprinting off in the opposite direction, I skidded to a halt on a branch as I threw a kunai to its large head. Immediately, the summon whirls its head towards me, lopping off large branches in the process. Now that I had its attention I had to shunshin down to the ground to dodge the head ramming towards where I stood.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" I cry out before nipping my thumb and slamming it onto the ground below. There was no way I was going to fight a summon with my bare hands when I had summons of my own.

A plume of smoke and a sleek, viridian colored dragon rushes out. Its body thinner yet much longer than the snake's own size.

_Princess, you have called for me in this form. What do you wish for me to destroy?_

The deep baritone of Ryuujin-sama's voice resonates through my mind as the dragon circles above me though the long, white whiskers brush against me affectionately each time his head passes by.

Ryuujin-sama's chakra was nothing to scoff at. Though it came in fluctuating waves, it carried with it a wild and ruthless strength reminiscent of the sea. Orochimaru's summon did well in recognizing a threat when it saw the dragon.

"Destroy that snake, Ryuujin-sama. I ask of you this favor!" My voice bellows out and with that command the coiling dragon plunges towards me.

I expertly jump onto the snout of Ryuujin-sama and soon enough we are shooting straight at the snake, wind pushing past us as my hair flies behind me. As the two summons meet, Ryuujin-sama easily coils himself around the snake as I jump onto it.

Its cries were pained and pitiful as it was being choked out and I hurried through the hand seals to make a chakra scalpel.

The snake continued to hiss out and it grew even louder as I drove my scalpels into its thick skin, hopefully reaching the brain and killing it instantly.

I hopped back onto Ryuujin-sama as he uncoiled himself off the limp snake, the creature's body falling with a large thump onto the dirt. Getting back down, I walked back up to the snake and placed a hand on top of its scales to confirm its death.

My brows furrowed in confusion.

_What is it, Princess? Is that vile snake not dead?_

I shook my head, "No, it should be but I feel this chakra signature inside it anyways. It feels awfully like-"

I couldn't finish my observations because all of a sudden the middle of the snake bursts open, its guts flying out messily, and a certain blonde is standing in front of me with a sheepish look and a kunai in hand.

"Naruto!" I hurried over to the boy and put my hands on his shoulders, running a Mystical Palm over him to check for any injuries.

"Ehehe, sorry 'bout that Hinowa-chan! I was halfway through to being digested until suddenly everything went still, so I got my kunai out. Then bam! I sliced through and here I am, dattebayo!"

I release a relieved sigh and smile gently at the boy. He seems all alright, if his bright attitude was anything to go by.

"I don't want to be the bringer of bad news but you have to get out of here, Naruto. I'm meeting back up with the chuunin to hold off Orochimaru but you have to head towards the tower, alright?" My face fell seriously while I spoke to the short blonde.

"Wha- Who's Orochimaru? And what about Sasuke and Sakura? I can't leave them behind, Hinowa-chan! Those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash!"

My face blanks as I gape at the boy. Naruto stood there with his fists clenched and his face determined, wholly believing in his words.

_Those words...They sound familiar, do they not, Hime?_

"Those are Kakashi's..." I whisper off. I was still on my knees, staring at nothing in disbelief when Naruto suddenly pipes up.

"Gah! A dragon! Is it that same one from last time? No, actually this one is green and more bigger!"

"Hello, child." Ryuujin-sama greets cordially as he hovers around us, his whiskers playfully flicking itself lightly on the boy's head.

"It can talk too! Gahaha!" Naruto jumps up to grab one of the whiskers before it is quickly yanked back to its owner. I stop a sweat drop that suddenly formed on my head from dropping.

"'It' has a name, Naruto-kun. This is Ryuujin-sama, one of my biggest summons." I lift myself back onto my feet and dust my knees off.

"As well as her most favored summon." The viridian dragon adds in smugly.

"Naruto," I try to get the boy's attention back on me seeing as the blonde was busy trying to catch whiskers that were obviously always going to stay just out of reach, "Get back to the tower. Ryuujin-sama and I are heading back to fight Orochimaru."

"No! I'm coming with you two! I don't know who this Orochimaru guy is but I can take him on, dattebayo!"

I was about to just knock him out or force him somehow to get to safety until Ryuujin-sama spoke up, "Let the boy come, Hime. He should be able to return to his comrades at the very least."

My brow twitches erratically as Naruto fist bumps the air and yells out, "Yeah! Thanks Cool Old Dragon!"

"Of-of course, Ryuujin-sama."

We head back to where the chuunin are dealing with Orochimaru on Ryuujin-sama's head but what greets us is a massacre.

Bodies littered the floor and behind me Naruto gulps nervously. Four chuunin were still left alive, three engaged with Orochimaru in the distance while one is leaning against the side of a tree while clutching his bleeding chest.

"The two genin from earlier?" I question immediately as I rushed towards the man with brown hair and big, clear eyes. My hands are immediately trying to mend the broken flesh.

"Had the pink one...take themselves back to the tower." He wheezes out, his lungs filled with blood.

His hands jerkily pushed my own away from him, "Don't bother. Not gonna make it. Try to help the...others."

My mouth forms a grim line and I'm forced to swallow the bile in my throat. It was a tough choice. _Kami_ , why does it always have to be a tough choice?

 _Even back then, in Iwa, they told me to go on without them. That they were dead men already and that I was the only one with a chance of getting out alive_ , I think bitterly. My eyes squeeze shut for a moment as I allow myself a brief moment to mourn for my dead partners as well as the man before me.

After gathering myself I look into the man's clear eyes once more as I nodded, leaving him and going back to Naruto.

"Where's Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan?" The boy asks worriedly, standing by Ryuujin-sama and petting his green scales. I carefully note that the dragon positioned himself in a way to block Naruto's sight from seeing the corpses.

"Sasuke is hurt, Naruto," And before the boy could cut me off I raise a hand, "Sakura took him back towards the tower where it is _safe_ so you need to go back too. Please."

Flashes of consideration go through the boy's eyes though he still accepts, albeit reluctantly, "Okay then, Hinowa-chan. But promise me you'll be alright! Promise!"

I hold out a pinky finger and the boy quickly latches on with his own, "I promise, Naruto."

I watch as he smiles happily- maybe more for my sake than his own- and he vanishes into the shroud of trees. My hand feels warm though my insides ring hard and cold.

_Perhaps you should not make promises you may not keep._

Ruefully, I turn my head to ignore the dragon's callous words and stalk to where there were sounds of metal hitting metal.

Orochimaru impaled the Konoha chuunin easily with Kusanagi, the tsurugi sliding out of the body like nothing. The chuunin drops dead, occupying the ground along with two other bodies. He flicks the blood off the blade with a quick twist of the wrist as his eyes latch onto mine.

"Just you and me now, little bird. I waited for your arrival." The grey pallor of the man radiated killing intent, harsh and vicious. He wears the same smile as he did before, grinning as if all this had been some kind of inside joke between the two of us.

"I wonder if you will sing for me, little bird. Let me hear your sweet song." All at once he came rushing forwards, Kusanagi raised and aimed for my heart. I was fast but the Legendary Sannin was even faster.

I dodge as quickly as I could but I couldn't avoid the sharpness of the metal from cutting a small wound into my right shoulder. I bit back a scream and clutch the wound with my palm. Orochimaru grins even wider, licking the blood off of Kusanagi as his eyes fill with madness.

"As sweet as I expected. But what's this? You have a _dragon_ summon?...How interesting. Such mythical creatures exist in this world after all. Though it's hardly fair if your beast interferes with our affairs, little bird." He gives Ryuujin-sama a considering look after the dragon appeared overhead. My nerves harden as I dread the worst.

Without warning Orochimaru runs a thumb over his own blade and brings it down to the ground, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu."

An ominous, purple-tinted smoke cloud fills the air as a large, hulking figure slithers out onto the field.

"Orochimaru, you'd better prepare at least one hundred sacrifices after this, you got that?" Comes the gravelly voice of Manda, the Snake Boss.

Orochimaru only gives him a noncommittal shrug, "Make sure to dispose of the dragon, Manda."

The gargantuan snake, easily as big as Ryuujin-sama's own length, hisses angrily at its summoner despite it turning towards the dragon and engaging in a fight.

The two titans battle it out in the background, leveling the forest with each swipe and bite, their guttural cries echoing out as one or the other gains the upper hand.

"Now, back to where we left off." The snaky voice snaps my attention towards him, surprising me because in that second of inattention he was already right by me.

I immediately shunshin away but another cut is my punishment for my distraction. This time it was on my left forearm.

I had no time to heal either cuts as I pulled out two kunai to deflect any more blows from Kusanagi. Orochimaru was clearly so much stronger than I am. Hell, even in my prime at this age I wouldn't be able to hold off against him much longer.

The only person I could think off in this timeline that would be able to stand against him was off somewhere I didn't know, maybe with his team or halfway across Konoha. The tsurugi slides between my arms and cuts a large chunk off my side. I stagger as I fall helplessly onto a pile of rotted leaves, the kunai still clenched in my bloodied fists.

In the distance the two behemoths continue to clash, their maws dripping red and their scales surrounding them like a smog. The two are intertwined with one another, uncertain of where one ends and the other starts like the storied Ouroboros. In my head the only things I can hear from Ryuujin-sama is the call of battle or an unsettling silence. I do not know which scares me more.

Orochimaru stands above me now, tall and proud and overwhelmingly God-like in this state with the wind at his back and the sun setting behind him. If it hadn't been for the ringing, teeth-aching pain coursing through my body I would have dared to call him beautiful out loud. As he stood now with a smile that bordered between blasé and serene, Kusanagi in his hand, and the fake skin nearly falling off him like a tattered rag, I count my blessings for the second time.

My breaths become softer and softer as I kept my eyes open with sheer will power. I barely had any more chakra left since most of it went into summoning Ryuujin-sama in his combat form and the other in trying to put as much strength into my body to fight Orochimaru.

 _Much help that did, I'm no Tsunade-hime blessed with supernatural strength and pinpoint chakra control_ , I think jokingly sarcastically.

The Sannin in front of me tilts his head at seeing the small smile that forms on my face, probably confused as to why I was smiling when I was soon to be dead. I tried to shake my head- and end up failing- because he wouldn't understand anyways.

He takes a few steps towards me and I think he's had his fun with me now. Kusanagi shines brilliantly and I continue to look up at this twisted, beautiful man who will deliver my last death.

I finally let go of my kunai, the metal rolling onto the ground that I laid on. But before Orochimaru raises his arm, I catch a flash of silver and red and orange in the corner of my eye.

"Hinowa!" A strained shout calls from that direction.

There was no time to see who had come because Orochimaru was plunging Kusanagi straight through my already-bleeding abdomen. I cough out dark globs of blood immediately and there are cries from all directions, engulfing me along with a fading vision.

Orochimaru gave me one last look over before rushing off, a blur of grey and white chasing after him in the process.

I force my eyes open, wanting to take in the Konoha sky one last time but what appears in my vision instead makes my failing breath catch even more. Maybe it was the way my blood dripped and spilled over me, a gaping wound where Kusanagi had struck.

Kakashi's face as I was pulled into the darkness of unconsciousness was wrought with more expression than I had ever seen. Eyebrows pinched together, eye glossing with the threat of tears that would surely grow red after.

I could barely make out the movements of his mask, his voice overpowered by the high pitched ringing in my ears. It didn't matter. His face alone told me all that was to know of how he felt at seeing me die: Heart overflowing with the burning hope to see me live. A soldier's desperation; expecting those around him to die but still wishing to see everyone make it through.

This was it. I was going to die a second death.

Unlike my previous death- which was riddled with regret and bitterness- this one was surprisingly calming for me. Almost peaceful, even.

The juxtaposition of the turmoil of the outside world paired against the still-water thrum inside me made for quite the pretty picture, I felt. It might have been because I wasn't alone this time; people I have grown to care for and even love were around me. Instead of the loneliness of a solitary death I can live on in the memories of those who have seen me fade out, as morbid as it may seem.

Despite my relatively short time in this world, with these people, I have grown to love them for who they are. Not as poor imitations of those I knew in another life (and definitely not as a replacement) but for who they were as they were presented to me.

It was perhaps selfish of me to wish that they don't forget me. To keep their last memory of my dying breath in their minds only to satisfy my need to not be forgotten. It eased me, however the price, to know I won't be forgotten. For who can easily forget the death of a comrade, of a friend?

Mustering up all my strength in this broken body, I spoke, "...thank you."

My eyes could no longer stay open, missing the crystalline tear that dropped from Kakashi's lone eye.

* * *

**The end?**

**Comments/Kudos/Bookmarks = Author Motivation = Faster Updates**


	13. Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> […] I say out loud to you that  
> death is an ocean, and I am not wading into it, but I can see it from  
> where I stand, can taste its salt in the air, and I am scared of how  
> close the sound of it crashes.
> 
> — Anis Mojgani, from "The Fish," published in Winter Tangerine

⧪- **Book Two** -⧪

* * *

Drifting, drifting. There is a warmth like a flame but it doesn't burn. It makes my skin tingle and sing. A cocoon of safety is wrapped around me like I'm submerged in water but I don't suffocate. The conflicting feelings of fire and water should make me feel wrong but all I felt was a blissful detachment.

Those feelings ended in an abrupt halt when the sudden motion of vertigo came crashing into my body like waves.

Eyes that suddenly materialized into my bony sockets snapped open to be greeted by the pale grey ceiling of a hospital's walls. For a brief moment of panic I feared that I had gone back in time again and ended up in the same hospital where Kakashi- the one who knew me only superficially- left me long ago. If this proved true then I couldn't help but feel this was some kind of sick joke; to repeat random moments of my life like this.

At least this proved that I didn't die by Orochimaru's hands. Kusanagi had dealt a devastating blow but it wasn't enough, or maybe I was spared on purpose. I wouldn't put it past the Sannin to have an ulterior motive to keep me alive. He had, in fact, told me that he found my summons 'interesting'.

The stale smell of sanitizer and dried blood fills my nose as I take in the rest of the room: a beige chair in the corner with a small table next to it, blue curtains pulled aside to reveal the early morning rays of sun, and a bouquet of sage and snowdrop sat in a vase next to me.

Before I could contemplate on who would bring flowers that meant "health and hope", a familiar chakra signature rushes their way into my room. The stormy, static feeling of the chakra gave me an inkling of who it could be but it was all _too_ familiar.

My breath hitches in my throat. The only thing stopping me from running out the door- to greet the person coming towards me- is the fact that my body was shot-up numb with pain killers. The sheets stir listlessly by my slow fidgeting anyways.

"Hinowa." My name comes out almost like a prayer with the breathless quality of the voice.

I turn to look at the person and what I saw made me gape and blank out momentarily. The man who stood before me was Hatake Kakashi, but not the one who interrogated me on the pretense of a date or the one who suspected me of being a spy. The man that stood before me wore his wedding ring as a pendant on a necklace, his aged eyes surrounded by fine lines with strands of grey poking out from the usual silver on his head.

This was _my_ Kakashi. My sun and moon; the one who understood me and saw me for my best and absolute worst, this was my Kakashi. My one and only.

"K-Kakashi.." My voice broke because of the hoarseness of my throat as well as the building tension in my heart of seeing him again.

"Hinowa, Hinowa," He came closer and kneeled down beside my bed to place a calloused hand on my cheek. The skin tingles where he's touched.

"Hinowa." He repeats like a chant and I catch the urgency of his voice, the helplessness he felt.

There were no tears. The both of us too old and understanding of each other to know when the other was crying on the inside. He rests his forehead against mine and almost as if linking a connection, I swear I could feel everything he was feeling at the moment.

Uncertainty, unyielding love, and a consuming relief.

I raised my own hand- one that held a scar within its palm- to put it on over his own, our two hands cradling my face as to never let go. I kiss his temple and unspoken feelings course through us like lightning.

* * *

Kakashi's wife- more than that, his _better half-_ placed her lips to his head, they were chapped but he felt it heal wounds his heart could no longer bear.

"I thought I lost you. I thought you'd never come back. I thought…" His words trail off as the hurt surfaces in his voice, causing him to waver and collapse onto the dark haired woman.

"I'm here now, I'm here." She shushes him comfortingly and draws circles in his back. Unmindful of his weight bearing down on her resting body.

Kakashi had been against her mission since the beginning. His student- now the current Hokage- had wanted her and a small team of other jounin to retrieve a scroll in Iwa that originally belonged to Konoha. Although the Shinobi Alliance allowed more peaceful negotiation between hidden villages, there were still tensions surrounding certain things like property of the sort the mission called for.

In his own professional opinion as a once-Kage, he felt that the mission should be assigned to ANBU instead and not to a team of, albeit experienced and battle hardened, jounin. ANBU were much more reliable in missions where stealth is concerned. Kakashi tried to use his political influence to sway the 7th Hokage's decision but he hadn't want to refute too much about the situation however, knowing it would hurt Naruto's standing as the standing Hokage and Hinowa's feelings of being able to handle herself.

So he had let her go.

The silver haired nin regretted it almost immediately after noticing the first sign of something gone wrong. The leader of Hinowa's group hadn't made a check-in that day and it led to Kakashi barrelling into the blonde's office and demanding to send him after his wife. Naruto denied him at first, stating that it isn't uncommon for check-in's to be delayed but Kakashi kept pushing it until he was finally given the go ahead the next day. Naruto really should have known by now that he had gotten his stubbornness from his teacher.

He couldn't have ran after her fast enough. Naruto had made one of his ANBU accompany him for Hinowa's team retrieval and even the mask-faced operative had to push themself to keep up with Kakashi's brutal pace. Even at his age, Kakashi didn't slack with training and body conditioning. The Copy-nin was Hokage only for a short term but he had earned that title for a reason.

The forest vegetation that labelled the Land of Fire soon gave way to the craggy setting befitting of the Land of Earth. Of course, there was no time for sightseeing (or even eating and resting) because Kakashi had absolute tunnel vision at that point.

Hinowa's team should have gotten the scroll by now and be heading their way out of Iwa, checking in with one of Konoha's watchtowers placed as a "diplomatic show of peace" in the outskirts of Earth. Kakashi knew better, however. If they haven't checked in by now then they must have run into trouble. The Copy-nin was far too experienced to delude himself into hopeful thinking, that Hinowa might have gotten sidetracked or the scroll was taking some time to retrieve. No, from experience he knew that either someone had double-crossed them or they've gotten caught.

He could only hope Hinowa was at least _alive_. The thumping in his heart betrayed the anxious feelings inside him; the small fear belying in the pit of his stomach that made it difficult to create deep relationships with people in fear that they would someday _die._

Kakashi adamantly refused to linger on the thought of Hinowa's death. He removed those thoughts from his head completely and pushed on.

The ANBU and Kakashi were flying past the base of one of the many mountains of Iwa when the familiar scent of coppery metal hit the silver haired nin's nose. He signalled for his masked partner to stop and veer right, wanting to investigate the smell.

Nearby there were multiple smudges of blood on a gravelly path, too many to be considered "random". They were footprints. Alarmed, he ran off to find the source. Although it might have been a risk to check out the blood trail, Kakashi had an unsettling gut feeling that told him to follow it.

He didn't know whether he should be grateful or resentful.

The nin followed the trail until he caught sight of a fallen body in a clearing made by rocky ground and gravel. The body was lying in a pool of its own blood, the edges darkening to a maroon tipping off the fact that it had been out for a while.

Kakashi couldn't stop the tremble in his hands. He kneeled down next to it, his pants soaking in the blood around his knees, and raised a shaking hand to the body's head. Gently, as if the bruises and cuts on the body hadn't felt worse, he pulled dark strands of hair aside that stuck onto the body's cheek from more blood.

"Oh gods…" The ANBU behind him whispers out.

Normally, ANBU would make no reaction whatsoever but when it was the wife of their past Hokage, ANBU commander, and senpai lying half-dead on the ground it was hard to suppress the personal feelings that arose. The masked operative sucked in another breath before falling completely silent, he could only imagine what Kakashi was feeling.

The first feeling was rage. At who, Kakashi didn't really know. There was so much to be angry at in that moment of finding Hinowa's body. Anger at the people who did this to her. Anger at Hinowa for taking on the mission. Anger at her teammates for not protecting her. Anger at Naruto for assigning the mission. And most importantly, anger at himself for always being so _goddamn late_ and not being there to save the people he loved.

It's been years and he still has regrets even after the Fourth Shinobi World War.

The next feeling, immediate and overshadowing the previous one, was grief. Pure, unadulterated grief. In that brief moment Kakashi truly believed his Hinowa to be dead. Of course fate had it so that he'd be the first to find his wife's dead body. It let him find his father's one, too.

His eyes were closed and still there were no tears- all of it spent in four wars. He laid his head on her chest, as if for the last time he'd be with her, and nearly lost the will to continue on until the small _thump_ below him jolted his eyes wide open.

Pulling his head back as if he was struck, he placed his fingers to her neck and nearly let out a sob at the feeling of a faint beating. It was quiet and nearly non-existent but it was there.

That alone renewed a kindle of hope within him and the silverette wonders why he had ever considered letting her go that easily.

"She's alive." He confirms, though for himself or for the ANBU that was at his side the next moment he didn't know.

Hinowa is alive and it was all that mattered at the moment.

Quickly and competently the two of them set to work as they bandaged up what they can and healed the unconscious woman's body with whatever medical jutsu they knew of. It didn't take long and soon after they were rushing back to Konoha, a woman on Kakashi's back and a revived fervor. They had arrived back faster than they have left.

By the time they were pushing through the emergency room of Konoha's hospital the sun had set and the chill of the night was pressing into the village. Kakashi immediately situated himself by Hinowa's bedside after her surgery- needed for the broken ribs and leaking organs- when she was cleared for visitors.

She'd stay in a comatose state for a whole week before she opened her eyes. Kakashi stayed with her every night even then.

* * *

"Damn. I really fucked up with that one." The blonde rumbled out as he laid back into his chair and threw his head back.

"Kakashi-sensei will probably hold it against you forever." A pinkette says back, unmindful of the choked cough the man let out at her words.

"Sakura-chan!" The 7th Hokage whines out, "Do you really think that? I sent him a formal invitation so that I could apologize to him properly but he hasn't replied back. Hinata said that it would help…"

Haruno Sakura was a patient woman, even more so now after the war and settling into motherhood, but her old teammate always knew when to be so dense at the most convenient times.

So she blew up at him, "Idiot! No wonder he's pissed at you! Not only did the mission put his wife into a coma but you aren't even fucking sincere about apologizing to him or seeing how Hinowa-san is doing!"

Naruto, saviour of the world and one of the strongest men alive, smartfully ducked for cover from the pinkette's swinging fists. He's been hit by those more than enough times to know it'd knock him out with one blow.

"But why would I go and see how Hinowa-san is doing? I already know she's still in a coma…" He tests out but it was apparently the wrong answer because the fists came swinging back, harder than before.

"You insensitive prick!" Fire blazes in Sakura's jade green eyes.

A click from the door averts their attention, "Hn. Sakura usually only calls me that."

"Sasuke!" "Teme!" Unison voices gasp out.

The Uchiha raises a brow at the two, Sakura towering over a fallen Naruto that had his hands up in defense. A nostalgic scene, really.

"I came here to tell you that Hinowa-san has awoken." Sasuke relays to the blonde what one of the medic staffers had told him.

"No way!" "Seriously?" Again with the double speak.

"Hn." He affirms.

The three quickly collect themselves and become professional again before heading towards the hospital.

"Hokage-sama." The head medic bows to Naruto and quickly they're guided to a room down a hallway in the left wing.

"This is the intensive care unit so please be respectful to the other patients in this building as well." The head medic sends a warning glance at the three, which they gave sheepish looks to, and leaves the room.

Naruto has to conceal a grimace at the acidic smell of sanitation and turns to look at the bed near the window of the room where a bandaged body laid with a silver haired man sat next it.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura calls out gently, "I heard Hinowa-san has come to?"

Sakura was in charge of the surgery Hinowa had gone through, had put in all her effort into mending the broken body that had come to her that night. She had to cry silent tears as her hands were forcibly steady and cutting into the woman she'd known akin to a second mother. Hinowa would live even if she had to give it her all, she had thought selfishly then.

"I understand if you hadn't want us here," Sasuke adds, "But I think we deserve to see her, too."

 _She matters to us, too,_ goes unsaid.

Kakashi is silent but he makes a small movement of his head. It was all the affirmation the three need and they huddled around the bed and silver haired man.

Hinowa laid nearly bandaged head-to-toe with wires and tubes in and around her. Her dark hair was greasy from the messily cleaned blood and her eye, the one not wearing an eyepatch, had dark rings beneath it- partly from a black eye and partly from restless sleep.

"Hey…" She whispers out, almost like a croak, at the sight of the three.

It was, unsurprisingly, Naruto who spoke first, "Hinowa-san, I'm so sorry. I knew the risks and even Kakashi-sensei advised against it but I thought you had it. I know, it just sounds like I'm making excuses but really hear me out when I say I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

His eyes are shut closed with shame and apology so he misses the fond look the woman gives him. It isn't until Sasuke places a hand on his shoulder does he open his eyes again. Hinowa flexes out a hand towards him and he blinks, his face contorted in repentance, until he gets it and takes hold of her bandaged appendage.

"It's a'right. Nothin' to do ab't it now," She half slurs out, but the emotion in her voice is solid, "I f'give you."

She looks at him and then at Kakashi, conveying emotions that only the two could understand. Her hand squeezes against the blonde's and she gives a lopsided smile.

"It's gon' be a'right."

* * *

**She's not dead! The show must go on! **This is officially the start of "Book 2" of _Am I the Dreamer or the Dream?_  since I've changed the format to be ordered as 'books'. I've edited Ch.1 wayyyy back to be the start of "Book 1" so now the story can be divided into big, specific pieces.****

**Haha if you thought it was the end last chapter you were wrong! Of course, if you liked how it "ended" you can stop reading from there and enjoy the story as it was: Hinowa dying for Team 7 and Kakashi crying over her.**

**BUT, I just added a (hopefully) plot twist that will keep you all reading. Hinowa has returned back to her old world, with husband!Kakashi and epilogue!Team 7 and now she must deal with the consequences of having lived in two worlds.**

**She didn't make a big freak out about the whole "returning back to the original world" in this chapter because she's still delirious and loopy on drugs so wait for it in the next chapter. Sorry for the shortness of this chapter however, I really just wanted to finish it and post it so here is what I have!**

**The ANBU with Kakashi is obviously Tenzou if you haven't guessed by the way. I'll also explain how she survived her brush with death in a later chapter but please feel free to share your own theories.**

**In fact, tell me what you all think about Hinowa returning back to her world and what that would mean in terms of her sanity, her relationships with people in both worlds, and the existence of a "higher force".**

**As always, thanks for reading!**

**Comments/Kudos/Bookmarks = Author Motivation = Faster Updates**


End file.
